


Khaaan!

by yaoichan12



Series: Jim the (Not-So) Virgin [3]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, F/M, Family, Gen, Humor, Kid Fic, M/M, Romance, Sexual Content, Temporary Character Deaths
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-23
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-05-15 18:42:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 42,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5795662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaoichan12/pseuds/yaoichan12
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just after Xander and Soren's second birthday, Khan shows up.<br/> </p><p>  <em>Sequel to Captain and Commander and Jim the (Not So) Virgin</em><br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Terrible Twos

**Author's Note:**

> I was having trouble with a title so I thought Khaaan! would be appropriate lol.  
> I don't know when/how often I will update this just yet. Grad school has started back up and I have a lot to do this semester. I will try and update...every Saturday perhaps. We'll see :)

“…Happy Birthday dear Xander and Soren!” Everyone in the mess hall sang. “Happy Birthday to you!”

Xander and Soren grinned up at the crew and their dads from where they sat in their highchairs.  The crew clapped at the end of the song while Jim and Bones placed two little cakes in front of them.  The twins immediately dove into their respective cakes; grabbing large chunks of it and smushing it into their faces and mouths.

“See,” Jim said to Bones. “That’s why we didn’t give them their cakes before we started to sing.”

Bones nodded while the crew laughed at the twins who were now covered in their cakes.

“Such silly, messy boys,” Jim cooed before leaning against his husband.

_Can’t believe they’re two, Spock._

_Indeed._

Jim smiled then sighed as a chunk of cake hit him in the chest.  He looked to the highchairs and saw Soren giggling as Xander prepared to throw something at Spock. 

“Xander. No,” Spock said a little sternly.  Xander pouted them turned his attention to Bones and threw the cake at him instead, hitting his uncle in the face.

Bones grumbled and held back swear words as he glared at Jim and Spock. 

“Hey, I got hit too.  Its not my fault you are in the line of fire,” Jim told his friend who shook his head and walked away to clean off his face.   

* * *

 

After Jim had changed into a clean captain’s shirt and wiped off the boys’ messy faces, he put them in the corner of the mess where there was a little gated play area set up.  He then grabbed a cupcake and walked over to where his husband and bridge crew were sitting.  They watched the boys play with their new toys for several moments before turning their attentions back to one another.

“Terrible twos, huh?” Sulu asked.

Jim snorted. “The terrors have always been terrible.”

“They have not, Jim,” Spock countered.

“Oh? And when were they sweet little angels?”

“The first five months of their life, before they started crawling.”

Jim chuckled and nodded, “Right…good times.  They did cry a lot and make their diapers explode, though.”

“But they’re so cute,” Uhura cooed, looking over to the twins.

“Getting baby fever, Uhura?” Jim questioned, smiling at his communications officer. 

Scotty perked up in his seat waiting for Uhura to respond then deflated when she did. 

“God no. I just like your cute babies. Have no desire to have kids for a very long time.”

“Well anytime you want to watch the terrors, by all means, take ‘em. They’re not that terrible.”

“Don’t do it; it’s a trap,” Bones hissed to Uhura who laughed.

Spock arched a brow at the doctor then shook his head.

“Anyway,” Jim spoke up.  “When do we get to Nibiru?”

“Three days, Keptin,” Chekov told his captain before taking a big bite of his cupcake. 

“We are to survey the planet and the primitive, pre-warp species called the Nibirans,” Uhura added. 

“Fun,” Jim sighed; he wanted to do more than survey.

“Daddy, daddy,” Xander called from the play area. 

Jim looked to his son. “Yes?”

“I pooped.”

Jim closed his eyes and internally groaned.  He opened his eyes and looked to his mate.  Spock had turned away from Jim and was looking to the opposite wall.

“Spock.”

.

.

.

“Spock…”

“Daddy!” Xander called again.

Jim sighed and stood up, walking over to Xander and picking him up. Jim gave Spock a look before carrying his son out of the room.  Soren watched his daddy and brother leave then looked to Spock and grinned.

Spock hung his head as Soren exclaimed that he pooped too.

* * *

 

Jim tucked his sons into their respective toddler beds and smiled at them.

“Did ya’ll have a good birthday?”

“Yes!” they both replied.

“Love you two so much.”

Xander and Soren’s brown eyes twinkled as they smiled back at their daddy.

“Love you daddy,” Xander said.

“Love you,” Soren added.

Jim looked behind him to Spock standing in the doorway. “And sa-mekh loves you too.”

“I do love all three of you,” Spock told them. “Now it is time to sleep.”

The twins giggled and pulled their covers over their heads.

“Terrors,” Jim chuckled. “Want me to read you another story?”

Soren moved the covers off his head and nodded. “Yes, peas!”

“Please,” Spock correct.

“Peas!” Xander exclaimed.

Jim chuckled and grabbed a picture book from the boys’ little bookshelf.  He walked between their beds and sat on the floor between them.

“Alright, one more story then nighty nights.”

Soren leaned over from his bed and took the book from his daddy.  He then sat up on the bed and held it out to his sa-mekh.

“Dada read, peas,” Soren asked.

Jim looked to Spock and smiled. “They want their dada to read to them.”

Spock was illogical surprised as his boys usually preferred for Jim to read to them.  He nodded and then walked over to the beds and took the book from Soren. Jim got up from the floor and Spock sat down where Jim had been sitting. Jim ruffled Spock’s hair then said goodnight to his sons before leaving the room so Spock could read to them.

* * *

 

Spock entered their bedroom and found his captain sitting up in their bed under the covers, reading his PADD.

“The boys are asleep,” Spock told him as he starting getting undressed and into his pajamas.

“Only two hours past their bedtime,” Jim chuckled.  “At least we only let them indulge in cake once a year.”

“Indeed. What are you reading, ashayam?”

“The mission brief about Nibiru.  Planet seems interesting.”

“We are to…”

“Survey only, Spock. I know,” Jim interrupted. 

Spock nodded and got into bed next to his mate.  Jim smiled and nodded before placing his PADD to the side and snuggling against his husband. Spock wrapped his arms around Jim and took comfort in his mate’s scent and the lovely thrumming of their bond.

“I’m getting just a little tired of these survey missions, Spock.”

“I am aware.”

“I want more adventure.”

“Like the incident with Mudd?”

Jim scoffed. “God no.”

“What would you prefer, Jim?”

Jim turned his head up from where it was on Spock’s chest. His bright blue eyes twinkled as he said. “A five year mission.”

“A five year mission has never been attempted.”

“Who better to lead one, though?”

“You of course, t’hyla.  I am sure Starfleet will consider it.”

Jim nodded then placed his head back on Spock’s chest.  “Would be so great.  You, me, and the boys…five years. To boldly go where no one has gone before.”

Spock’s chest rumbled in response.  “That does sound like a perfect adventure for us.  Let us get thru the Nibiru mission first then we can plan to pitch the idea to Starfleet.”

Jim chuckled. “We’re surveying a planet Spock.  It’s not much of a mission.  Probably going to be quite boring.”

“Indeed.”


	2. Volcanoes Suck

Jim ran to the bridge, soaking wet, after Scotty had informed him that his husband was still in the volcano.  Jim tried getting Spock to talk to him through their bond but his mate was shielding him.

_Dammit, Spock, you’re not supposed to close me out anymore,_ Jim fussed. He entered the bridge with Bones and Scotty right behind him.

“Uhura, do we have an open channel to Spock?” he asked, standing in the middle of the bridge.

She nodded, “We have contact but the heat is frying his comms, Captain.”

Jim clenched his fists and turned to Sulu’s terminal. He pressed the button, opening the comm channel to his husband.  “Spock?”

“The device has been activated, Captain,” Spock responded.

Jim internally sighed in relief at hearing Spock’s voice.

Spock continued, “When the countdown is complete, the reaction should render the volcano inert.”

Bones grumbled to himself behind Jim something about Spock rendering himself inert.  Jim ignored him and looked to Chekov and Sulu, “Do we have use of the transporters?”

“Negative,” Sulu replied as Chekov said, “Not with these magnetic fields, Keptin.”

“I need Spock beamed back to the ship,” Jim insisted, trying to keep calm.  “Give me some way to do it.”

“Maybe…if we had a direct line of sight. If we got closer…” Chekov tried saying but Scotty interrupted him.

“Hold on. That is an active volcano!” Scotty looked to Jim and fussed. “Sir, if that thing erupts, I cannot guarantee that we can withstand the heat.”

“And I don’t know if we can maintain altitude,” Sulu spoke up.

“Captain,” Spock’s voice came through the comms.  “Our shuttle was concealed by the ash cloud, but the Enterprise is too large.  If used in a rescue effort, the ship will be revealed to the Nibirans.”

Jim sighed, “Spock, nobody knows the rules better than you, but this is an exception.”

“An exception is illogical.  The Prime Directive…”

“Shut up, hobgoblin!” Bones nearly yelled, walking closer to Jim. “We’re trying to save you, damn it!”

“The needs of the many outweigh…”

“SPOCK!” Jim snapped causing his crew to jump slightly.  Jim mentally bombarded Spock with images of their sons. “We are getting you out of that volcano whether you like it or not.”

“Captain…Jim…” the comm then went out which made Jim’s heart beat faster in his chest.  He panicked for a second before realizing his bond with Spock was still there.  He turned and looked to Uhura who was shaken up.

“Try to get him back,” Jim told her. She nodded and went to her station as Bones took Jim’s wrist and turned him to him.

“Can’t you communicate with him your Vulcan mind voodoo?” Bones asked, worried for his friend.

Jim tried but Spock was still shielding.  He shook his head at Bones.

“Ninety seconds ‘til detonation, Keptin,” Chekov said.

Jim clenched his fists.  He knew it was wrong to break the Prime Directive but he knew he couldn’t live without Spock or go on with the fact that he had a chance to save him and didn’t.

“Spock wouldn’t leave me if the situation were reversed, right?” Jim asked Bones for reassurance.

Bones hesitated to answer for a moment before shaking his head. “I’d think he’d try and save you.”

“Good answer,” Jim said before ordering Sulu to maneuver the ship above the Vulcan.  “We’re getting my stupid husband.”

* * *

 

Jim rushed from the bridge once he got word that Spock was being beamed aboard, leaving Sulu in charge on the bridge to get them away from the planet. When he got to the transporter room, Spock was materializing on the pad.  Jim smiled and looked over his husband.

“Spock! You all right?” Jim asked, happy to see his mate safe onboard their ship.

Spock raised a brow from behind the helmet he was wearing.  “Captain, you let them see our ship.”

Jim smile disappeared. “You just saved the world, Spock.”

“You violated the Prime Directive,” Spock replied.

Jim clenched his fists and glared at his husband before turning on his heal and leaving the room.   Bones stayed behind as some crew started a decontamination spray on Spock in his suit.

“For a genius, you’re a real idiot, Spock,” Bones grumbled.

“Doctor, the Prime Dire…”

“Spock, you were about to die! What was Jim supposed to do, huh?  Leave your ass then tell your sons that their father didn’t want to be rescued? That Jim had a chance to save you but you said ‘no’? How do you think they’ll feel when they’re older?  I know you love them but god dammit, Spock, act like it for once!”

Spock kept silent. Bones shook his head at Spock then turned and left.

* * *

 

Spock knew he had made a mistake.  He meditated on the observation deck for several hours. Doctor McCoy’s words had hit him hard.  He did love his sons and Jim very much.  He checked on his bond with Jim and found his mate was blocking him this time; anger and sorrow was throbbing at him from Jim’s end.

Spock stood up from the floor and left the observation deck.  He saw Uhura on his way to his quarters. The lieutenant gave him a look similar to how Jim had glared at him earlier.  She turned away from him and went down another hall before Spock could stop her and say something.

Spock internally sighed and continued on to his quarters.  He stopped at his door and tried to enter but it was locked.  He tried again using another access code, but was still denied entry.  He then knocked and waited, but the door stayed closed.  Spock knocked harder on the door and was pleased when it slid open to reveal Jim standing in the doorway, blocking Spock’s entry into their quarters.

“Yes?” Jim asked in a flat tone.

Spock arched a brow. “You are still displeased with me.”

“No shit, Spock.”

“May I enter so that we may talk?”

Jim made a face like he was thinking about it before saying, “Nope.”

“I see.  Well where am I supposed to sleep, Jim?”

Jim turned to the side and grabbed something.  He turned back to Jim and shoved a bag into Spock’s arms.

“Maybe you should sleep in your science lab…or find a nice volcano.”

“Jim…”

Xander and Soren then appeared in the doorway next to their daddy.  Spock stopped talking and looked down to the faces of his precious sons.

“Hi, dada!” they said in unison.

“Hello.  Daddy will not let me enter.”

Xander and Soren looked to Jim who had crossed his arms over his chest and was glaring at Spock.

“Daddy mad,” Xander said.  His brother nodded in agreement.

Jim sighed then smiled down at his sons.  “It’s time for bed, your two.  Tell dada nighty night.  He’s going to work tonight and can’t sleep here.”

The twins nodded and turned to their father.  They came out from behind Jim, and each hugged one of Spock’s legs and looked up at him with their big brown eyes and smiled.

Spock’s heart constricted in his side.  In the volcano, at the moment he had resigned to the fact that he was to die, he had thought of his sons and his t’hy’la. How that morning before he and Jim had left to save the Nibirans; Jim had started a tickle fight with the boys and it was a beautiful sight to him. 

Spock looked to his mate and met Jim’s bright blue eyes that held how distressed he was.  Spock sent as much love as he could to his mate and watched Jim blink back tears and look away.  Jim then leaned down and ushered the boys back into the room.

“Night night!” they said to Spock before running into their room.

“I love you, Spock, but right now I am still so mad,” Jim said. 

“I consent to giving you space then, ashayam.”

Jim nodded. “Goodnight, Spock.”

“Goodnight, Jim.”

Jim shut the door then and Spock stood in the hall alone.  He sighed before heading towards his science lab.  He would mediate more and then type up his report for Starfleet; taking responsibility for the Volcano incident so his mate would not be in trouble with the admiralty.

* * *

 

Jim chuckled as the boys ran from the elevator on the floor to their San Francisco apartment.  The boys went the wrong way so Jim and Spock had to wrangle them back down on the other way.  They walked to their door and Jim waited as Spock unlocked and opened the door. 

“Boys, this door please!” Jim called to terrors who decided to knock on another door down the hall.  Xander and Soren giggled then ran back to their parents and entered the door while Jim apologized to their neighbor.  

Spock waited in the hall as Jim stepped into the doorway, took the key from the lock and placed it his bag with the key down on the floor just inside the apartment.  He then turned to look at his husband.

“I will understand if you still need space, ashayam.  I can stay at the Vulcan Embassy…”

“Spock, I don’t want space anymore. You shut me out. Again.  I hate when you do that to our bond. I hate how much it hurts.”

“I am relieved to hear that you do not want any more space, Jim.  May I explain my actions?”

Jim sat his bag down inside and nodded. “I would love to hear an explanation. Spock, you wanted to die…”

“I did not want to die,” Spock interrupted. 

“Well you didn’t care about what it would do to me or the boys.”

“I admit to shutting you out; to shielding from you and choosing not to feel how I was hurting you.  I did not want my last moments to be emotionally compromising…they were, though.  I thought of you and our sons…that morning before we went on our missions.  I may have shut the bond down between us but I still felt so much at the thought of not being able to watch our sons grow.”

Jim sniffled as Spock continued.  “I wanted you and our sons to be safe. There was a 25.63% chance I could have died while you violated the Prime Directive trying to rescue me. Consequently, you would have been kicked out of Starfleet or possibly court marshalled. You would not be able to be support the boys in that case.  At least if I had died without a rescue attempt then you would be able to take care of them.”

“But I wouldn’t have you!” Jim said, his eyes holding back tears.

“Xander and Soren should be our top priorities, Jim.  Their lives and well-being come before our own.”

Jim nodded, “I…I agree with that, but Spock I need you.  How could I live with the fact that I had a chance to save you and didn’t? What am I supposed to tell the boys when they’re older?  They’d resent me and blame me…” Jim trailed off as Spock pulled him in a tight embrace. Spock held Jim silently as Jim started sobbing quietly, evidenced only by the slight shake of his shoulders.

“McCoy expressed the same sentiment to me after I was saved from the volcano,” Spock said, trying to soothe his mate.  “I would not want that to happen and as I was successfully rescued, I owe you a series of apologies for making you feel such a way.  I regret that I hurt my t’hy’la. Hurting you hurts me so much, ashayam.”

Jim sniffled and hugged Spock back, nuzzling the Vulcan’s neck.  “We’re not very good with all this emotion stuff are we?  We keep screwing up.”

“I believe that I fail in this aspect more than you do.”

Jim smiled into Spock’s neck. “Yeah, well, you _are_ an emotionless robot.”

Spock reached a hand down Jim’s back to his ass and gave it a light slap in response.  Jim laughed and pulled back from Spock’s embrace slightly to looking into Spock’s brown eyes.

“I love you.”

“And I cherish you.”

“I would break the Prime Directive a thousand times if it meant saving you or the boys.”

“I…admit that I would most likely do the same.”

Jim then grinned and stepped closer to Spock so their hips were flush together. “You know what?  We’ve had a fight.”

“It was more of a…”

“Spock.”

“Yes, we had a fight,” Spock then agreed.

“So…make-up sex would be the next logical step, right?”

“Indeed.”

Jim kissed his mate and was about to tell him they need to put the twins to bed early when the door to their apartment shut behind them.  They broke their kiss and looked to the closed door, hearing two giggles on the other side. 

Jim sighed and tried opening the door but found it locked.  Both he and Spock’s eyes went wide.

“Xander! Soren! Open the door!” Jim called, knocking on the door.

“My sons, this is not amusing.  Do not lock me and your daddy out.”

“No!” The boys giggled laughed through the door.

Jim stopped knocking and tried a sweet tone. “Boys, do you want ice-cream?  Open the door and we’ll get some.”

“Jim, do not bribe them.”

“What am I supposed to do Spock? And you’re the one who had to buy an apartment that used a doorknob and key. Where is the key by the way?”

“You took it out of the door and placed it with your bags that are inside the apartment.”

“So it’s my fault we’re locked out?”

.

.

.

“Spock?”

“I will kick the door open,” Spock instead said of admitting that it was his mate’s fault.

Jim groaned, “You can’t kick it open because the terrors are right behind the door. You’d hurt them.”

Spock internally sighed then tried knocking again. “Xander and Soren, open the door now.”

“No!”

Jim sighed and shook his head. “Bones has a spare key.”

“Or I could get the boys to open the door,” a voice said from behind them.  Jim and Spock turned and relaxed in relief at seeing Amanda standing there.

“Oh thank god,” Jim said, giving his mother-in-law a quick hug. “What are you doing here?”

“Thought you’d need help wrangling the boys for your trip to Vulcan next week,” Amanda said with a smile.  “May I try opening the door?”

Jim moved back and nodded, allowing her to work her magic.

Amanda smiled and went to the door. She knocked then said, “Nana is here.  Why don’t you open the door so I can see your cute little faces?”

“Nana!” they heard the boys exclaim through the door.  The door then opened and the boys ran into Amanda’s arms. “Miss you!” They both told her.

“I missed you two so much too!” she cooed before ushering them back into the apartment.

Jim and Spock went to follow but Amanda shut and locked the door right behind her.  Jim and Spock exchanged a look before knocking.

“Mother, please let us in.”

“Amanda, this isn’t funny.”

“Mother, we will give you more grandchildren.”

“Spock, you’re not knocking me up just to get back into the apartment,” Jim said as Amanda opened the door.

“More grandkids? Deal,” She said.

Spock nodded then entered the apartment while Jim stayed back in the hallway.  Amanda looked to him and smiled.

“No, Amanda.”

“Just one more.”

Jim sighed. “Fine, but not until after a five year mission and only one more baby.”

“Deal,” Amanda agreed.


	3. Demoted

Xander woke up and looked over to his brother.  Soren was starting to wake up and was rubbing his eyes.  They looked at each other then got out of their toddler beds and headed out of their bedroom door, wandering into the living room to play with their toys in the corner.

“My twuck,” Soren said, grabbing a red fire truck and rolling it around. 

“Okay,” Xander replied then grabbed a blue starship and started flying it around. 

They stopped playing for a moment when they heard a noise from the couch.  They turned towards the sound and saw their daddy’s talking machine on the couch.

Xander grinned and poked his brother.  Soren looked to him and grinned back.

“We take it to daddy,” Soren said.

“Yeah but then we hide it,” Xander added.

“Okay!”

Xander and Soren then jumped from their spots on the floor and rushed to the couch.  Soren grabbed the noisy talking machine then he and his twin ran down the hall towards their dads’ room. 

They stopped at the closed door and heard funny noises from inside.  They exchanged a look before Xander reached up and turned the doorknob and pushed the door open. 

* * *

 

“Oh shit!” Jim exclaimed, moving from where he was top of Spock. 

Xander and Soren each arch a brow as their naked dads scrambled around on the bed. They heard a grunt from their sa-mekh and saw him bunch covers into his lap before closing his eyes.  Their daddy had moved to sit on his knees with the covers pulled around him. 

Jim looked to the twins and smiled; his face red in embarrassment. “Hey, boys.  You’re up early.”

He watched Xander and Soren glance to each other before walking closer to the bed.

“You nakey,” Soren said.

Jim chuckled nervously, “No I’m not.”

“Yes you are,” Xander said. “So is dada.”

Jim looked to Spock. _Spock, say something._

_You kneed me in the groin,_ Spock grumbled back through their bond. 

Jim made an apologetic face at his mate before looking back to their boys. He then heard a ringing from his communicator and looked around.  He zeroed in on the noise and saw the communicator was in Soren’s hand.  Jim smiled and leaned forward on the bed, towards his son.

“Soren, may I have my communicator?” Jim asked, holding his hand out.

Soren looked to the communicator in his hand then looked to his dad with his big brown eyes.  He started to hold his hand out but his twin stopped him.

“We hide,” Xander said. 

“No no,” Jim told them. “No hiding daddy’s stuff.  Give me the communicator.”

.

.

.

Jim groaned and plopped face down on the bed as his sons turned and ran from the room to hide his communicator.  He then gasped in slight pain as someone slapped his naked butt.  He turned and looked at Spock accusingly.

“You kneed me,” Spock told him again.

Jim rolled his eyes then got out of bed to get dressed and play hide-and-seek for his communicator.

* * *

 

A few hours later, Jim and Spock were walking across Starfleet headquarters campus on their way to a meeting with Pike; dressed in the black formal uniform.  Amanda had taken the boys to the park. They had not located Jim’s communicator, but luckily the boys had not taken Spock’s as they received notification through that as well.

“It’s going to be a five year mission,” Jim said excitedly, almost bouncing next to his mate as they walked. “That’s why Pike called.”

Spock nodded but remained silent.

“A five year mission! Deep space, Spock. Uncharted territory!”  Jim looked to his mate and turned as they walked and walked backwards. “You look cute in your hat by the way.”

Spock nodded again and kept walking.

“Spock,” Jim nearly whined. He stopped walking and stood in front of his husband so he’d have to stop as well. “What’s up?”

“Nothing is ‘up’, Captain.”

Jim sighed, knowing Spock only called him Captain while they were on duty or when he was irritated with Jim.  He stepped closer and gave Spock puppy dog eyes. “Are you still upset that we were interrupted this morning?”

Spock arched a brow. “I am not fond of being interrupted, however since we have twins, I have become used to our alone times being disturbed.”

“Then why are you mad?”

“To be mad is illogical.”

“Spock,” Jim said a little sternly before thinking about why Spock would be mad.  A light bulb went on in his head.  “I know.  I kneed you this morning.  Spock, it was an accident.”

“I am aware.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I accept your apology.”

Jim eyed his mate then grinned. “I’ll make it up to you tonight, I promise.”

Spock looked around Jim to the Starfleet headquarters building then back to Jim. He gave his mate a slightly smirk before saying, “We are currently sixteen minutes early for our meeting with Admiral Pike.”

Jim’s eyes lit up. _Supply closet? You wanna do it or do you want me on my knees?_

_Knees._

Jim wiggled his eyebrows then turned and quickly walked towards the building. Spock waited a few seconds then followed after his mate.

* * *

 

Fourteen point seven minutes later Jim and Spock stood at attention in front of Pike’s desk. They waited quietly as Pike sat in his chair and looked over a file.

“Uneventful,” Pike then said.

Jim raised a brow in confusion as Pike continued, “It’s the way you described the survey of Nibiru in your captain’s log.”

Jim internally sighed. “Yes, sir.  It was uneventful and I didn’t want to waste your or Starfleet’s time going over the details.”

Pike nodded, looking to Jim. “What about this volcano? Wasn’t it highly volatile? Could wipe out the planet if it were to erupt?”

Jim felt some trepidation from his mate beside him.  Jim glanced to Spock and saw he was gripping his hat tightly at his side.  Jim then looked back to Pike who was waiting for his response.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t erupt then, sir.” Jim then said, still feeling Spock’s uneasiness. 

_Spock, you alright?_ Jim asked through their bond.

“Something tells me it won’t,” Pike then said, sitting up straight in his seat.

Spock looked down to the floor then glanced to Jim who replied to Pike’s comment. 

_Jim, please cease speaking,_ Spock said.

_Why?_ Jim said as he finished replying to Pike.

Spock shook his head and spoke up, “I take full responsibility for the mission, Admiral.”

“I know you do, Mr. Spock. I read your full report explaining about the cold fusion device and that it was your fault that Jim had the Nirbians, a civilization that has barely invented the wheel, see a starship rising out of their ocean!”

Jim looked to Spock, “You filed a report? Why didn’t you tell me?”

Spock met his gaze, his eyes apologetic. “I incorrectly assumed that you would be truthful in your captain’s log. I took full…”

“I would’ve been truthful if I didn’t have to save your ass.”

“And I am grateful that you did as evidence by our talk last night. Captain, Jim, I took responsibility for all subsequent actions due to your motivations to save me,” Spock said.

“Yeah and now you’re throwing me under the bus, Pointy.”

“Name-calling is illogical. I am willing to accept the consequences to fall on me, thus my report’s contents.”

Jim opened his mouth to continue arguing but Pike had enough and stood up from his desk.

“I don’t need a lover’s quarrel in my office, Gentlemen,” Pike said.  “Starfleet’s mandate is to explore and observe, not to interfere.”

“Had the mission gone according to plan, Admiral, the Nibirans would never have known our interference.”

“Spock, enough,” Pike said sternly. “That’s a technicality.”

“I am Vulcan, sir. We embrace technicality.”

“For someone who just spent ten minutes in the supply closet downstairs with his husband, you sure do have an attitude, Mr. Spock.”

Jim’s cheeks tinted pink as he looked to the floor while Pike and Spock had a stare off.

“To what attitude are you referring to?” Spock said.  “Admiral, I merely am expressing my wish to take respons…”

“Out,” Pike interrupted.

“Admiral…”

"Dismissed, Commander.  Wait outside while I have words with Captain Kirk.”

Spock faltered for a moment, glancing from Pike to Jim before nodding his head and leaving.  Jim lifted his gaze from the floor and looked straight ahead.

“Do you have any idea what a pain in the ass you and Spock are?” Pike asked.

Jim nodded, “Yes, sir.”

“So tell me what you did wrong. What’s the lesson to be learned here?”

Jim wanted to retort to never trust a Vulcan but instead said, “I lied in my official captain’s log.”

_Tell him that I will accept the consequen…_ Spock tried to say through their bond.

_You’ve done enough, Spock,_ Jim said before blocking his husband.

“Yes, you did,” Pike agreed moving to stand in front of Jim. “You think the rules don’t apply to you because you disagree with them.”

“Isn’t that why you talked me into signing up in the first place? You gave me your ship.”

“I gave you my ship because I saw greatness in you and now…”

 “The father of my kids was about to die. I couldn’t let that happen.”

“I know and I understand, but you don’t lie about it. You also don’t risk your first officer’s life in the first place.  What was the mission, Jim? Survey the planet not alter its destiny. You violated a dozen Starfleet regulations and almost got everyone under your command killed.”

“I didn’t, though!” Jim replied a little loudly. “No one got hurt, not even Spock in that damn volcano. I haven’t lost a single crew member since I’ve…”

“And that’s your problem!” Pike interrupted, louder than Jim was speaking.  “You think you’re infallible. You think you can’t make a mistake or that the rules don’t apply to you or Spock.”

“Some rules shouldn’t apply…” Jim tried but Pike spoke over him. “And what’s worse is that you are using blind luck and putting everyone on your ship in danger.  Forget if something happens to Spock, what if something happens to Xander or Soren?”

Jim breathed in and looked away from Pike.  He would never do anything to put his sons in jeopardy.  Pike was quiet for a moment and let what he said sink in with Jim.

“Given the circumstances, this has been brought to Admiral Marcus’ attention,” Pike finally said. “He convened a special meeting that I had to talk my way into. You know what the Starfleet mandate for this type of situation is?”

_Demotion,_ Jim thought.  He felt Spock pick up on it but he kept the block in place.

“He wanted you back at the Academy, Jim.  That’s what he was going to order, but I convinced him otherwise.”

Jim tried to keep his eyes from watering. 

“Since bonded couples can’t be separated, you’ve been demoted to Commander while I take over command of the Enterprise.  Spock has been demoted as well and will serve only as Chief Science Officer while you’re First Officer.”

“Sir…”

“Jim, you don’t respect the chair. You’re not ready for it.”

Jim reluctantly nodded. 

“Marcus also wants Xander and Soren off the ship for a while.  You and Spock will have to see if Amanda and Sarek can watch them for a few months.”

Jim nodded again.  Pike dismissed him to send Spock in and Jim walked quickly for the door.  He opened it and walked past his husband who tried stopping him.

“Jim, please…” Spock tried going after his mate but Pike called Spock back into the office.  Spock clenched his fists and watched the retreating back of his beloved and knew the situation has extended beyond his control.


	4. Under Fire

Jim was blocking him and Spock have no idea where his mate had disappeared to after the meeting with Pike.  Spock had gone to their apartment and found that Jim had changed out of his formal attire but left no note on where he was. 

Spock then wandered to the park and located his mother and sons near a playground.  As he approached he saw his mother sitting on the edge of a sand box while Xander and Soren played.  He came to them and sat down next to his mother.

“Spock, what are you doing here?” Amanda asked as Spock took his hat off and placed it on top of Xander’s head. “Where is Jim?”

Xander looked up to the hat and laughed. He took it off his head and placed it on the sand in between him and his brother.

“I do not know,” Spock replied.  “He is blocking me.”

Amanda looked her son over and sighed. “What happened?”

“We were both demoted because of our actions on the last mission.  Admiral Pike has taken over command of the Enterprise.”

“Demoted?”

Spock nodded, watching his sons put sand in the hat.  “Lieutenant Commander Spock, Chief Science Officer and Commander Jim Kirk, First Officer of the Enterprise.”

“What happened to get you demoted?”

Spock internally sighed then explained what had happened with Nibiru. Afterwards his mother reached out and pinched his ear.

“Mother,” Spock sighed waving his hand to her away from his ear.

“You were in a volcano? What the hell were you thinking?”

“Mother…”

Amanda shook her head. “I don’t blame the admiralty for demoting you.  It’s sad but…I understand.  You and Jim are smart and tough…you two will be back to your old positions in no time I’m sure.”

“As do I. I tried taking full responsibly but that did not turn out well.  Mother, there was…another stipulation to our demotion.”

“What is it?”

Spock looked to his sons, happily playing in the sand. “The boys will not be permitted on the Enterprise for a while.”

“Oh no. No…what…for how long?”

“They did not specify,” Spock said a little sadly.  He looked to his mother. “Would you and father…”

“Yes, Spock,” Amanda told him. “We’ll look after them but…Spock, the boys need you and Jim.”

Spock nodded as Xander stood up and presented his hat back to him, completely filled with sand.  Spock allowed a small smile as he took the hat. “Thank you.” 

“Where do you think Jim would go?” Amanda asked.

Spock went to shrug but then thought of something.

* * *

 

Jim sat at the bar with his arms crossed on the bar top and his head resting on them.  He stared at the glass that had been poured for him by the bartender.  He didn’t know why he’d come to the bar. He didn’t want to drink; he just wanted some alone time before he went back to the apartment to play with his sons.

He sighed and thought he had screwed up with the Nibiru mission.  He shouldn’t’ve allowed Spock to go into the volcano among other things.

_Should’ve, would’ve, could’ve,_ Jim thought.  He then felt a hand on his shoulder and turned his head to see a grinning guy standing there.

“Hey, cutie,” the man said.

Jim rolled his eyes and looked away. “Taken.”

“If you were taken then why are you here alone?”

Jim turned back and was about to reply when another hand clapped him on his other shoulder. 

“He’s with me so beat it,” Jim heard Pike’s voice say.

Jim smiled and waved to the man as he left Jim alone.  Pike removed his hand and sat in the bar stool next to him.  Jim looked to Pike and raised a brow.

“Ew,” Jim said.

“Ew indeed but how else was I supposed to get that creep to leave.”

“Tell him I have a Vulcan husband.”

“I doubt he would’ve believed that,” Pike replied.  “Now why are you here in a bar and not with your sons?”

“I’m not drinking, Chris.  I just wanted some alone time and I’m mad at Spock. How did you find me by the way?”

“I know you better than you think I do.  In fact, the first time we met was in a dive like this back in Iowa. You got your ass kicked.”

Jim shook his head, “No, I didn’t. That is totally not what happened.”

“It was an epic beating.”

“Nope.”

“You were beaten and bloodied on top of a table.  You had to shove toilet paper up your nose to stop it from bleeding. Now is that not an epic beating?”

Jim snorted, “Okay that was a good fight.”

Pike shook his head. “Would you consider it a good fight if in twenty years one of the boys were involved in a fight like that?”

Jim looked to Pike and thought about it.  “No. Definitely wouldn’t want them in a situation like that.  Chris, I wasn’t in a good place then…”

“I know, Jim. I know,” Pike said, reaching out and placing a hand on Jim’s back. “You’ve come a long way since then and I believe in you, son.”

Jim gave Pike small smile.

“When I went to Marcus about you just being demoted, I told him that if anybody deserves a second chance, it’s Jim Kirk.

Jim felt his eyes started to water slightly so he looked away and calmed himself. He’d always felt drawn to Pike as a father figure and when the man said stuff like that Jim just wanted to hug the crap out of him.  Jim rubbed a hand over one eye then looked back to Pike. He didn’t know what to say to him.

Pike raised a brow then chuckled. “I think that’s a first…you not talking.”

Jim huffed out a light laugh and nodded.

Pike rubbed his back. “It’s going to be okay, son.  Maybe a year of this and you’ll be back to captaining the enterprise with Spock by your side.”

“Eh, you can keep Spock.”

“I would rather be by my husband’s side,” Spock’s voice came from behind them.  They both turned and saw Spock standing there with Amanda the boys in tow.

“Why are my sons in a bar?” Jim questioned as Soren and Xander waved at Pike.

“PawPaw!”

“We are here because you are, ashayam,” Spock said. 

“Also the boys have been asking for their daddy,” Amanda added.

Jim nodded and got off the bar stool and picked up Soren and held him while Xander went to Pike.

“Hi, PawPaw,” Xander said.

Pike smiled at the boy then reached down, picked him up and settled him on his knee.  “Did you and your brother have a good birthday?”

Xander nodded as Spock came to stand next to Jim. 

_Jim, please may we speak?_

_No._

_T’hy’la…_

_Spock, this isn’t the time or place._

“Chris, I understand my little boys will not be allowed on the Enterprise anymore,” Amanda spoke up, coming to stand in front of the admiral. “That is not acceptable. They need their dads.”

Chris sighed and nodded.  He then looked at Amanda and gave a small smile. “I know that, Amanda. I do.  I am trying to get Admiral Marcus to reconsider.  I think this arrangement with the boys will just be for a month.”

“Still a long time without the boys,” Jim muttered, cuddling Soren. 

Just then Chris’ communicator chimed. Spock moved to him and took Xander from his lap as Chris pulled his comm from his pocket.

_Jim, please…_ Spock tried again but Jim shook his head. 

“Emergency session, Daystrom,” Pike said, before closing his comm.  He looked up to Jim. “That’s us, Jim. Suit up and meet me at Headquarters.”

* * *

 

After taking the boys back to the apartment and getting his formal uniform back on, Jim hugged his boys then left.  He had hoped that Spock would’ve stayed behind with Amanda and the boys but no. His husband followed him all the way to headquarters.

“I wish to talk,” Spock said for the umpteenth time.

“Now is not the time,” Jim said as he quickly got into the elevator hoping it would shut before Spock got it.  Jim sighed when it didn’t. 

Spock stood facing him in the elevator while Jim faced the door. “Jim.”

“No.”

“Jim, you have stated on multiple occasions how it hurts you when I close off the bond and shut you out.  You are now doing the same to me.”

Jim closed his eyes. Spock was right. He opened them as the elevator doors opened.  He glanced to Spock and inclined his head for him to follow.  Jim walked them over to an area by the door, out of the way from the shuffling of Starfleet personal rushing about.

“Spock, I saved your life, you wrote a report without telling me, and I lost my ship and the boys.”

Spock looked down and nodded. “It was not my intention…”

“I know, Spock. You meant well, but…why you didn’t tell me? What more could you say besides ‘sorry’?”

Spock looked back up to his mate’s blue eyes.  He opened his mouth but then closed it.  Jim could feel Spock’s sadness through their bond.

“Okay, fine. We’ll talk, Spock, but not now.”

“That is acceptable.  I will wait downstairs until the meeting is complete.”

Jim nodded then noticed some specks of something on Spock’s shoulder.  He furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion.  He reached a hand out and brushed the specks off.

“Is that…why do you have sand on you?”

Spock sighed, “The boys put sand in my hat and gave it to me.  When I did not put it on they took it back and tried to put it on my head.  They were not successful at that but did get sand on my person anyway.”

Jim broke out in a smile, his eyes twinkling in amusement. _Such terrors._

He met Spock’s gaze and arched a brow at seeing his mate looking at him in awe.  “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I have not seen your smile in seven point three hours.  I have missed it.”

Jim’s eyes softened and he smiled again at his mate.

“James,” Pike’s voice called from the doorway of the conference room.

Jim looked to Pike and nodded as the man indicated it was time to go in.  He looked back to Spock. “I’ll meet you downstairs when the meeting is over.”

Spock held two fingers out for a Vulcan kiss and lit up inside when Jim met it.  His mate smiled at him again before turning and following after Pike into the room.  Spock waited until the doors shut then made his way back downstairs.  He found a spot near the elevator and waited. He was going to attempt some meditation but Jim opened their bond and started telling him what was going on in the meeting.

Spock arched a brow and concentrated on Jim.  Listening as Jim went on about an explosion in London at a Starfleet data archive and someone named John Harrison. Jim was thinking about the archive and why Harrison would attack it.  Spock was about to respond when Jim suddenly went quiet.

_Jim?_

_He’s here!_ Jim shouted through their bond before Spock heard explosions and felt the building rattle.

_T’hy’la!_ Spock thought before standing and rushing towards the stairs.  He and some security officers high tailed it up the conference room floor and came upon the room.  Spock paused momentarily at seeing a jumpship hovering outside the building, firing into the room.

_Spock! You here?_

_Yes._

_I’ll try and get the ship away.  Help inside the room!_

_Affirmative,_ Spock replied before rushing into the room.

* * *

 

Spock managed to drag a few officers out of the room who were hurt before running back in the room, ducking from the firing.  He found Pike on the floor, barely conscious and picked him up.  He rushed out of the room and gently laid the man on the ground and looked him over.

Pike was bleeding from a nasty wound in his side and bleeding a little from his mouth; his face scrunched up in pain.  Spock heard the firing stop as he reached to Pike’s meld points to help ease the man’s pain.  He was bombarded with feelings he had not experienced since his home planet was destroyed.  Spock closed his eyes and pushed that away, trying to help Pike’s pain.  He opened his eyes as he felt the man starting to slip away.  Spock turned his head and saw medics storming in the area.  He removed his hand, slowly breaking the meld, and waved over several of the medics just as Jim came towards them. 

Through their bond, Spock felt his mate’s sudden anger and heartbreak. He stood up and as Jim stepped forward.

“He will not…” Spock tried to say but Jim shook his head and tried getting to Pike but Spock held him back.

“I need to…” Jim fussed, his eyes watering up. Spock kept him back so the medics could tend to Pike.

“Jim…”

“No! I need…” Jim tried again, choking up as the medics placed Pike onto a stretcher and started carrying him away.  Jim saw both medics looking gloomy and shaking their heads.  Jim clenched his fists into Spock’s uniform then broke down while his husband held him tight.


	5. Keeping The Boys Safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the next chapter a few days early! I decided to post it today because I am so excited! Going to the Star Trek Ultimate Voyage Concert in a few hours!!! Yay!

Jim hugged both boys in bed the next morning.  He had only changed out of his formal suit jacket when he and Spock had trudged home a few hours ago. Jim had immediately picked up both boys from their beds and took them to his and laid down with them. 

He opened his eyes and smiled at the beautiful sights next to him.  He gently ran his hands through the boys’ blonde locks before kissing each of their foreheads. He carefully got out of bed as to not wake them and made his way into the kitchen where Amanda and Spock were sitting at the small dinner table.

Amanda gave him a small smile as he made himself a cup of coffee.

“Any news?” Jim asked.

“Admiral Marcus is holding meetings and strategy sessions trying to figure out where Harrison has gone,” Spock replied. “Mr. Scott is going through the jumpship’s wreckage for clues.”

“And…and Pike?”

Spock looked away. “Doctor McCoy…” Spock trailed off which irritated Jim.

Jim turned to Spock, “What? Spock, if he’s dead just tell me alright.”

“He’s not, Jim,” Amanda spoke up.  Her eyes teared up a bit. “But Leonard does not believe he will last more than a day or so.”

Jim’s shoulders sagged, and he nodded.

“Jim, is there anything I can do?” Amanda asked, standing up and coming to stand in front of her son-in-law.

Jim was about to shake his head but then didn’t. “Yeah….yeah can you take the boys to New Vulcan.”

“Jim…” Spock tried but Amanda spoke up. “Of course.”

Jim nodded and then turned and left the room.  Spock followed after him as he went into the boys’ room and pulled out their little suitcases.

“Jim, explain.”

“Harrison is somewhere, Spock.  The…the way he looked at me in the jumpship…it was off.  I want the boys somewhere safe.”

Spock nodded, feeling his mate’s distress leaking through their bond.  Their sons’ safety was their top priority at the moment.  “They will be safe with my parents and counterpart on Vulcan.”

Jim gave Spock a weak smile. “I know.  Hell hath no fury like Amanda if anything happens to her babies.”

“Indeed,” Spock replied before helping his mate pack their sons’ suitcases.

* * *

 

Amanda was able to procure a vessel to Vulcan fairly quickly.  She had notified Sarek, who had pulled some much needed strings and an hour later, Jim and company stood on the shuttle dock.  Jim knelt down in front of his boys and smiled at them, trying to not cry.

“You two are going on a trip with Nana,” Jim told them, his voice starting to shake. 

“You go too?” Xander asked, pouting

“Yeah, you and dada come too,” Soren added, also pouting.

Jim smiled a little sadly and shook his head. “No.  Dada and I have to stay and work on something very important.”

“We can help,” Soren said before reaching into his pocket and presenting Jim’s communicator.

Jim chuckled, taking it from his son.  “Thank you.  I know you two can be big helps, but dada and I need you to go with Nana.  You get to see New Vulcan and play with some sehlats.”

Xander and Soren’s faces lit up. “Sehlats!”

Jim smiled bigger but still was sad. “Yeah sehlats!”  Jim then opened his arms and pulled his sons into a big hug. “Dada and I will miss you boys so much while you’re away, but we’ll come for you as soon as we can.”

The boys hugged their daddy back before Jim released them.  “Give me kisses then go give dada big hugs, okay?”

“Okay,” they both said before giving their daddy kisses.  They then turned to Spock and opened their arms.  Jim stood up as Spock knelt down and proceeded to tell them how much he’d miss them as well.

Jim looked to Amanda. “Keep them safe, please.”

“You know I will,” she replied before hugging Jim.  “You be safe and keep Spock safe as well.”

“Of course.  I promise no volcanoes.”

Amanda chuckled then pulled back as Spock finished hugging the twins. “I will contact you once we’re safely on New Vulcan.”

Jim nodded.  She smiled at him again before turning to her son and hugging him. She whispered into his ear: “Keep an eye on Jim, Spock.  I’m worried.”

“As am I, mother.”

* * *

 

After seeing the boys and Amanda off, Jim and Spock turned and headed for headquarters.  They were almost there when Jim’s communicator chimed. He saw it was Scotty and that he had news.  Spock and Jim exchanged a look before rushing off to where Scotty was.

* * *

 

“Captain!” Scotty called out as Jim and Spock ran towards him.  “I found this in the wreckage of the jumpship.”

Jim and Spock came to a stop in front of their friend and looked to what Scotty had in his hands.  It was some rectangular contraption that neither of them recognized.

“What is it?” Jim asked.

“It’s a portable transwarp beaming device,” Scotty said.  “That’s how the bastard got away.”

“Can you figure out where he went?” Spock asked.

“I already did,” Scotty replied. “You’re not gonna like it, though.” Scotty pressed a button on the device and showed Jim and Spock the coordinates that popped up. “He’s gone to the one place we cannot go.”

_Fuck,_ Jim thought.

* * *

 

After the news from Scotty, Jim and Spock made a beeline for headquarters and where Marcus was having meetings.  They burst into the room and Jim immediately started talking.

“He’s not on Earth anymore, Admiral,” Jim said, coming up to Admiral Marcus.  “He’s on Kronos, sir. I request that my captaincy be reinstated and your permission to go after him.”

Marcus looked at Jim then nodded for the other occupants in the room to leave for a minute.  He motioned for Jim and Spock to follow him over to his desk where he stood behind it and looked at them.

“Kronos?” Marcus said.

“Yes, sir,” Spock replied.

“So Harrison’s gone to the Klingon home world. Is he defecting?”

“We’re not sure,” Jim said.

“He has taken refuge in the Ketha Province,” Spock added.  “A region that has been uninhabited for decades.”

“He’s hiding there,” Jim spoke up. “Starfleet can’t go anywhere near Klingon space or else it’ll be all-out war and he knows that. _I_ can go after him, not Starfleet.”

Spock looked to his mate, arching a brow. 

Marcus sighed “A war with the Klingons is inevitable.”  He explained that the London archives wasn’t an archive but a secret branch designated Section 31 and that they were developing defense technology and training officers to gather intelligence on Klingons and any other enemy.

_A secret branch…that is not right,_ Spock thought as Marcus finished his explanation.

“Harrison was one of our top agents,” Marcus finished.

 “Well now he’s a fugitive and I want to take him out,” Jim said coldly.  Spock looked to his mate in slight shock.

_Jim._

Marcus smiled at Jim. “Pike always said you were one of the best and brightest.” Marcus then looked to Spock. “You said the province is uninhabited?”

“Affirmative, sir,” Spock replied.

Marcus was quiet for a moment then he pressed a button on his desk. “As part of our defensive strategy, section 31 developed a new photon torpedo.” Marcus motioned to the hologram model of the torpedo that had appeared.  He then told Jim what his mission would be: park on the edge of the neutral zone, fire and kill Harrison then haul ass home.

Jim nodded then asked, “Permission to reinstate Spock as my first officer.”

“Granted.”

* * *

 

Jim suited up and walked through the shuttle station and headed for his shuttle to the Enterprise.  He kept his head down but looked up when he heard some call his name.  Bones jogged over to him and started walking with him to the shuttle.

“You needed to get a medical exam, Jim,” Bones said.

“I’m fine, Bones.”

“You were just in a damn firefight.  It is my duty as ship’s…”

“Bones, I’m fine.”

“The hell you are,” Bones fussed, grabbing Jim’s arm and turning his friend around to face him.  Bones looked him over as Jim internally sighed.

“I’m fine,” Jim told his friend for the third time.  He then turned and walked up in to the shuttle and took a seat near Spock, leaving a space in between them. “Status report, Mr. Spock.”

“Our ship should be ready to launch by the time we arrive,” Spock told his mate as Bones walked by Jim to a seat behind them.  Spock looked to the doctor and arched a brow.  Bones shrugged then started running a tricorder over Jim through the space between the seats.

“Thank you for requesting my reinstatement, Captain,” Spock added.

Jim gave his mate a smile. “It’s not like I can just leave your ass behind, right?”

Spock nodded then spoke again. “As I am now your first officer again, it is my duty to object to our mission parameters.”

Jim huffed, “Of course.”

“Captain, there is no Starfleet regulation that condemns a man to die without a trial.  You and Admiral Marcus seem to be forgetting that.  Also, firing torpedoes at the Klingon home world goes against…”

“Spock, you said the area was uninhabited,” Jim interrupted. “Only one casualty and our orders have nothing to do with Starfleet regulation.”

Bones paused in evaluating Jim and looked between his friends. “Wait wait wait…we’re firing torpedoes at the Klingons?”

Spock ignored the doctor and continued talking to Jim. “Regulations aside, Captain, this action is morally wrong.”

“I pulled your ass out of a volcano which was morally right and I didn’t win anything for that,” Jim snapped.

“Jim, calm down,” Bones said, noticing Jim’s vitals were acting up.

“I’m not going to take ethics lessons from a robot,” Jim continued.

“You are name-calling which suggests you are defensive and find my opinion valid.”

“Spock, I wasn’t asking for any opinion,” Jim said before feeling Bones stick something on his face.  He turned his head and glared at his friend. Bones looked away and pulled the thing off Jim’s face.

“Captain, Jim,” Spock tried again. “This mission could start a war with the Klingons and it is immoral.  Perhaps you should take some time to come to this conclusion yourself.”

Jim internally groaned and went to reply to Spock when he heard a woman’s voice say, “Captain Kirk.”

Jim looked from Spock to see a pretty blonde woman standing before him in Starfleet attire. She smiled at him and held out a PADD.

“Science Officer Wallace, sir.  I have been reassigned to the Enterprise by Admiral Marcus.  Here are my transfer orders,” the woman said, smiling at Jim.  Spock narrowed his eyes and looked to his mate.

“You requested another science officer?” Spock asked. _Why, Jim?_

“I didn’t but I wish I had,” Jim retorted, taking the PADD and reading it over. “Lieutenant Carol Wallace…”

Spock gripped his arms rests as Jim read the officer’s credentials. _Carol…a Carol had a son with his counterpart’s Jim…unacceptable._

“Impressive credentials,” Jim said, nodding.

“They are redundant now that I am aboard,” Spock nearly growled.

Jim smiled wryly at Spock, knowing his mate was getting jealous. “More the merrier, Spock.” Jim then turned to Carol. “Have a seat, Doctor.”

Carol smiled back and went to sit in the seat between Spock and Jim but Spock growled and quickly moved over into the seat. Carol startled back, her eyes wide as Jim looked to Spock in shock.

“You don’t growl at people like that, Spock,” Jim said.

“Lieutenant Wallace, perhaps it would be best to sit elsewhere,” Spock said to Carol, ignoring Jim.

Carol nodded as Jim kept staring at his mate.  Carol moved behind them and sat next to Bones.

“He does that to everyone,” Bones told her. 

She smiled and nodded.

Spock glanced to her sitting behind Jim and narrowed his eyes.  She blinked and looked away.

_Jim is mine,_ Spock thought before facing forward and taking Jim’s hand in his.

_Spock, no,_ Jim tried taking his hand back but Spock kept a firm grip. _Captain’s orders, Spock, release my hand._

_No, you are mine,_ Spock growled as the shuttle headed off.  Jim kept trying to get his Vulcan husband to release his hand but gave up after a few moments.


	6. A Resignation, A New Red Shirt, and Lipstick

Jim fumed as he exited the shuttle and onto the Enterprise.  He’d put up with Spock’s possessive enough so he yanked his hand away.

“Jim,” Spock tried but Jim narrowed his eyes at him.

“Report to the bridge, Commander,” Jim ordered in his captain’s voice.  Spock nodded then turned on his heel and walked away. 

“Jim, you need to calm…” Bones tried but Jim turned to him and told him to report to medbay. 

As Bones walked away Jim heard Scotty’s fussing nearby.  Jim sighed and turned to deal with his chief engineer.

* * *

 

“Scotty, sign for the damn torpedoes, that’s an order,” Jim argued with his chief engineer after Scotty had gone on about the warp core and a chain reaction having to do with the torpedoes and their unknown payload.

“Jim, we’re explorers! This…this isn’t right. This is a military operation.”

“Sign for the torpedoes,” Jim ordered again.

Scotty stared at his captain then slightly shook his head. “Right.  Well, Captain, you leave me with no choice. I resign. I cannot sign for these torpedoes, Jim, it’s not right.  This whole thing is not right and you know it.”

_He’s right, he’s right,_ Jim mentally fussed, but he had to stop Harrison. He had to make him pay. “Scotty, just sign…”

“I will not, Jim, now do you accept my resignation or not?”

Jim looked to the warp core then nodded. “I do.”  He looked back to his friend, his blue eyes sad. “I do, Scotty.  You are relieved.”

Scotty sucked in a breath then nodded.  Jim hoped he didn’t cry, he didn’t know if he could handle his friend crying in front of him at the moment.  Scotty nodded again then stepped closer to Jim, handing him the PADD he was holding. 

“Just…don’t fire those torpedoes, Jim. Whatever you do, don’t use them.”

Jim remained silent and just stared at his friend.  Scotty’s eyes bore into him for a few seconds before he turned and walked away.  Jim watched him go then felt a tug on his wrist.  He looked down and saw Keenser standing there, holding a PADD out to him as well.

“You too?” Jim asked.

“Scotty is right,” Keenser said before walking after his friend. 

Jim internally sighed and cursed himself before turning and heading for his quarters to change and then report to the bridge.

* * *

 

Several minutes later, Jim entered the turbolift and found Uhura already standing there.  Jim gave her a small smile and pressed the button for the lift to take them to the bridge. 

“Lieutenant,” Jim greeted her.

“Captain, I’m so sorry about Pike,” Uhura responded. “McCoy says…”

“He’s not going to make it,” Jim finished a little coldly before looking to Uhura and apologizing. “Sorry, it’s just been a long day or so.”

“I understand.  How are the boys?”

“Away from everything with Amanda.”

“That’s good.” Uhura said then paused for a moment before adding, “Couldn’t’ve sent Spock away too?”

Jim grinned as Uhura shook her head and crossed her arms over her chest.

“Sorry, Sir, that wasn’t appropriate.”

“Nah, its fine.  Look, he and I talked about the volcano thing and we were good but then we got in trouble because he filed that damned report. Now he’s second guessing me every chance he gets.”

“Don’t you just want to rip the bangs off his head sometimes?” Uhura asked.

Jim huffed out a light laugh as the turbolift doors opened to reveal Spock standing there.  He raised a brow at both of them before Uhura walked past him without looking at him.  Jim chuckled as he brushed past Spock and walked towards Chekov.

_Jim?_ Spock forced through the barriers Jim had erected and asked his mate.

_Its nothing, Spock, just…guard your bangs around Uhura,_ Jim replied before shutting the bond down again.

“Ensign Chekov,” Jim said, leaning down next to the Russian’s chair. “You’ve been shadowing Scotty around in engineering, right?”

“Yes, Keptin,” Chekov smiled at him. “I have been learning a lot.”

“That’s good, because I’m promoting you to chief engineer.”

“Captain,” Jim heard Spock behind him. Jim waved him off though so Spock shut up but mentally poked his mate.  

“Keptin, where is Mister Scott?” Chekov asked a little hesitantly.

“Resigned, so go put on a red shirt and make sure my ship is ready to go.”

“Yes, Keptin.”

Jim patted him on the back and moved to his captain’s chair as Chekov left the bridge.  He sat down and took stock of everything that has happened in the fast few hours.  He shook his head then asked Sulu if the ship was ready for warp.  Sulu replied with an affirmative.  Jim nodded and then checked on Chekov in engineering before telling Sulu to punch it. 

When they were at warp and onto their destination, Jim opened a ship wide communication.

He closed his eyes for a moment and gathered his thoughts before opening his eyes and talking. “Attention crew of the Enterprise. As most of you know, former captain of this ship and our friend, Christopher Pike, was critically injured in an attack at Starfleet Headquarters.  He is not expected to make it.”  Jim paused there and breathed in and out before continuing, “John Harrison, the man responsible, has fled our system and taken refuge in the Ketha Province on the Klingon home world. We are on our way there now and it is crucial that our presence go undetected. Admiral Marcus has made it clear that tensions between the Federation and the Klingons are high and that any provocation could lead to an all-out war.”

Jim paused there.  He glanced back to his mate.  Spock was staring back, his brown eyes looking almost disappointed at him.  Jim faced forward and mentally sighed at the fact that his husband always had to be right about things. 

“For this mission, I will personally lead a landing party to an abandoned city on the surface of Qo'noS where we will capture the sonofabitch fugitive and return him to Earth so he can face judgement for his actions.  Kirk out.”

* * *

 

Spock managed to send a sliver of how pleased he was that his mate was choosing to do the right thing through their bond.  Spock then stood and walked to his mate’s chair and looked down at him.

“Captain, I believe you have made the right decision,” Spock said.

Jim looked up to him and gave him a small, sincere smile. “Yeah, well, I can only take so much of your sad puppy dog look.”

“I do not have such a look. Anyway, Captain, if I can be of assistance, I would be happy to accompany you on the away team.”

Jim nodded. “I’d like that.  You and Uhura will come with me along with a couple security officers.”

“Of course. May I be excused from the bridge to check on Mr. Chekov in engineering?”

“Yes, please do that.  Make sure he doesn’t break our ship.”

Spock reached a hand down to Jim’s and lightly ran two fingers along the back of Jim’s hand before turning and leaving the bridge.  He headed right down to engineering but bypassed the location Chekov would be to come stand behind Lieutenant Wallace as she looked over the torpedoes.

While Jim had been arguing with Scotty about the torpedoes, Spock had reported to the bridge and pulled up any and all information he could on Carol Wallace. Her presence on the ship was unnerving to him in more ways than one.

He arched a brow when she turned and jumped at seeing him. 

She smiled at him. “Mr. Spock, you startled me.”

“What are you doing, Doctor?” Spock asked, holding back a growl.

Carol kept her smile as she indicated the torpedo next to her. “I am verify that the torpedo’s internal…”

“No,” Spock interrupted. “You misunderstand.” Spock took a step closer to the blonde woman. “What are you doing aboard this ship?”

“I am…”

“There is no record of you being assigned to the Enterprise,” Spock interrupted again.

Carol’s smile faltered. “Really? That must be some sort of mistake, Commander.”

“My conclusion as well…Doctor Marcus.”

Carol’s smile completely faded and she looked to Spock in slight shock and confusion. “You just called me Doctor Marcus.”

“I did because that is your name. Carol Marcus.  You have lied about your identity. Wallace is your mother’s surname so it is logical to assume that Admiral Marcus is your father.”

Carol stepped close to Spock and looked up to him, her eyes pleading with him. “Mr. Spock, I am aware that I have no right to ask this of you, but please…he cannot know that I’m here.”

Spock thought of all the reasons he should tell her ‘no’, but his primal Vulcan inside him took over.  He nodded then said, “As long as you are clear that the Captain is mine, then I will keep my mouth shut on your parentage and your lying to get aboard this ship.”

Carol blinked then lightly chuckled. “Mr. Spock, everyone in Starfleet knows that you and Captain Kirk are married.”

“I am aware, but I still wish to hear that you will not try and seduce him.”

Carol’s eyes went wide. “I assure you, Sir, that I have absolutely no intention to do that.  I don’t even care for blondes. More into darker hair.”

Spock arched a brow. “If that was an attempt to seduce me then…” Spock abruptly stopped when the ship jerk, throwing him and Carol down, to the floor with Spock landing on top of her.

* * *

 

Jim was thrown to the floor from his chair when the ship suddenly dropped out of warp.  He picked himself up and stumbled to Sulu’s station.

“What happened?” Jim asked.

“Engineering, Sir,” Sulu replied. “We were manually dropped out of warp.”

Jim groaned and comm’d down to engineering. “Chekov, did you break my ship?”

“I do not zink so, Keptin. I do not know what happened. I had to hit the emergency stop because ze core overheated. I zink it must be a coolant leak, Sir, I just need time to find it. Sorry, Keptin.”

Jim shook his head and turned off the comm. “Fuck.”  He stood up straight and looked to Sulu. “How much longer until our destination?”

“About twenty minutes, Sir.”

“Twenty minutes in enemy space,” Jim sighed before turning towards Spock’s station.  His face turned quizzical as he looked from there to where Uhura was standing. “Where’s Spock?”

The doors to the bridge opened and Spock quickly walked in to stand next to Uhura. “Here, Captain.”

Jim nodded and walked closer to them before stopping and eyeing a mark on Spock’s neck.  “Is that…lipstick on you?”

Uhura turned her head and caught a glance of the lipstick just as Spock slapped a hand to his neck and wiped away the smudge.

“No, sir. As I was down in engineering…”

Jim shook his head. “Nuh-uh, save it, because that was lipstick.  Look, we need to get going now. Spock, you and Uhura are coming with me to Qo'noS. Uhura, how’s your Klingon.”

“Perfect, Captain,” she replied before crossing her arms over her chest. She glanced to Spock beside her and did not looked please that he was there. 

Jim raised a brow, realizing that she was ticked off with Spock.  “Uhura, will this be a problem? You two working together?  I mean, we’re all friends…”

“No, Sir,” she replied. “Everything is great.” Uhura then eyed Spock again before turning and walking off the bridge. 

Jim watched her leave before looking to his husband.

“I do not believe there will be any problems, Captain,” Spock insisted.  “I will meet you in shuttle bay.”

_And later we will be talking about that lipstick on you,_ Jim told him before nodding.  Spock looked like he wanted to say something else but instead turned and left the bridge.

Jim then turned to find Bones standing next to him.  Jim jumped slightly then groaned. “What the hell, Bones?”

“Jim, you can’t be serious about going down there?”

“Bones…”

"It's like robbing a bank with a getaway car that has a flat tire."

Jim sighed then comm’d engineering again. “Chekov, everything will be fixed and ready to go once I get back right?”

“Um…yes, Keptin.”

Jim disconnected the comm then turned to Sulu. “You have the conn. Once we’re on route, I want you to transmit a targeted comm burst to Harrison’s location. Tell him we have a bunch of torpedoes with his name on them and if he doesn’t play nice then you’re not afraid to use them.”

“Aye, Captain,” Sulu replied before glancing to the chair. “I can sit there, right?”

Jim chuckled. “Yes, the chair is yours, Sulu. You’re gonna do great.”

Sulu smiled. “Yes, sir.”

Jim went to leave but Bones stopped him and stepped into his space. “Jim, you just sat that man down at a highstakes poker game…”

“Dammit, Bones, enough metaphors.”


	7. Qo'noS

Jim entered his quarters and got dressed in a non-Starfleet outfit so that if apprehended by Klingons, he could plausibly deny being a part of the federation or Starfleet.  He sat on his bed and pulled on his boots before thinking of something.  He scooted over on the bed towards the bedside table and opened the drawer. 

He pulled out a small box he kept in the drawer and lift the lid to it. Inside was a small blue and green pendant that Spock had given to him a few years prior when they went on their first adventure. 

Jim took the pendent from the box and held it up in front of his face.  He smiled before pressing the middle of the pendant.  He listened to the sound of his sons’ heartbeats from when he was pregnant with them come from the pendent. He closed his eyes and concentrated on his bond with the twins and found they were well and content wherever they were with Amanda.  Jim opened his eyes and put the pendant around his neck before grabbing a jacket and heading for the shuttle bay.

* * *

 

Spock walked with Uhura, who was ignoring him, over to where Jim was standing next to the ship that had been confiscated during the Mudd incident.  Their captain was informing the two red-shirted crew members, Cupcake and another lieutenant, how they needed to change before the mission so they could deny they are with Starfleet.

Spock paused in his steps for a moment when Jim turned to him and Uhura. It pleased Spock to see that Jim was wearing the pendant around his neck.

Jim eyed him before looking away and heading into the ship. _Damn, you look good in those,_ Spock heard Jim quickly think before quieting the bond.

“You think…” Spock tried as he followed Jim into the ship, but Jim shook his head.

“Didn’t think anything, Commander,” Jim interrupted, sitting down in the main pilot seat.

“Then you do not find me pleasing in this attire?” Spock asked, sitting down in the seat to Jim’s left side.

Jim glanced to him over his shoulder. “Nope.”

Uhura snickered before sitting down to Jim’s right.  Spock internally sighed before tapping at the controls in front of him.

* * *

 

When the ship was entering the Klingon homeworld's atmosphere, Spock picked up a life sign in the Ketha Province.

“Captain, given the information provided by Mr. Scott, I believe this is Harrison,” Spock said, glancing to Jim and seeing him nod.

Jim pressed a button and comm’d Sulu. “I think we found him, Sulu.  Let him know you mean business.”

“Aye, Captain,” Sulu’s voice came back. They then listened to Sulu’s threat to Harrison which amused Spock and company.   

“He’ll make a good captain one day,” Jim commented.

“Who would be his first officer?” Uhura asked.

Jim chuckled. “Some plant most likely.”

Spock listened to his mate and friend laugh before he chimed in. “As a plant is not…” He stopped when he felt Jim and Uhura turn and look to him.  He turned his head and saw both were not amused by whatever he had to say. Spock looked away from them, knowing both were still angry at him.  He focused on his console.

* * *

 

After a few minutes, Spock spoke up. “We will arrive at Harrison’s location in three minutes, Captain. I believe it is unlikely that he will come willingly. The odds of him attempting to kill us is at 91.6%.”

“Fantastic,” Jim sighed.

“Good thing you don’t care about dying,” Uhura muttered but Jim and Spock heard.

Spock looked down to his lap, expecting Jim to agree with her but instead Jim groaned. Spock looked to his mate.

“I am getting sick of this,” Jim said turning towards Uhura. “Uhura, sweetie…” Uhura turned then and glared at Jim. Jim held his hand up in apology. “I will never call you that again.”

“Thank you.”

“Anyway, Uhura, I understand your anger with Pointy…”

“Captain,” Spock tried to interrupted but his mate just ignored him.

“I’m angry at him too, but for filing that damn report. We made up for the volcano thing and he had some good, albeit stupid, reasons for wanting to stay in the volcano so I forgive him.  You two have been friends for a while, longer than he and I have been together, but you should forgive him too.”

“What stupid reasons?” Uhura asked.

“Spock,” Jim spoke, signally his mate to be the one to do the explaining.

Spock allowed a brief pause before beginning his explanation. “I do care, Uhura, very deeply.  My reasons for wishing to stay in the volcano and blocking out Jim was to protect my mate and children. I could have died during the attempt to rescue me and I did not wish for Jim to bare the pain of not being able to save me and to be punished for violating the Prime Directive.  If I caused you any unnecessary anger or sadness at my decisions, then I apologize, Nyota.  I value your friendship and I do not wish to lose it, but the safety and welfare of my family come before my own.”

“See, good, albeit stupid reason,” Jim said.

“I accept your apology, Spock. I understand how important Jim and the boys are to you two,” Uhura told the Vulcan.  She then looked to Jim. “What about the lipstick, though, Captain?  I know you don’t wear any.”

Spock’s ears tinted green as he knew Jim had turned to look at him. 

“Yes, my husband, where did this lipstick come from?”

“Engineering…” Spock tried.

“Nope, try again,” Jim interrupted.

Spock sighed out loud. “Doctor Wallace.”

“Oooh,” Uhura said, knowing Spock was now in big trouble.

“Excuse me?” Jim asked, his voice slightly raised.  “You cheating?”

“Never,” Spock growled, turning towards Jim. “She is nothing compared to you.  I merely fell on top of her when I was telling her not to try and seduce you.”

“What?” Jim and Uhura exclaimed before their ship was suddenly hit, lurching them to the side a bit.

* * *

 

Jim set the ship down after an intense chase with a Klingon warbird led them into three more warbirds.  He wanted to try and overtake them but Uhura told him to let her speak Klingon. 

Jim agreed and opened the back hatch for her to step out.  He, Spock, and the lieutenants stayed in the ship and watch Uhura walk confidently towards the group of Klingons.

 “This isn’t going to work,” Jim said as they watched Uhura start talking.

“Be patient,” Spock told him.  “It is our only logical option and there is a small chance that Uhura will convince them that we are not Starfleet and mean no harm.”

“How small of a chance?” Jim asked, glancing to his mate.

“Eight point zero six percent.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Great.”

“If you wish to interrupt her, you will not only incur the wrath of the Klingons but that of Lieutenant Uhura as well.”

Jim clenched his fists. He did not like this at all.  He moved away from Spock and grabbed up three phasers from near the door.  Moving back to Spock, he sat one phaser next to his mate and handed the other lieutenant one.   He knelt down next to his husband and armed the phaser he was holding as Spock gave him a look.

“What?” Jim questioned. 

Spock’s response was reaching a finger out and pressing the middle of the pendant. 

Jim visibly calmed at hearing the heartbeats.  “Thanks.”

Spock nodded then looked back out the window to Uhura. 

They watched her and a Klingon speak for a moment then saw the Klingon grab Uhura by the jaw and lift her up.  Jim’s eyes went wide, but before he could run out firing, someone beat him to it.

* * *

 

Spock fired at the Klingon and ducked behind a large rock.  He listened to the sounds around him before hearing his husband’s distinct grunting from nearby.  Spock growled, knowing his mate was being harmed, and charged towards his mate’s sounds.  He fired at several Klingons who tried to stop him.

He turned a corner and found Jim just as a Klingon, who was standing over Jim, was shot by the mysterious man and fell to the ground.

_Ashayam,_ Spock thought before rushing to his mate and helping him up.  Uhura ran towards them and they ducked phaser fire and made to a relatively safe spot away from the Klingons. They all watched as masked, mysterious man and the Klingons fired at each other.

Spock grabbed a large Klingon phaser and held it as he crouched next to his mate, shielding him and Uhura from any attackers or stray phaser fire that may come towards them.

_Is this stranger helping us or going to kill us?_ Jim wondered as the man continued to single-handedly take down the Klingons, with phasers in each hand. 

The masked man then pulled down the cloth that was covering most of his face to reveal himself.  Jim stared in shock at seeing that it was Harrison standing there. Harrison threw down his weapons and made eye contact with Jim before jumping down and taking out several Klingons before grabbing a large phaser from the ground and advancing towards Jim, Spock, and Uhura.

Spock kept back a growl as he stood and pointed the gun at Harrison. “Stand down.”

“How many torpedoes?!” Harrison loudly asked Jim, ignoring Spock, and still advancing closer.

“Stand down!” Spock tried again only to have the gun shot out of his hands by Harrison.  Spock glared at the man and prepared to charge at him.

Harrison looked down to Jim and asked, “The torpedoes your message threatened me with…how many?”

Jim clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes up at Harrison.

“Seventy-two,” Spock spoke up, taking a step towards the fugitive.

Harrison was quiet for a moment. He looked from Spock to Jim and Uhura, then threw down his weapon and held his hands up, staring at Jim’s shocked face.

“I surrender.”

_Good,_ Spock thought before grabbing up Harrison’s weapon and pointing it at him. He glanced to Jim and saw the anger in his eyes, now that the initial shock wore off. 

Jim slowly got to his feet and stood before Harrison. “On behalf of Christopher Pike, my…father, I accept your surrender.”

Jim was about to order Harrison cuffed, but Harrison’s eyes twinkled at him in smug amusement.  Jim clenched his fists then started punching the man.  He quickly realized he was doing more harm to his fists then to Harrison, but his anger was greater than the pain in his hands. He grabbed Harrison around the neck and pulled him down as he kneed him a few times, but nothing seemed to hurt the fugitive. 

When Jim proceeded to repeatedly punch Harrison in the face, Spock tossed the gun to Uhura and went to his mate.  He grabbed him and pulled him away. Jim struggled to try and keep hitting Harrison but Spock’s hold on him was strong.

“Captain,” Spock said a little sternly.  _Enough, ashayam, enough,_ Spock forced through their bond as well as sending a feeling of calm to him. He knew his mate was moments away from breaking down as Jim relaxed and let Cupcake put Harrison in cuffs. 

Harrison looked Jim over and smirked slightly before saying, “Captain.”

Jim breathed hard through his nose as Uhura, Cupcake, and the other lieutenant led Harrison back to the ship.  Jim watched Harrison board the ship as Spock released his hold of him.

Jim lifted one sore hand to touch his pendant but found it wasn’t around his neck.  Jim panicked and started looking around on the ground.

“My boys…” Jim’s voice shook as he tried looking for his pendant, quickly moving around the area and searching for it. 

Spock tried to get Jim to stop, shaking his head at his mate. “We do not have time to locate it, Jim.  I will procure you another one.”

Jim’s panic didn’t subside as he continued to frantically look for the pendant. “The boys…”

“Our sons are well, t’hy’la,” Spock told him.  Jim ignored him, his panic getting worse.  Spock sighed before advancing on his mate, grabbing him and pulling him in for a kiss.  

Jim’s eyes went wide and he stiffened before he gradually relaxed into the kiss. Spock brought a hand up to the back of Jim’s neck and gently rubbed his fingers through the hair of Jim’s nape. Jim moved his hands up and fisted them into Spock’s jacket as they continued their gentle and loving kiss.

Spock broke the kiss and rested his forehead against Jim’s.  Jim’s breathing evened out as his panic subsided.

“Our sons are well,” Spock said softly. “Mother has them somewhere safe, I assure you.  The pendant is replaceable, you are not.”

Jim closed his eyes. “I know, I know.  I just…”

“I understand, ashal-veh,” Spock finished. He moved back slightly and kissed Jim’s forehead before pulling away completely.

Jim gave him a light smile, the corners of his mouth lifting up slightly. “Why is it so hard to stay mad at you?”

“You find me cute.”

Jim huffed out a laugh before shaking his head and heading towards the ship. “We still need to talk about the lipstick.”

“We will once we have returned John Harrison to Earth,” Spock told him, following his captain back to ship.

Jim nodded in response before schooling his expression to that of an authoritative captain who was in control as he boarded the ship. He cast a quick glare towards Harrison before taking his seat and starting up the ship.


	8. James Tiberius Perfect Hair

As soon as they returned to the Enterprise with their prisoner, they  met with several security officers in red shirts.  Cupcake and the other lieutenant handed Harrison over and then they all walked through the  engineering division and towards the brig.  

Jim pulled out his communicator,  informed Bones to meet him in the brig as soon as could and waited for an affirmative response before closing the communication.  Jim then paused and let the security team walk on.  He turned to Uhura. 

“Contact Starfleet, Lieutenant,” Jim told her. “Let them know that we have Harrison in custody and once the warp core is repaired, we’ll be on our way.”

“Yes, Sir,” Uhura replied.  Jim nodded then turned and continued walking. 

Spock went to follow but Uhura stopped him.  He turned to her and arched a brow. “If you plan to lecture me about the volcano incident or Doctor Wallace…”

“No, Spock,” she interrupted.  “As much as I’d like to know about what you were doing with her, I actually wanted to apologize for my shitty behavior to you earlier.”

“Apologies are unnecessary, Uhura. I understand you were cross with me and your behavior was justified.”

Uhura smiled. “You can’t just let someone say ‘I’m Sorry’, can you?”

“Perhaps not.”

“Spock, I also wanted to say that you need to keep an eye on Kirk.”

Spock glanced to Jim and saw his mate was standing near the turbolift watching them.  

“Spock, I need to see you in our quarters,” Jim called. 

Spock nodded then looked back to his friend. “Thank you for your concern. I will, indeed, be keeping an eye on him.” He then turned and walked to his mate and entered the lift with him. 

* * *

Jim entered their quarters first and immediately started stripping out of his outfit.  Spock picked up after him and followed the now naked Jim into the bathroom where Jim went to the shower.   He turned to Spock and gave him a small smile. 

“I’m going to jump in the sonic for a moment,” Jim told him. “You’re kind of dirty as well…care to join me?”

Spock deposited the dirty clothes into the hamper then arched a brow. “You wish to engage in sexual relations?”

Jim laughed.  “Wasn’t thinking about sex, Spock, just thought it would be easier for us to share a shower. But now that you mention it, a quickie would be great for my nerves right now.  Your nerves too probably. If you want to that is?”

Spock started undoing his jacket as he approached his mate. “If I ever say ‘no’ to coitus with you, please fire me out of an air lock.”

Jim grinned and when Spock was close enough, started helping him to undress. “Ditto, Spock.”

Spock then growled and gathered Jim up in his arms, kissing him passionately then carrying him into the shower.

* * *

Jim and Spock met Bones outside the brig and found their friend looked slightly grumpier than usual.  

“You said meet me here as soon as you could,” Bones huffed when they got close to him. “That was ten minutes ago.”

“Sorry,” Jim said.  “Got a little caught up with something.”

“Right. Don’t wanna know.”

“You do not,” Spock added as they walked towards the brig. Bones rolled his eyes and ignored the Vulcan. 

“Anyway, why the hell did Harrison surrender?” Bones asked. 

“Don’t know, but he just single-handedly took out of squad of Klingons,” Jim replied. “I want to know how.”

“Sounds like Superman.”

Spock arched a brow. “Super…”

“We’ll watch the movie later, Spock,” Jim commented as they walked closer to Harrison’s cell.  

Jim and Spock stood next to each other a few feet from Bones as he stood in front of the clear cell well.  He pulled a device, which was embedded into the cell, over in front of himself and made a small hole in the cell. Harrison eyed Jim and Spock before focusing on Bones. 

“I’m gonna take a blood sample,” Bones told Harrison. “Put your arm through the hole.”

Harrison walked over and rolled up the sleeve on his right arm.  He placed his arm through the hole; his hand was balled into a fist.  When Bones stepped closer, Harrison tightened his fist and the sounds of more than one heartbeats sounded through.  

It took a moment for them to realize what it was before Jim glared and made a move towards the captive.  Spock reached his arm up and kept Jim back as Harrison smirked then opened his fist, dropping Jim’s pendant to the ground. 

“Twins I assume by the sound,” Harrison said.  

“Shut up,” Bones grumbled before he jabbed the man’s arm and took the blood sample. 

“As you are clearly not pregnant, Captain,” Harrison continued. “I take it the twins are around here somewhere.”

“They are not,” Jim practically growled, taking a step forwards and picking up his pendant.  He shoved it into his pocket then crossed his arms over his chest. 

“Good call,” Harrison told him.  “Not the best situation for little ones.  Now, may I ask, why aren’t we moving, Captain?”

Jim and company remained silent as Harrison continued speaking. “Is it your warp core? An unexpected malfunction perhaps? Conveniently stranding you on the edge of Klingon space?"

Bones looked to Harrison, his eyes slightly widened. “How the hell do you know that?”

“Bones,” Jim warned his friend to be quiet. 

“I think you'll find my insight valuable, Captain,” Harrison said. 

Jim ignored him and looked to Bones. “All done?”

Bones nodded and stepped away from the cell. “Yeah, we’re good.”

Jim, Spock, and Bones then turned and starting walking away. 

“Let me know what you find,” Jim told his friend as Bones headed in a different direction from where Spock and Jim were going. 

“If you ignore me, you will get everyone on this ship killed,” Harrison called out. “Perhaps even those twins, wherever they might be.”

Jim paused his walk and took in their prisoner's words, his voice still ringing in his ears.  Spock turned to face his mate. He shot Harrison a look before focusing on Jim. 

“Captain, I believe he will only attempt to manipulate you,” Spock told him. “I would not recommend engaging him further.”

Jim clenched his fists and nodded. “Just…give me a minute.”

Spock internally sighed before stepping away.  Jim watched him leave before turning and advancing on the cell, his anger at the prisoner starting to flare up. 

Jim glared at Harrison. “Let me explain what’s happening here. You are a criminal. A murderer who I watched kill innocent men and women. I was authorized to end you! And the only reason why you are still alive is because I am allowing it. So shut your mouth.”

Harrison gave Jim a small smile in return. “Oh, Captain, are you going to punch me again?  I believe that hurt you a lot more then it hurt me.  Clearly you want to, so tell me, why did you allow me to live?

“We all make mistakes,” Jim replied with a slight shrug. “And you surrendered.”

“I do not make mistakes, Captain. I surrendered to you because, despite your attempt to convince me otherwise, you seem to have a conscience, Mr. Kirk. If you did not then it would be impossible for me to convince you of the truth.”

“The truth?”

“Yes. 23-17-46-11. Coordinates not far from Earth. Go and take a look if you want to know why I did what I did.”

“Give me one reason why I should listen to you.”

“I can give you 72,” Harrison said causing Jim to raise a brow in confusion. “They are on board your ship, Captain. Have been all along.  I suggest you open one up.”

Jim eyed Harrison for a moment before turning and walking out of the brig.  He walked for several moments before stopping and pulling out his communicator and hailing Scotty. 

“Well if it isn’t Captain James Tiberius Perfect Hair!” Scotty voice came through the communicator. 

Jim sighed and shook his head as he heard Scotty speak to someone with him “Did you hear that, Keenser? I called him Perfect Hair!”

“He does have nice hair,” Jim heard Keenser respond. 

“Where are you?” Jim asked, getting Scotty’s attention. 

“Where am I? Where are you?” Scotty replied. 

“Scotty are you drunk?”

“That is none of ye business, Jimbo.”

_Jimbo?_ Jim thought. _Hate that nickname._ “Scotty, I need you to help me out with something. Will you write down these coordinates? 23-17-46-11.” 

Jim waited for a response but when none came he sighed. “Are you writing them down?”

“I can remember four numbers, Jimster! Oh ye of little faith.”

“Don’t call me that and what are the numbers?”

“Um…well…23. 17. Something with a four and 11.”

Jim closed his eyes and wished he could reach through the communicator and shake his friend. “23-17-46-11.”

“Got it!”

“Thank you.  Look, I don’t know exactly what you’re looking for, but…I have a feeling you’ll know it when you see it. You also may have been right about those torpedoes so I am sorry about earlier.”

“Thank you,” Scotty replied.  “I bet you feel bad about firing me, don’t you, Jiminy Kirket.”

Jim laughed. “You are the one that quit, Scotty.  Also, please sober up before you go and look for whatever is at the coordinates or at least let Keenser drive.”

“You made me quit and I am sober-ish!” Scotty yelled through the communicator before it disconnected. 

“Scotty? Mr. Scott?” Jim called but then shook his head and sighed. 

* * *

 

“Are you out of your corn fed mind?” Bones fussed several minutes later when they were all back on the bridge.  Jim had just informed him and Spock what Harrison had told him. “You’re not actually going to listen to this guy? Pike’s on his deathbed because of him and he almost killed you and now you think it’s a good idea to pry open a torpedo and see what’s inside all because he dared you to?”

 Jim looked to his friend. “Why did he save our lives, Bones? He had every opportunity to kill us but didn’t.”

“Doctor McCoy has a point, Captain,” Spock spoke up. 

“It makes me uncomfortable when you agree with me, Spock,” Bones told the Vulcan. “But thank you.”

Spock glanced to the doctor and arched a brow. “Perhaps it would be best for you to learn to govern your emotions, Doctor. In this situation logic dictates…”

“Logic?!” Bones snapped, facing Spock. “Oh god! There is a maniac trying to make us blow up our own damn ship and…”

“That’s not it,” Jim interrupted.  “I don’t know why he surrendered, but that’s not it.  Why blow up a ship he is already on?  He may be a bit superman-ish, but even that would kill him. Look, we are going to open one of those torpedoes.  The question is how, though.”

“Jim,” Bones sighed. “Without Mr. Scott on board, who exactly is qualified to do that?”

“Admiral Marcus’ daughter appeared to have interest in the torpedoes and she is a weapons specialist,” Spock said causing Bones and Jim to look at him with wide eyes.  “Perhaps she could be of some use.”

“Admiral Marcus’ daughter?” Jim asked a bit flabbergasted.

“Carol Marcus. Your new science officer concealed her identity to board the ship.”

Jim looked to his mate with a quizzical expression. “When…when were you going to tell me that?” _I am your mate, you know?_

“When it became relevant. As it just did.” _I apologize for not informing you earlier, ashayam._

Jim sighed then turned and left the bridge to find Carol.  Spock tried to follow but Jim mentally told him to stay on the bridge.

* * *

Jim found her after a moment and informed her of the plan to open one of the torpedoes.  She started walking fast to weapons bay and Jim had to keep up with her. 

“The torpedoes are in weapons bay,” she told him. 

“Yeah, loaded and ready to fire,” Jim replied.  “What are they?”

Carol shrugged. “I don’t know, that’s why I forged my transfer onto your ship to find out why.” Carol then stopped walking and turned to face Jim. “I do apologize for that and for making your Spock…husband…think that I am after you.  If I have caused any problems, I am sorry.”

Jim smiled. “He’s weird, it’s not you, so no need to apologize.”

_She does need to apologize. You are mine_ , Spock told him. 

_Stay out of my head right now, Pointy_ , Jim lightly snapped. 

She smiled back. “Carol Marcus by the way.” She held out her hand.”

“James Kirk,” Jim replied, shaking her hand.  

“Torpedoes,” Carol then said out before pulled her hand away and rushing towards weapons bay.  

Jim arched a brow then quickly followed after Carol.  He caught up to her as they entered the bay and came to walk beside her. 

“My father gave me access to every program he oversaw,” she informed Jim. “Then I heard he was developing these prototype torpedoes.”

“And he didn’t give you access?” Jim asked as they walked towards an open shuttle. 

“Nope.  I went to talk to him about them but he wouldn’t even see me.”

“That’s a red flag,” Jim commented as they entered the shuttle. 

“And another is the fact that I then discovered the torpedoes had disappeared from all official records.”

Jim nodded, “Then he gave them to me.”

“Exactly,” Carol said before starting to press buttons on the ship, turning it on and then moving to a cargo bin and opening it up. 

“What are we doing in here?” Jim asked as she pulled out a suit from the bin. 

“Is this shuttle prepped to fly?” she asked in return. 

“Of course it is.”

“Good. Now would you please turn around?”

“Why?” Jim asked raising a brow. 

“Please?” Carol asked again.  

Jim nodded then turned around.  

“It’s too dangerous to try and open one of the torpedoes here on the ship,” Carol told him. “There is a nearby planetoid that would be perfect to use to open one up there.  I just need a pair of steady hands to assist me.”

As Carol spoke, Jim kept hearing some rustling which confused him so he turned his head and looked over his shoulder. _Oh, that’s why_ , he thought before Carol reprimanded him for looking as he snapped his gaze away.

* * *

On the bridge, the crew heard something snap and turned to see Spock sitting in the captain’s chair with half a broken PADD in each hand.  His face was blank but his eyes were narrowed and dark and his jaw clenched. 

“Commander?” Sulu asked. 

“Do. Not. Ever. Unclothe. Yourself. In front. Of. My. Mate,” Spock gritted through his teeth. 

“Yes, Sir,” everyone replied hesitantly before looking away and focusing on their tasks.


	9. Admiral Marcus Arrives

After nearly giving Jim a heart attack because his best friend was almost blown up, Jim went down to engineering while he waited for Carol and Bones to return from the planetoid. They had said that there was a frozen guy in the torpedo which Jim needed to see to believe.

In engineering, he nodded to the crew members he passed and made his way over to where Chekov was fussing about. He wanted to see what the problem was.

“What’s the damage?” Jim asked.

Chekov turned to him. “We found the leak, sir. The damage, though, is substantial.”

Jim sighed. “Great.”

“We are working on it, Keptin.”

“Any idea what caused it?” Jim asked, looking around the area.

Chekov shook his head and looked slightly defeated. “No, sir, but I accept full responsibility. You made me the new engineer and I have caused…”

“Pavel,” Jim interrupted, putting his hands on the young Russians shoulders. “This wasn’t your fault.”

Chekov gave him a small smile before nodding.

Jim smiled back and removed his hands. “Stay on it and if anything else happens let me know, alright?”

“Aye, Keptin.”

Jim then turned and headed to meet up with Spock. 

* * *

 

Spock and his mate entered medbay and found Doctors Marcus and McCoy with the torpedo.  Carol was taking parts off of it while McCoy stood next to it with a PADD.

“What have we got?” Jim asked as they walked over to the torpedo.

“This fuel container’s been removed from the torpedo and retrofitted to his this cryo tube,” Carol replied, removing a piece from the torpedo and setting it aside. “It’s quite clever actually.”

Spock arched a brow and walked over to stand by McCoy.  He looked down at the frozen man as Jim asked Bones, “Is he alive?”

Bones nodded. “He is, but we can’t revive him.”

“Why?” Spock questioned.

Bones glanced to him. “Without the right sequencing it could kill him. This technology is beyond me.”

“How advanced is this technology, Doctor?”

“That cryo tube isn’t advanced, Mr. Spock,” Carol responded. “It’s ancient.”

“Yeah, we haven’t need to freeze anyone since we developed warp capability, which explains the most interesting thing about our new friend here,” Bones said, nodding to the cryo tube. “He’s 300 years old.”

Jim’s eyes widened in shock at hearing that.  He looked from Bones to the cryo tube and shook his head. “We need answers.”

“I believe he will try and manipulate…” Spock tried but Jim had already turned and started leaving the medbay.

Spock internally sighed before following after his mate.

* * *

 

Jim went straight to the brig with Spock following close behind him.  He walked up to Harrison’s cell and stood in front of the clear partition.  Harrison didn’t make a move to stand from where he sat; merely glancing up to Jim when the captain had walked up.

 _I wanna punch him again,_ Jim thought.

 _It would be best not to,_ Spock replied.

“Why is there a man in that torpedo?” Jim asked.

“There are men and women in all the torpedoes, Captain.”

“Why?”

“I put them there.”

“Who are you?  I checked, John Harrison didn’t exist until a year ago.”

Harrison looked to Jim. “John Harrison was a fiction created the moment I was awoken by your Admiral Marcus.  My crew and I are a remnant of a time long past. Genetically engineered to be superior so as to lead others to peace in a world at war.  But we were forced into exile; condemned as criminals.”

 _No shit,_ Jim and Spock both thought.

“My name is Khan,” Harrison—Khan said.

“How did Marcus find you?” Spock asked.

Khan glanced to Spock before replying, “As a result of the destruction of Vulcan, your Starfleet began to aggressively search distant quadrants of space. My shift was found adrift. I alone revived. Marcus created the name John Harrison as a smokescreen to conceal my true identity and to advance his cause.”

Jim arched a brow. “Why would Admiral Marcus revive a three hundred year old frozen man to ask for help?”

“Because I am better,” Khan said matter-of-factly.

Jim kept back a snort. “Better at what?”

“Everything. Marcus wanted my mind—a warrior’s mind to design weapons and warships.”

Spock took a step closer to Jim. “To merely exploit your intellect, you are suggesting that Admiral Marcus violated every regulation he vowed to uphold.”

Khan turned his full attention to the Vulcan, standing up and stepping closer to the clear partition separating him from Jim and Spock. “No, Mr. Spock, he wanted to exploit my savagery.”

“Why?”

Khan smirked. “Intellect alone is useless in a fight. I’ve read your files, Mr. Spock. You can’t even break a rule so how could you be expected to break bone?”

“I have no qualms with breaking your bones, Khan,” Spock replied simply.

 _Don’t turn me on right now,_ Jim told his mate through their bond.

_Jim, please._

Khan looked between him and Jim before continuing, “To help him realize his vision of a militarized Starfleet, Marcus used me to design weapons. He sent you to use those weapons.”

“To take you out,” Jim said.

“No. To fire my torpedoes on an unsuspecting planet. The Klingons would come searching for whomever responsible and find your ship purposely crippled in enemy space with no chance of escape.  Marcus would finally have that war he always talked about, wouldn’t he. A war he always wanted.”

Jim shook his head. “No.  I watched you open fire in a room of unarmed Starfleet officers.  You killed them in cold blood! Marcus…”

“Marcus took my crew from me!” Khan interrupted.

“You are a murderer! You…”

“He used my friends—my family to control me!” Khan raised his voice and said before turning away. “I…I tried to get them away…to smuggle them to safety by concealing them in the very weapons I had designed.  But I was discovered so I had no choice but to escape alone.”

“That does not give you cause for what you did.” _For taking Chris from me._

Spock looked to his mate and stepped closer to stand beside him. He moved one of his hands to Jim’s and rubbed his fingers across the back of Jim’s hand, sending calming, loving emotions as well.

“I had every reason to suspect that Marcus had killed them…killed the people I hold most dear,” Khan told him, turning around to face Jim and Spock. He looked down to their hands for a second before snapping his gaze up. “So I responded in kind.  My crew is my family, Kirk. Is there anything you would not do for your family?”

“I wouldn’t open fire and kill innocent people,” Jim responded as his ship’s comm chimed. 

“Captain, proximity alert,” Sulu’s voice came through the comm. “There is a ship heading right for us at warp.”

“Klingons?” Jim asked.

Khan stepped closer as Sulu replied. “I don’t think so, Sir.  It’s not coming at us from Qo'noS.”

“We both know who it is, Kirk,” Khan said with a small smile.

Jim clenched his fists then ordered for Khan to be moved to medbay with six security officers with him.

* * *

 

Jim and Spock walked quickly onto the bridge. Jim moved the middle of the bridge of stared at the viewscreen while Spock went to his station.

“How long until the oncoming ship arrives?” Jim asked Sulu.

“About ten seconds,” Sulu replied.

Jim nodded and sat down in his chair. “Shields up.”

“Aye, Captain.”

Jim gripped the armrests in anticipation as he mentally counted down to the ship’s arrival.  He watched as suddenly a giant starship came out of warp just in front of them. Jim blinked at the size and noted that it looked like a larger version of the Enterprise.  He looked over the image of the ship on the viewscreen and saw no visible markings bearing a registry number or Starfleet symbols.

“Captain, they are hailing us,” Uhura said.

Jim nodded. “On screen.” Jim then paused before saying, “Broadcast shipwide, for the record.”

There was a moment of silence before the viewscreen showed Admiral Marcus’ face. Jim tensed up.

“Captain Kirk,” Marcus said.

Jim forced a smile, not relieved to see the Admiral. “Admiral Marcus, I wasn’t expecting you.” _What the fuck is he doing here?_ Jim thought as he said, “That’s one hell of a ship you got there.”

Marcus nodded. “And I wasn’t expecting to get word that you’d taken Harrison into custody in direct violation of your orders.”

“Well…we had to…improvise when our warp core unexpectedly malfunctioned. But I believe you already knew that, didn’t you? Sir.”

“I don’t take your meaning,” Marcus said, eyeing Jim.

Jim smiled. “That’s why you’re here, isn’t it? To give us a hand with our repairs?”

Marcus stared at Jim but before he could respond, Jim added: “Why else would the head of Starfleet personally come to the edge of the Neutral Zone?”

 _Jim,_ Spock warned.

_Spock, I think what Khan said has some merit._

_I believe so as well, but be careful._

“Captain,” Sulu spoke up. “They are scanning our ship.”

Jim looked to Sulu’s station before looking back to Marcus on screen. “Can I help you find something, sir?  The warp core is what requires attention.”

“I am aware of that, Kirk.  Where is Harrison?”

“Per Starfleet regulation, I am planning on returning _Khan_ to Earth to stand trial,” Jim replied.

Marcus let out a sigh. “Well, shit.” Marcus then looked away and shook his head.  “You talked to him.”

“Why would I not question my prisoner?” Jim asked as Marcus looked back to him.

“Kirk, I took a tactical risk and I woke that bastard up, believing that his superior intelligence could help us protect ourselves from whatever came at us next.”

 _What would come at us?_ Jim wondered.

“But I made a mistake,” Marcus said. “And now the blood of everybody he’s killed is on my hands.  James, Pike passed away shortly before I came here.”

Jim swallowed as Spock stood up from his chair and walked over to Jim.  He placed a hand to his mate’s shoulder.

 _I grieve with thee, t’hy’la, but keep a leveled head,_ Spock told him.

Jim took in a deep breath and exhaled before nodding.

“I’m sorry for your loss,” Marcus said.  “Kirk, I’m asking you…please give him to me so that I can end what I started.”

Jim thought about it then asked, “And what exactly would you like me to do with the rest of his crew, sir? Fire them at the Klingons and end 72 innocent lives? Start a war in the process?”

“He put his people in those torpedoes,” Marcus said a little loudly.  “You saw what this man can do all by himself. Can you imagine what would happen if we woke up the rest of his crew?”

 _The Admiral has a point,_ Spock said.

“What else did he tell you, Kirk?” Marcus questioned. “That he’s a peacekeeper? He’s playing you, don’t you see that? Khan and his crew were condemned to death as war criminals. And now it is our duty to carry out that sentence before anybody else dies because of him.”

Jim and Spock looked to each other, both uncertain about who to trust.

Marcus raised his voice a little louder. “I’m going to ask you—lower your shields. Tell me where he is.

“He’s in engineering, sir,” Jim lied, looking back to the Admiral.  “I’ll have him moved to the transporter room right away.”

“I’ll take it from here. Don’t do anything foolish, Kirk,” Marcus told him before the screen cut out. “

“Do not drop those shields,” Jim told Sulu. _Foolish is my middle name._

 _It is not, it is Tiberius,_ Spock said as Sulu said, “Aye, Captain.”

“Captain, may I know the details of your plan?” Spock asked.

“We’re bringing a fugitive back to Earth, Spock,” Jim replied before pressing a button on his chair and comm-ing Chekov. “Mr. Chekov, can we warp?”

“Um…yes, but we run the risk of seriously damaging the core,” Chekov responded. “I would not advise it.”

“I heard a ‘yes’ in there so we’re going,” Jim replied. He then looked to Sulu. “Set course for Earth.”

“Aye, sir,” Sulu responded, turning his attention to his station.

“Punch it.”

* * *

 

A few minutes into warp towards Earth, Jim turned to Uhura. “Lieutenant, contact Starfleet. Tell them an unmarked Federation ship pursued us into the Neutral Zone.”

“Comms are down, Sir,” she replied.

Jim was about to groan when the bridge doors opened and Carol came rushing in.  Jim stood up as she came up to him, her eyes looking panicked.

“Dr. Marcus,” Jim tried but she shook her head.

“Sir, he’s going to catch up with us and when he does the only thing that’s gonna stop him…”

“We are at warp,” Spock interrupted, coming to stand before them. “It is not possible for Admiral Marcus to catch up to us.”

Carol looked to Spock, “Yes he can. He’s been developing a ship that has advance warp capabilities…”

“Captain!” Sulu spoke up, getting their attention.  “I’m getting a reading that I don’t understand.”

Jim made a move to go over to his helmsman but suddenly their ship was fired upon, knocking everyone off balance.  Carol fell to the side as Jim almost went face first to the floor but was caught by his Spock.

“Thanks,” Jim said as Spock righted him, but then the ship was hit again, spinning them out of warp.

Spock grabbed onto the Captain’s chair and kept an arm around Jim, keeping them upright until the ship came to a stop. Spock released him and Jim immediately asked for status reports.

“We’re 237,000 kilometers from Earth,” Sulu reported.

“Shields are dropping.”

“We’re defenseless, sir.”

“Sir, there’s been a bulkhead breach.”

Jim took in the reports then turned to another crew member. “Where’s the damage?”

“Major hull damage, Captain,” was the reply Jim got.

Jim clenched his fists as they were fired on again, getting hit several times. Jim jerked forward but caught himself from falling. “Evasive maneuvers! Get us to Earth right now, Sulu!”

Jim saw Carol about to speak when Uhura beat her to it, “Sir, we’re being hailed.”

“Let me talk to my father,” Carol said. “Everyone will die if you don’t.”

Jim nodded. “Uhura, on screen.” Jim and everyone then looked to the screen as it changed.

Several crew members gasped as Jim and Spock rushed closer to the screen, their eyes wide in shock and disbelief.

 _No,_ they both thought as they saw their sons and Amanda sitting in what looked to be quarters on a starship. Xander and Soren were playing with toy starships as Amanda sat in a chair next to them and looked at them fondly.

“I told you not to be foolish, Kirk,” the Admiral said, his voice coming over the comms before the screen changed from the twins and Amanda to his Marcus' face. 


	10. Scotty Is Back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this chapter is late! Last week was stressful with school. I had a thousand assignments due that my procrastinating butt waited until the last minute to start.

“Kirk,” Marcus said before Jim interrupted him. 

“Don’t hurt them!” Jim yelled, his eyes still wide and scared. “Please.” _Don’t hurt my boys, please._

“They are safe as long as you cooperate.”

“Admiral, how can you hold the lives of our children and my mother over our heads?” Spock gritted out. “They are innocent.”

“Dad,” Carol spoke up, walking towards where Jim and Spock stood in front of the viewscreen.

Marcus visibly tensed on screen. “Carol, what the hell are you doing on that ship?”

“I heard what you said…that you made a mistake and that you’re trying to fix it,” Carol said.  “But, dad, bringing Kirk and Spock’s family into this. Their innocent sons…I don’t believe that the man who raised me is capable of hurting children or destroying a ship full of innocent people.”

“Carol…”

“No, dad,” Carol interrupted, her fists clenching by her sides. “If I’m wrong about that, then you are going to have to destroy this ship with me on board.”

Marcus looked at his daughter before shaking his head. “No, I won’t, Carol.”

Carol looked confused before starting to feel the familiar tingles that came with dematerializing. She turned to Jim.

“Can we intercept the signal?” Jim asked, watching as Carol started to panic.

“No, sir,” came a reply before Carol tried running from the transport but it didn’t help. Jim and crew watched her disappear from the ship.

Jim turned back to the viewscreen. “Please, stop this, Admiral. I’ll do anything.”

“Captain Kirk,” Marcus replied. “Without authorization and in league with the fugitive John Harrison, you went rogue in enemy territory...”

“That is false and no one would believe such an accusation,” Spock growled at Marcus.

Marcus ignored Spock and continued, “…leaving me no choice but to hunt you down and destroy you.” Marcus then looked to someone off screen. “Lock phasers.”

“Wait! Sir, wait!” Jim begged, walking closer to the viewscreen.  He touched his bond with his boys in his head for comfort as Marcus ignored him.

“Target all aft torpedoes on the Enterprise bridge.”

“Please, sir, my crew…they were just following my orders,” Jim told Marcus, causing the man to look at him. “I…I take full responsibility,” Jim paused, feeling Spock touch the small of his back in comfort. “I take full responsibility for my actions. They…they were mine and mine alone.  If I transmit Khan’s location to you now, all that I ask is that you spare them. I’ll do anything you want, just please…let them live.”

Marcus sat back in his seat and sighed. “That’s a hell of an apology, Kirk. But if it’s any consolation, I was never going to spare your crew.”

Jim’s heart dropped and his eyes started to water.

“And our sons? My mother?” Spock asked.

“They won’t be hurt.  Your funerals and legacy won’t be held in honor, but I’ll make sure your boys won’t be ostracized as the children of traitors.”

“My mother knows that neither Jim nor I would be capable of treason.  And your daughter, she knows the truth.”

“I will deal with her.”

Jim sucked in a deep breath before asking, “May we see them? One last time.”

“No,” Marcus snapped before looking off screen. “Fire when…” the screen cut off.

Jim turned to his crew, his eyes glimmering with unshed tears. “I am so sorry,” he told them all.

_My parents will know the truth,_ Spock told him, taking Jim’s hand in his and trying to comfort his mate.

_The boys…_ Jim replied but cut off when Sulu spoke up.

“Their weapons have powered down, Sir.”

“What?” Jim asked, blinking his tears away. 

“Enterprise! Can ya hear me?” Scotty’s voice then came thru.

Jim’s face lit up as he turned towards the viewscreen where he heard the voice. “SCOTTY!”

“Guess what I found behind Jupiter?”

“You’re on that ship!” Jim exclaimed.

_Fascinating,_ Spock thought.

“I snuck on,” Scotty replied. “And now that I’ve just committed an act of treason against a Starfleet Admiral, I’d really like to get off this bloody ship!”

“You are a miracle worker, Scotty, but um…we’re a little low on power right now. Just…stand by.”

“What? Stand by? Low on power? What happened to my ship?”

“My ship,” Jim corrected.

“Call you back!” Scotty then said before the transmission cut off.

Jim did a little happy jump before looking back to his crew. “So who’s not ready to die? Everyone? Good. I think I’ve got a plan.”  He looked to his mate. “Spock, how is our ship?”

“Captain, our options are limited,” Spock replied. _What is this plan?_

“Can we flee?”

“No.”

“Fire?”

“No.”

“There is an option,” Jim said before looking to Uhura and telling her to patch Scotty thru once he comm’s back.

Uhura nodded then turned to her station.

“Spock, you have the conn,” Jim told his mate before walking towards the turbolift. 

Spock followed close behind, entering the lift behind his mate. “I strongly object.”

Jim kept from rolling his eyes. “I haven’t said anything yet.”

“I am aware, but I know you and I know that you are planning something that I would object to.  We cannot take the ship from the outside so the only way we can take it is from within. Since a large boarding party would be detected, it is optimal for you to take as few members of the crew as possible.”

The lift doors opened and Jim walked away, Spock following. “Spock…”

“Captain, you will meet resistance,” Spock continued talking. “Requiring personnel with advanced combat abilities and innate knowledge of that ship.”

“Spock…”Jim tried again.

“No, you plan to align with Khan.”

“I’m not aligning with him, just using him.”

“I will go with you instead to retrieve our sons and my mother.”

“No, I need you on the bridge.”

Spock reached a hand out and grabbed Jim’s shoulder, turning him around to face him. “I cannot allow you to do this, ashayam. I am your mate and first officer. It is my function on this ship to advise you on making the wisest decisions possible, something I firmly believe you are incapable of doing at this moment.”

“You’re right!” Jim snapped. “My only thoughts right now are to save our family. Everyone. The boys, Amanda, and the crew. So, yes, what I’m about to do doesn’t make any sense but I need to do it. It is my gut feeling. Not logic.”

Spock stepped closer seeing his mate start to shake slightly.  He grabbed both of Jim’s hands and held them.

“Spock, I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. I only know what I can do and that is to get to our sons and Amanda and save our crew. You need to stay here. Our ship…our crew…they need someone on the bridge that knows what they’re doing and that’s…that’s not me. It’s you.”

Spock shook his head. “The crew, all of us, Jim, look to you and trust you. I will take the captain’s chair temporarily until you come back with the boys and my mother. It is yours, not mine.”

_Why you gotta be so good with words,_ Jim said before giving Spock a small smile.

Spock small back before Jim pulled Spock in for a hug. “I’ll bring them back safely, Spock.”

“I have no doubt that you will, t’hy’la,” Spock said softly before hugging Jim tighter then kissing his cheek.  _I do not trust Khan so please be safe._

_I will,_ Jim replied before pulling back and kissing Spock on the lips. “Love you, Pointy.”

“Taluhk nash-veh k'dular,” Spock told him before Jim pulled away completely then turned and walked away.

* * *

 

Jim entered medbay and found several armed redshirts standing guard over Khan.  Jim eyed the man’s profile before walking over and standing in front of him, staring at him hard.

“I need to know everything about that ship,” Jim said.

“Dreadnought class,” Khan replied. “Two times the size of this ship and three times the speed. Advanced weaponry. Modified for a minimal crew. Built solely for combat.”

Jim nodded. “I will do everything I can to make you answer for what you did, but right now I need your help.”

“In exchange for what?” Khan asked.

“You said you’d do anything for your crew. I can guarantee their safety.”

“Captain, you cannot guarantee the safety of your own crew and children…” Khan stopped when Jim punched him in the face. 

Jim shook his hand, trying not to show how that hurt as Khan merely blinked.  Jim looked away from Khan to Bones sitting in the corner.

“Why do you have a tribble?” Jim asked.

“It’s dead.”

“Why do you have a dead tribble?”

“Because I asked for one from Santa,” Bones fussed before sighing and picking up a hypo. “I’m injecting Khan’s blood into the deceased tissue of a necrotic host. His cells regenerate like nothing I’ve ever seen and I want to know why.”

Jim eyed his friend. “Do you know what is going on outside of medbay?”

Bones turned to him and nodded. “I’ve taken care of the injured.  You’re taking care of Marcus, I got it. Go get that sonofabitch and bring back the boys and Amanda.”

Jim nodded then looked back to Khan.  He narrowed his eyes and stepped closer into Khan’s personal space. “You coming with me or not?”

* * *

 

While Jim, Khan, and Scotty discussed how to get onto the Admiral’s ship, Spock stayed on the bridge.  He walked over to Uhura and knelt over her station.

“It is possible to establish a connection with New Vulcan?” he asked quietly.

“I think so,” she replied. “Do you want me to connect your father?”

“No, Spock…Selik,” Spock said.

“I’ll do my best.”

“Thank you,” Spock said before moving away and sitting in the captain’s chair. “What is the status of the Admiral’s ship, Mr. Sulu?”

“Their systems are still offline,” Sulu replied.

“And the alignment of our ship?”

“Doing that now, Sir.”

_Where are you now?_ Spock asked his mate.

_Suited up and waiting for Scotty._

“Our trash exhaust is aimed at access port 101A of the other ship, Commander,” Sulu said.

_We are in the trash thingy,_ Jim then said. 

Spock nodded and pressed a button on the arm rest to comm his mate. “Captain, the ships are aligned.”

“Copy that,” Jim replied.

Spock and the crew then listened to Scotty explain the size of the door Jim and Khan would have to go thru and Jim’s response.

Sulu snickered as Spock shook his head.

_It’s a long story, happened before we met,_ Jim said. _The jumping…_

_I would enjoy hearing it another time, Jim._

_Right, yeah…ready to jump at any time._

“Captain, before you launch you should be aware that there is a considerable amount of debris between our ships,” Spock told his mate and Khan.

“Spock, not now,” Jim replied before they head Jim asked Scotty if he was ready.  Scotty replied not yet and called Jim a mad bastard.

_Mr. Scott and I will need to have a talk about how he talks to you once this is over,_ Spock told his mate.

_I call you a lot worse, Pointy._

Spock was going to reply when he noticed McCoy enter the bridge and kneel next to the captain’s chair.

“This is going to work, right?” Bones asked.

“I have neither the information nor the confidence to do so, Doctor,” Spock replied.

_I heard that!_ Jim fussed.

“You’re a real comfort,” Bones grumbled.

“I am quite a comfort to my sons and mate,” Spock retorted, glancing to the doctor.

Bones shook his head as Scotty said he was ready.

“Spock, pull the trigger,” Jim said thru the comm.

Spock swallowed, hesitating for a moment before saying, “Yes, Captain.”  Spock looked to the other arm rest and typed in a code. “Launching activation sequence on three….”

_Be safe and return with our family,_ Spock said.

“Two.”

_I will,_ Jim replied.

“One.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be next Friday! I promise!


	11. On The Vengeance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised I'd have this chapter up today and I did it!! ^-^

Jim sighed in slight relief when Khan appeared again.  He’d thought, kind of hoped, the guy had been taken out in the debris field, but with Jim flying blind towards Marcus’ ship, he really needed Khan.

Khan told him to come to his left and follow him.  Jim nodded to himself and moved closer so he as flying right beside Khan now. He glanced to the fugitive and saw Khan looking at him with a small smirk before looking forward again.

 _I’ve got a bad feeling about this,_ Jim thought.

 _I am not surprised,_ Spock replied. _Please be careful._

* * *

 

After panicking slightly at Scotty not responding to being told to open the door, the door finally opened and sucked Jim and Khan right in.  When the the airlock closed, Jim and Khan fell to the ground hard and slide and rolled right up to where Scotty was sitting.

Jim caught his breath as Scotty gave him a little smile.

“Welcome aboard,” he said.

“It’s good to see you, Scotty,” Jim breathed out.

Scotty nodded then looked to Khan. “Who’s this?”

Jim groaned lightly as he sat up. “Khan Scotty, Scotty Khan.”

Scotty went to say ‘hello’ but Khan said, “They’ll know we’re here.  I know the best way to the bridge.”

“No,” Jim said, standing up. “My boys and mother-in-law first, then bridge.”

Khan and Scotty stood as well.

“Your boys?” Scotty asked.

“Marcus has them on the ship,” Jim told him, taking off his helmet and getting out of his flight suit.

“Oh god.”

“They are not here,” Khan said, getting out of his own flight suit.

Jim looked at him. “I saw them. They are here.”

“I do not…”

Jim took his phaser out from his pack and pointed it at Khan. “My family first then the bridge.”

Khan eyed the phaser then nodded. “Of course.”

Jim lowered the phaser and looked to Scotty. “Where is a computer to locate them?”

Scotty nodded. “Over here.”

As they followed Scotty to the computer, Jim told Spock that they were on-board and alright. He got a relieved feel from Spock in return.

Jim then watched Scotty work the computer, scanning the ship for the twins and Amanda.

“What did the room look like?” Khan asked.

“Regular quarters,” Jim replied, remembering the image.  “Um…the boys were sitting on the floor while Amanda sat in a chair near them and watched them play.”

“What kind of chair?”

Jim raised a brow at Khan. “I don’t know. It was a chair.”

“I’m not picking anything up,” Scotty told them.

“Captain, this ship is built for minimal crew.  All the quarters are located on deck seven.”

Scotty looked back to the computer and scanned that section.  “Captain, there is no one on that deck.”

Jim internally started to panic.  He had his pendent around his neck under his black shirt and resisted reaching up and touching it. “What…what if they’re hiding them on the ship?”

 _We can’t locate the boys, Spock. I can’t…_ Jim stopped when he felt wave of calmness sweep over him from his bond with Spock.

_You will find them and my mother, Jim. Be calm._

“Possible, but unlikely,” Khan told him. “Marcus most likely used a previous video or image and altered it to look like your family was on the ship.”

Jim shook his head then took grabbed the pack he came with and opened it. He handed phasers to Scotty and Khan. Telling Khan that his was locked to stun.

“I assure you that their phaser will not be on stun,” Khan said. “This way to the bridge.”  Khan then turned and headed down a hallway.

* * *

 

“Why are we walking?” Scotty whined as he and Jim followed Khan through the ship.

“Turbolifts are easily tracked,” Khan replied. “Marcus could have the lifts stopped and then we’d be in a cage for him.” Khan stopped walked for a moment and went to a computer. He tapped at the keyboard for a moment then continued on. “They cannot fire at us here or risk destabilizing the warp core which gives us the advantage.”

Scotty and Jim exchanged a look but followed Khan.

“Where’d you find this guy?” Scotty asked.

“It’s a long story,” Jim replied. 

“A story I’d like to know,” Scotty then looked to the back of Khan and then looked around them as they walked. “Look, I don’t mean to tempt fate here, but where is everyone.  A ship of this size should have a bustling crew.”

“As I said before, this ship was designed to be flown by minimal crew,” Khan told them. “One if necessary.”

“A huge ship with just one crew member? That’s outrageous!” Scotty fussed, before jumping back slightly when a crew member suddenly appeared. 

He and Jim stepped back and watched Khan easily take the poor man out. Jim glanced to his left and saw another crew member. He tried turning his phaser to him but the guy threw a punch which Jim blocked. A few more crew members showed up and Jim and Khan took them out. Scotty tried but ended up on the ground.

Jim knocked out the last guy and helped his friend up.  “You okay?”

Scotty nodded. “Yeah.  Hey, where’s Khan gone?”

Jim looked confused then looked down the hallway, seeing that it was empty except for the unconscious crew members. Jim picked up his phaser and walked around, looking everywhere while Scotty followed.

“Where is he?” Scotty asked again.

Jim touched his pendent through his shirt and continued to look around. “Shit.”

“This way,” Khan’s voice then said from behind them before walking away.

Jim and Scotty stared before moving to follow.

“The minute we get to the bridge, drop him,” Jim whispered to Scotty.

“Stun him? Khan? I thought he was helping us,” Scotty whispered back.

Jim shook his head. “I’m starting to think we’re helping him.”

* * *

 

“Commander, I have that transmission you requested,” Uhura said, turning to Spock on the bridge.

“On screen, please,” Spock look to his friend and replied before facing forward.

Uhura nodded and turned back to her station and patched the transmission through to the viewscreen.

Spock watched as his counterpart’s face appeared.

“Great, the other one,” Bones grumbled from behind Spock.

“Mr. Spock,” Selik greeted.

“Mr. Spock,” Spock replied. “My mother and…”

“They have arrived safely,” Selik interrupted. “You father collected them from the shuttle terminal a mere hour ago.  The boys are quite a handful.”

The bridge crew all paused and looked to Spock who looked visibly relieved.

“They are there?” Spock questioned.

“Yes. Is that not why you have contacted me? To assure that your family made it here safely?”

Spock shook his head. “Negative. I contacted you for two reasons. One was to tell you that Jim and I being held up my Admiral Marcus.  He has threatened to do us harm and showed us that he had my mother and sons captive on his dreadnought class starship.”

“Oh dear.  I assure you that Admiral Marcus does not have them. They are here. They are safe.  Why has the admiral turned against his own?”

“That brings me to the second reason for contacting you.  In your travels did you ever encounter a man named Khan?”

Spock watched Selik’s eyes widen slightly on screen before he looked down.

“Yes,” Selik said softly shaking his head. He looked back to Spock. “I have made a vow to never give you or Jim information from my time that could potentially alter your destiny. Your path is yours to walk and your alone.”  Selik then paused and swallowed before his eyes hardened slightly.  “That being said, Khan Noonien Singh is the most dangerous adversary the Enterprise ever faced.”

Spock clenched his fists.

“Khan is brilliant, ruthless, and he will not hesitate to kill every single one of you.”

Spock was glad that Marcus did not have his family but now worried for his mate being on the ship and with Khan.

“Did you defeat him?” Spock asked, illogically dreading whatever response Selik gave him.

“At great cost, yes,” Selik sighed sadly.

“How?” Spock asked.  

* * *

 

 _Jim, our family is not aboard,_ Spock told his mate.

Jim hesitated for a moment as the power came back on the Vengeance.

_You sure?_

_Positive. I contacted Selik and my father picked them up an hour ago. They are safe on New Vulcan._

Jim gripped his phaser as he, Khan, and Scotty stormed on to the bridge. They stunned all the crew except for Marcus. Jim went before the admiral in his captain’s chair and pointed his phaser at him.

“Kirk, don’t be foolish or else…” Marcus tried.

“Or else nothing!” Jim yelled at him. “My boys, my mother-in-law were never here! How could you use them like that?”

“They are your weakness,” Marcus replied.

Jim narrowed his eyes then looked to Scotty and nodded.  Scotty nodded back then turned his phaser on Khan and stunned him.

Jim heard the thump of Khan hitting the floor. “Scotty, make sure he stays down, alright.”

“Aye, captain,” Scotty replied before moving over to where Khan lay.

Jim looked back to Marcus. “You are under arrest, Admiral.”

“You’re not actually serious, are you?” Marcus replied.

“Get out of the chair,” Jim ordered.

“No. You need to stop and think about what you’re doing, Kirk. Think about what you did on Qo'noS.”

“I didn’t do…”

“You made an incursion onto an enemy planet!” Marcus interrupted. “You killed a Klingon patrol. Even if you got away without a trace, war is coming.”

“There is no war,” Jim told him. “You are delusional.”

“War is coming!  Who is going to lead us, huh? You?”

Jim gripped his phaser.

“If I’m not in charge, if I don’t lead us, our entire way of life is decimated! You want me off this ship? You better kill me.”

Jim shook his head. “I’m not going to kill you, sir. I can stun your ass and drag you out of that chair, but I’d rather not do that in front of your daughter.”

Marcus looked to Carol who was visibly shaking. Jim looked to her as well.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Yes,” Carol replied.

Jim nodded then heard a commotion behind him. He turned in time to see Khan jump over the console at him but before he could react, Khan had him tackled to the ground. Jim tried to get his phaser up but Khan punched him across the face.

Jim grunted at the pain before Khan grabbed him by his hair and pulled him up to kick him in the abdomen.  Jim was then thrown to the side near where Carol was standing.

 _Jim! What is wrong?_ Spock asked.

_Khan!_

Jim looked up as Khan approached. Carol tried to stop him but he threw her to the ground and stomped on her leg.  Jim cringed at hearing Carol’s painful scream. Jim turned and watched Khan stalked towards Marcus who was fiddling with a control in the corner.

Jim’s eyes widened in shock as Khan grabbed Marcus’s head between his hands and started squeezing.

Khan pushed Marcus back into a chair and stood over him, his hands still on the admiral’s head. “You…should have let me sleep.” Khan gritted out before crushing Marcus’ head between his hands.

Carol screamed as Jim’s jaw dropped. Not even on Tarsus had he seem such a horrible thing.

* * *

 

 _Oh fuck!_ Spock heard Jim through their bond, feeling a bit of terror tremble on Jim’s side of the bond.

Spock went to Sulu on the bridge. “Where are they?”

Sulu shook his head. “I can’t find him, sir. Our sensor array is down.”

Spock knew something was wrong. Very wrong.  He needed to get to his mate.

Suddenly behind him, Spock heard the viewscreen turn on and the painful groaning of his Jim.  Spock turned quickly and stared, seeing a beaten Jim being held at phaser point by Khan on the other ship’s bridge.

“I’m going to make this very simple for you, Mr. Spock,” Khan said.

“Captain,” Spock said, walking closer to the screen. He looked at his mate and saw and felt how in pain he was.

“Your crew for my crew,” Khan continued.

“You betrayed us,” Spock spoke. _Jim, are you well? What has happened?_

 _Marcus dead, Carol hurt, Scotty down,_ Jim quickly said.

“You are a smart one, Mr. Spock,” Khan snidely remarked.

“Spock, don’t…” Jim tried to get out but Khan knocked him upside the head. Jim went down and out of view.

Spock went to lunge forward before remembered it was just a viewscreen and that he couldn’t get to his mate.

“Mr. Spock, give me my crew,” Khan told him. “Your crew and your mate, for my crew.  I do believe that is a fair trade.”

“What will you do when you get them?” Spock asked, trying to keep his outer appearance calm while inside he fumed.

“We will continue the work we were doing before we were banished.”

“Which involves the mass genocide of any being you find to be less than superior.”

“Shall I destroy you, Mr. Spock? Or will you give me what I want?”

Spock clenched his fists. “Are transporter is down.”

“Mine are perfectly functional. Drop your shields.”

“I have no guarantee that you will not destroy the Enterprise if I do drop our shields.”

“Lets play this out logically then, Mr. Spock. Firstly, I will kill your captain, your mate, to demonstrate my resolve. Then, if that doesn’t break you, I will have no choice but to kill you and your entire crew.”

“If you destroy our ship, you will also destroy your own people.”

“Your crew requires oxygen to survive, mine does not. I will target your life support systems located behind the aft nacelle and after every single person aboard your ship suffocates, I will walk over your cold corpses to recover my people.”

Spock stared at the crazed man, thinking of all the options he had. 

“Now, shall we begin?” Khan asked with a smirk. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting closer to the warp core scene :(


	12. Warp Core

Spock wanted nothing more than to have Khan in front of him to pummel for harming his mate and threatening his crew.  He looked to Sulu and nodded. “Lower shields.”

“A wise choice, Mr. Spock,” Khan said.

Spock heard his mate started to get up from the floor then flinched when he saw Khan kicked him back down. Jim was in pain and it hurt Spock.

 _T’hy’la, I will get you back here,_ Spock told him.

Khan walked away from the viewscreen and scanned the Enterprise.  “I see your 72 torpedoes are still in their tubes. If they are not mine, Commander, I will know it.”

“Vulcans do not lie,” Spock told him. “The torpedoes are yours.  Take them and send our Captain and crew members back. Please.”

Spock watched Khan and saw he looked pleased at getting his crew back.  Khan looked back to the viewscreen.

“Thank you, Mr. Spock,” Khan said.

“I have fulfilled your terms. Now fulfill mine.”

* * *

 

Jim kept back a groan as he slowly stood up.  Khan moved to the captain’s chair and sat down. Jim saw Scotty start to stand as well.

“Well, Kirk, it seems apt of me to return you to your crew,” Khan talked. “After all, no ship should go down without her captain.”

Jim glared at him as he, Scotty, and Carol started to dematerialize. He blinked and found himself in a holding cell on the Enterprise. He looked and saw the red alert lights flashing and the klaxon sounding.

Scotty banged on the clear partition and yelled for the crew member manning the brig station to let them out.  Their ship was then hit, causing them to be knocked to the side.

The partition opened a second later and Scotty and Jim grabbed up Carol and started heading towards medbay.

As they quickly made their way there, trying to keep steady as the ship continued to be hit, they heard Spock’s voice come over the comms.

“Crew of the Enterprise,” Spock said. “Prepare for imminent proximity detonation.”

“What’s he talking about?” Scotty asked. “Imminent proximity what?”

“He armed the torpedoes!” Jim said a little happily. _Sneaky Vulcan._

_It is what you would have done.  Please get to the bridge immediately._

_Yeah, yeah, be there soon, sweetie!_ Jim replied as he and Scotty walked into medbay with the injured Carol.

“Bones! Need you!” Jim called.

Bones looked up from where he stood over an injured crew member. “Nurse,” he said nodding to a nurse and Uhura who came rushing over.  They took Carol from Jim and Scotty and led her over to a biobed.

“Good to see you back, Jim,” Bones said.

“You helped Spock detonate those torpedoes?”

“Damn right I did.”

“Khan’s crew though.”

“Oh they’re fine. You know your hobgoblin wouldn’t kill anyone,” Bones told him, nodding his head to the side.  Jim looked and smiled at seeing the medbay taken over by cryotubes. “72 human popsicles.”

Jim smiled before the power on the ship cut off.

* * *

 

_Spock, did you break my ship?_

“Sir, the central power grid is failing,” a lieutenant said.

“Switch to auxiliary power,” Spock ordered.

“Auxiliary power is failing, Commander,” another crew member told him.

 _Auxiliary power is failing,_ Spock told his mate.

_Dammit!_

“Our ship is caught in Earth’s gravity,” Sulu reported.

Spock gripped the chair. “Can we stop?”

“I can’t do anything.”

“Lieutenant, sound evacuation, all decks,” Spock ordered.

“Aye sir.”

Spock then looked to the bridge crew. “As acting Captain, I order you to abandon ship.” Spock then pressed a button and a seat belt moved over him, strapping him to the chair.

_Jim you must evacuate._

_I’m not going anywhere._

_Yes._

“I will remain behind and divert all power to life support and evacuation shuttle bays.” When no one moved to leave Spock said again, “I order you to abandon the ship!”

_T’hy’la, please._

_T’hy’la, no,_ Jim retorted.

“Will all due respect, Spock,” Sulu spoke up. “We’re not going anywhere.” Sulu then face forward and turned on his own seat belt.

* * *

 

Jim and Scotty quickly made their way through the halls of the Enterprise, trying to keep upright as the ship was pulled towards Earth.

“One bloody day!” Scotty fussed. “I’ve off this ship, one bloody day and look what’s happening!”

The ship turned and Jim and Scotty fell the ground and slid a bit before grabbing onto the sides of the walls. They held on for as long as they could until they slid to a bridge and grabbed onto the railings, holding on tightly to keep from falling down as the ship’s gravity malfunctioned.  Jim and Scotty tried to grab a crewmember who fell beside him them but missed.

“If we don’t get power to stabilize the damn ship, there won’t be time for evacuation!” Scotty yelled.

“Can we restore it?”

“Only from engineering!” Scotty said as the ship leveled out and they could stand up. “We have to get to the warp core.”

“Come on!” Jim called before running down the hallway.

* * *

 

They ran as fast as they could, ignoring the sparks in the hallways and injured crew as the ship turned one way and the next.  They kept their balance and their goal on getting down to the warp core.

They climbed down the stairs in engineering then as they were cross a metal bridge walkway, the ship started turning again.

“Oh no!” Jim fussed as he grabbed onto the railing, trying to hold on to it tightly. He looked up to see a large canister suddenly fall above them.  It knocked onto the bridge, causing Jim and Scotty to fall and dangle over the side.

“Hold on,” Jim told Scotty.

 _Where are you?_ Spock asked, worried.

 _Engineering…kind of busy hanging with Scotty,_ Jim replied before reaching out and grabbed Scotty’s hand as his friend started to fall.

Jim held onto the railing as tight as he could as he kept hold of Scotty with his other hand. He grunted as he felt his hand slipping and nearly gasped when his hand did slip onto to be grabbed by someone.  He looked and smiled at seeing Chekov holding him.

“I’ve got you, Keptin,” Chekov said, holding on for dear life.

The ship started turning the other way and Chekov was able to pull Jim and Scotty back up safely.  They then rushed towards their destination.

“Even if we get the warp core online, we’ve still got to redirect the power,” Scotty said.

“He’s right, Keptin,” Chekov agreed.

“What are you talking about?” Jim asked.

“Someone has to hit the manual override,” Scotty told him before looking to Chekov. “Laddie, there’s a switch…”

“Behind ze deflector dish!” the Russian interrupted. “I’ll flip ze swtich!”

“Let’s go!” Jim then said as Chekov went running one way and he and Scotty headed another.

 _Going to get the warp core online and power back!_ Jim told Spock.

_Hurry, we are diverting all power at the moment to stabilizers._

When Jim and Scotty got to the warp core computer, the computer was repeating: “Warp core misaligned. Danger.”

Jim stopped to catch his breath as Scotty started fussing.

“No! Oh no, no, no!”

“What?”

“The housings are misaligned,” Scotty said. “There is no way we can redirect the power!” Scotty turned to Jim. “She’s gone, sir. The ship’s dead.”

“No she’s not,” Jim told him before rushing away. 

“Wait, Jim! If we go in there, we’ll die!”

Jim ignored him and kept moving to where the door that led into the warp core chamber was located.

“Do you hear me? The radiation will kill us!” Scotty told him.

Jim kept ignoring him as he got to the door and started pressing buttons.  Scotty grabbed him and pulled him away.

“Listen to me!” Scotty yelled as Jim looked to him. “That door is there to stop us from getting irradiated. We’d die before we made the climb! We can’t, Jim!”

Jim looked to the door and then quickly erected shields between his bonds with Spock and the boys. “You’re not making the climb,” Jim said before punching Scotty unconscious.

Jim felt Spock poking at the shield as he hoisted Scotty into a chair and made sure the seat belt kept him in it safely before rushing to the door.

He didn’t even pause as he opened it and entered.  The door closed behind him as he moved to the other door that kept the radiation back.  He opened it and immediately felt the radiation hit him, nearly causing him to be sick. He pushed through it and climbed into the core, his thoughts on his crew, his ship, and keeping them all safe.  Enough lives had been lost.

Jim struggled as he climbed up to where the core was misaligned and started trying to knock it into place but it wouldn’t budge. His whole body was on fire from the radiation but he kept pushing himself.  He paused for just a moment to press the pendent around his neck.  He listened to the calming sounds of his sons’ heartbeats as he grabbed onto a handle above him and then started kicking and kicking to align the warp core housings.

Jim thought of his sons and how’d he’d miss seeing them grow up. His eyes watered as he thought of their beautiful faces and how they were the cutest little terrors that he couldn’t image not living without and how’d they were going to live without him.

He then thought of Pike and how he’d let him down.  He wished he could’ve told Pike before all this happened how much he loved that the twins called him Paw-Paw. 

He cried out as he continued to kick the housings and listen to the heartbeats which was giving him the strength he needed to keep going.

His mate, his love, his t’hy’la would have to raise Xander and Soren without him.  Spock was going to be so mad at him for leaving him and the boys.  

Spock was still poking at the bond, but Jim kept up the shields.  He knew as soon as the shield went down Spock would come for him.

Jim gave a big kick, finally knocking the core back into alignment before being pushed back from the core, falling down to the ground.

* * *

 

 _Something is wrong, something is wrong,_ Spock kept chanting in his head as he tried reaching his mate.  If these were their last moments as the ship fell to Earth, he wanted to wrap himself in the warm embrace of his bond with Jim.  He focused on the twins instead, feeling their contentment as he continued poking at the shield between him and Jim.

The twins were safe. Content and happy.  His parents would look after them.

Spock closed his eyes and tried calming his mind but snapped them open when he felt immense pain come from Jim suddenly.

He gasped then heard Sulu say, “Warp core is back online.”

Spock paused for a moment then said, “Maximum thrusters, Mr. Sulu.”

“Thrusters at maximum! Stand by!”

_Jim! Jim, what is wrong? Where are you? Ashayam!_

The ship then stopped its freefall, the thrusters working.

“Shields restored,” a crew member said.

“Commander, power online,” another said.

“Altitude stabilizing, Mr. Spock,” Sulu turned and told him.

“It’s a miracle,” the navigator commented.

“There are no such things,” Spock said, feeling his mate’s pain and knowing something was wrong.

He was about to stand and go find him when Scotty comm’d him on the chair.

“Mr. Spock, its Jim.  We’re in engineering…you better get down here.”

Spock’s heart momentarily stopped beating. _The warp core._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the scene :(


	13. Gone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big hugs ahead of this!! I'm sorry!

As soon as Spock made it down to engineering, the block between his and Jim’s bond broke.  He stumbled out of the turbolift and fell to his knees, clutching his head as the agony of his mate dying overwhelmed him.

_No! Jim!_

_I’m sorry,_ Jim replied softly. 

Spock’s eyes prickled with tears as he picked himself up and rushed towards Scotty.  The man looked at him with grim eyes as he  shook his head.  Spock looked past him and went to the warp core door as he saw Jim flop against the glass and shut the interior door.

“Open it,” Spock demanded, his voice cracking.

“I can’t, Spock,” Scotty replied. “The decontamination process isn’t complete. You’d flood the whole compartment. The door is locked.”

Spock clenched his fists, knowing that he couldn’t do it.  He knelt down in front of the door. “T’hy’la.”

Jim looked to him and gave him a smile before his face contorted in pain. Spock placed his hands on the glass between them.

“Why?” Spock asked. “You cannot leave us.”

“’m sorry,” Jim said, leaning the side of his head against the glass and breathing heavily. “Needs of the many, right?”

Spock cursed the saying but knew Jim was right.

“How’s our ship?” Jim breathed out.  _You didn’t break anything else, did you?_

“Out of danger,” Spock replied before swallowing, the pain from Jim overwhelming him. “You saved the crew.”

"You...used his crew against him."  _Sneaky Vulcan._

"It is what you would have done, ashayam."

“And this...this is what...you would’ve done this. It was only logical.”

“Yes.”

“Better than a volcano.”

Spock’s bottom lip wobbled. “Do not make jokes now, my love.  Please…hold on for a while.  Leonard can…”

“He can’t, Spock, not this time.” _It hurts so much, Spock._

Spock reached out through their bond and tried easing the pain but it was too much.  The bond started to flare up and fray.

Jim looked at him, his eyes red and watering, his face showing how much he was suffering. “Take care of Xander and Soren. They’re…they’re terrors…but they’re…they’re our terrors.” _Tell them how much I love them and that I am so sorry for leaving them._

“I will, but please try to hold on,” Spock told him, knowing it was futile.

“I’m scared, Spock,” Jim said, his voice weak. “Help me not be.”

The tears Spock tried keeping back failed him. They trailed down his cheeks as he leaned his forehead against the glass next to Jim’s head.  He sent as much love and comfort to his mate as he could get through the pain.

He felt Jim reach out to him, mentally holding him.  Spock held him as Jim also tried to reach out to the bonds with their sons.  Spock choked slightly feeling the boys’ discomfort.  Their bond with Jim was fraying as well.

* * *

“Head hurts,” Xander complained to his Nana as they were sitting in the living room.

“Mine too,” Soren added, rubbing his head.

Amanda reached out and felt Xander’s forehead then Soren’s.  “You don’t feel like you fevers.”

“I do not believe they are sick,” Selik commented gravely. “Call a mind adept. Immediately.”

“What is wrong?” Sarek asked, already standing and going to the communicator on the wall.

Selik looked to the boys then to Sarek, replying in Vulcan so the twins wouldn't know. “I believe either Jim or Spock is dying.”

Amanda gasped. “No.”

Sarek felt his bond with his son and knew that Spock was not the one close to death, but knew Spock was distressed. He turned to the communicator as Selik and Amanda held the boys and tried comforting them as the pain got worse. 

Sarek barely heard the mind adept’s response that she’d be there quickly before disconnecting.  Sarek turned back to his family. The twins were starting to cry and call for Jim, knowing their bond with him was causing them pain.

“It will be alright,” Amanda cooed to Soren in her arms, rocking him.

“I want daddy,” Xander fussed.

“Me too!” Soren cried.

Amanda sucked in a breath then forced a smile. “It will be alright. Daddy will be alright and he and your dada will be here once they are done with their mission.”

“Yes, they will,” Selik assured them, but knew Jim was not coming back.  Selik held Xander in his arms and tried not to get emotional himself.  He’d been through losing Jim once and dreaded that he’d have to go through it again.

* * *

_It will be easier…easier if you do not hold on to them,_ Spock told him. He hated it but knew it was the truth.  The bonds were close to severing and thus causing the boys distress, but if Jim held on to those bonds it could be a lot more strenuous to the boys’ mental health.

Jim hesitated but let go, sending love to them with his last bout of strength. _Will they be alright?_

_With a mind adept and time, yes, they will._

_Will you be alright?_

_Never,_ Spock told him. _But I…I will try for the sake of our sons._

Jim blinked at him and smiled fraily before moving a hand to the pendant and pressing it to his heart. The sounds of their sons' heartbeats came sweetly from the pendent, bringing them both a little comfort. Jim then placed his hand to the glass, spreading his fingers in a Vulcan salute.

Spock did the same, shadowing Jim’s through the glass. He watched as Jim’s breathing patterns were becoming more labored and strained. Jim looked to their hands and Spock knew he wished they were really touching.  He himself craved the contact and wanted so much to open the door and wrap his arms around his mate.

“I love you,” Jim managed to say, his bottom lip quivering as he looked from their hands to Spock. His pained eyes pierced into Spock's katra. “So…much.”

“Taluhk nash-veh k'dular,” Spock replied with broken voice.  _Please...please do not leave me._

 _Their heartbeats are beautiful,_ Jim said before the sounds died out.  

Spock watched as Jim's face softened before he breathed out one last time; his bright blue eyes un-focusing and his hand slidding limply down the glass. 

Their once bright and robust bond shattered as Spock screamed out. His fists clenched on the glass as he cried for his mate to come back, but Jim was gone.

* * *

Sarek walked to where Selik was holding Xander and placed a comforting hand to the boy's back.

For a few moments, the only sound in the house was the boys' sobbing.  Suddenly, though, the boys screamed in pain and started to hysterically cry. 

Amanda hugged Soren tight and cried herself knowing that Jim has passed. 

Sarek’s heart clenched in his side as he took Xander from Selik and held him the crying boy. He did not know how to sooth his distressed family.  Sarek rubbed Xander's back as he watched as Selik sink down into a chair and try not to cry.

* * *

"Search the enemy ship for signs of life,” Spock ordered as he entered the bridge, shaking with abject rage.  His mate was dead and his sons were suffering from their broken parental bond and he could not comfort them.

He need to calm himself but the only way to do that was to kill Khan.

“Sir, there’s no way anyone survived,” Sulu told him.  

“He could,” Spock snarled in response.

“Yes, sir,” Sulu nodded before searching the wrecked ship for Khan.  A few moments later, he found him and watched as Khan jumped thirty meters from the ship down to the wreckage he'd made in San Francisco. “Whoa!”

“Can we beam him up?” Spock asked, clenching his fists.

“Zere is too much damage,” Chekov said. “I have no incoming signal, but…it may be possible to beam you down.”

Spock nodded and turned to find Uhura standing next to him.  Her eyes were red as she looked at him.

“Go get him,” She told him.

“I am,” Spock replied before rushing form the bridge.

* * *

Bones watched as the hazmat team laid the lead lined body bag on an exam table.  He was close to breaking down ever since he’d gotten the news from Scotty.  He slowly walked over to the bag and unzipped the top, opening it to reveal a lifeless Jim.

Bones stepped back and sniffed to keep back tears as he dismissed the hazmat team and ignored the rest of the crew standing about. He stared at his best friend’s body for a few moments before he had to look away.  He walked over to the table nearby and sat down before putting his head in his hands and starting to cry.

He stopped when he heard a sound next to him.  He looked up from his hands and saw the dead tribble now moving.  Bones leaned forward and watched as it made more noises and moved.  He looked to the computer screen above it and saw normal life signs.

 _Khan’s blood!_ Bones thought before yelling at a nurse, “Get me a cryotube! Now!”

* * *

Spock’s heart raced as he chased down Khan through the streets of San Francisco.  He was gaining on the man and it would only be a matter of time before he had his hands around his throat. 

Khan jumped onto the top of a small cargo carrier as it started to rise from its dock.  Spock gripped his phaser in his hand and jumped after him, grabbing onto the bottom of the carrier and hoisting himself up to the top. 

Khan was immediately on him, knocking the phaser from him and grabbing him up.  Spock grunted as he was thrown against a raised edge but quickly recovered and advanced on Khan, throwing punches and trying to get a grip on him.

He finally was able to grab Khan’s neck in a nerve pinch but found that he was able to withstand it.  Spock growled as he got Khan down onto his knees and was about to punch him again when Khan grabbed his hand and wrenched it back.

Spock took a punch and then knocked Khan back. 

“You killed my mate,” Spock snarled before advancing again.

“Good,” Khan replied before dodging a punch then grabbing Spock’s head between his hands. “You’ll join him soon enough.”

Spock used one hand to grip Khan’s wrist while his other went to the man’s meld points. He pushed into Khan’s head as he felt his skull start to crack from Khan’s pressure.  Spock gritted his teeth and inflicted as much pain as he could into Khan’s head before Khan threw him to the ground then jumped from the carrier down to another. 

Spock didn’t hesitate as he followed, jumping the long way down after Khan. He managed to get Khan pinned and punched him repeatedly, before Khan kicked him off.

“I will destroy your whole family,” Khan said, getting up and kicking Spock in the head. Khan went to do it again but then turned to see Uhura materialize onto the carrier. “I’ll start with her.”

Khan made a move towards Uhura and she fired at him.  It caused Khan to pause in his tracks but he didn’t drop. 

Spock sat up as Uhura kept firing at him.  He looked around then grabbed a heavy metal latch from the side of the carrier, yanking it free before standing up.  He came up behind Khan and knocked him over the head with the latch, causing Khan to stumble and Uhura to step back.

Spock dropped the metal latch then grabbed Khan’s arm, bringing it over his shoulder and snapping it down. Khan cried out at his broken limb.

He heard Uhura call his name, but his mind was only focused on killing Khan. He flipped Khan over and slammed him to the ground before kneeling over him and grabbing the collar of his shirt.

Spock thought of his beautiful mate as he pummeled Khan’s face over and over with his fist.

 _Kill him, kill him, kill him,_ Spock chanted.

“Spock!” Uhura called.

He ignored her, continuing his assault on Khan.

“Spock! Stop!”

“No! He took him! My Jim! My sons’ father! He took him!” Spock yelled, his punching getting harder.

“Stop! Spock, he’s our only chance to save Kirk!”

Spock stopped, his bloodied fist raised up and ready to strike again.  He looked to his friend. “Do not lie to me.”

“I’m not! McCoy can save him. He needs Khan alive though.”

Spock looked down at the beaten and bloodied Khan.  He was stirring a bit, not quite knocked out.  Spock gripped Khan’s collar tight as he pulled him up slightly from the carrier’s ground. “If Jim lives so will you.” Spock then punched him one last time, knocking him out cold.


	14. Daddy Is Resting

Several hours later, Spock sat in the hospital room and stared at Jim.  He was laying motionless in the biobed, where Spock had gently placed him a few hours previous.  He’d demanded that of Bones, that when they transferred Jim to the hospital, Spock would be the one to hold him; to lift him out of the cryotube and onto the bed.  Spock felt nothing from his cold beloved when he did and it pained him.

Jim was now hooked up to machines that were pumping Khan’s blood into him.  Jim’s brain activity was minimal and they hoped it would get better. It had to get better. Jim had to wake up and be okay.

Spock reached his hand out and gently touched Jim’s cold hand. 

“You should go and get some sleep,” Bones said from the doorway.

“I do not wish to leave him,” Spock replied softly, staring at his mate’s face.

Bones walked over and looked over the machine and Jim’s vital signs. He saw no real improvement. “It’s going to take a while. Days, weeks maybe. You can’t sit in here that whole time.”

“I could.”

Bones sighed then walked around the biobed to where Spock sat.  He hesitated for a moment before placing a hand on the Vulcan’s shoulder. “He will wake up. He’s a fighter.”

“I know.”

“How…how are the boys?”

“I believe a mind adept has calmed their broken bonds. I have not spoken to them or my parents.”

“You should.”

Spock looked from Jim to Bones. “I do not feel I am capable of that at the moment.”

Bones squeezed Spock’s shoulders. “I think it would comfort them to see you, Spock.”

Spock nodded.

“Why don’t you get out of here?  Go back to the apartment and relax. Talk to the kids. Meditate.”

“I do not wish to…”

“I’ll be here, Spock.  I’m not going anywhere.  Jim would want you to take care of yourself right now.”

Spock looked back to Jim.  He really did not wish to leave, but Leonard was right. He slowly stood up, Bones’ hand dropping from his shoulder.  Jim took a step closer to Jim’s bed. He leaned down and gently kissed Jim’s forehead, hating how cold the skin felt against his lips.

He reluctantly pulled up and stood up straight.  He felt Leonard touch his shoulder again.

“C’mon, lets fix up those wounds from your fight then you can go home,” Bones told him before leading him out of the room.

* * *

 

Spock trudged towards his home.  He still heard sirens and first responders working through the rubble of the destruction behind him as he walked away. His crew—the ones that were capable—were helping while other ships that had been nearby immediately came to aide.

Under other circumstances, Spock would be there helping as well, but his draining mental faculties were affecting him too much. 

As he continued home, he focused on his bond with his sons. They were well; slightly content and in moderate discomfort.  A mind adept could only do so much. 

Spock didn’t know how long his walk home was but soon found himself standing in the elevator in his building and heading for the right floor.

When the doors open, he exited and walked to the door. Bones had kept a spare key in his office at the hospital and had given it to Spock.  He went inside the apartment, shutting the door behind him and stood in the entry way. The apartment was too quiet.  The boys’ laughter and playing usually filled the space, but they were not there.  Spock hated the quiet.  He clenched his fists as he walked into the living room.  He looked around then grabbed the television controller and turned on a cartoon the boys’ often enjoyed watching. He needed some sound in the apartment.

Tears prickled Spock’s eyes again as he tossed the controller onto the couch before heading into his sons’ room.  He grabbed up their shared naptime blanket from Xander’s bed then headed for his and Jim’s room.

Spock found it like they’d left it.  The bed’s covers in slight disarray. Some of Jim’s clothes were on the floor near the clothes hamper. Spock looked away from it and went to the bed.

He took off his boots and his blue shirt before climbing into the bed on Jim’s side.  He burrowed his face into Jim’s pillow while draping Xander and Soren’s blanket over him.

Spock didn’t want to but ended up crying himself to sleep.

* * *

 

When Spock woke several hours later, he knew he wasn’t alone in the bed.  He slowly opened his eyes and found two little blonde heads curled up next to him.  He blinked, thinking he was illogical hallucinating but quickly realized he wasn’t.  Spock allowed a small smile before wrapping and arm around both his sons who were asleep.

“We got here about three-four hours ago,” he heard his mother softly say.

Spock turned his head and saw her sitting in a chair near the bed. Spock nodded then started to sit up.  He leaned down and kissed the tops of Xander and Soren’s heads before placing their blanket over them.

“Why are you not resting?” Spock ask, sitting up with his back against the headboard.

“I did.  I just woke up not too long ago. How are you?”

Spock glanced to the boys then back to his mother. “Coping.”

She gave him a little smile. “Leonard says that Jim may recover.  That is good.”

“Indeed, but he does not know how long the recovery will take even if Jim wakes.”

“He will wake. He’s a fighter.”

“That is what Leonard said.”

“Well Leonard is right.”

“On the occasion.”

Amanda lightly chuckled before standing up. “Let the boys rest for a little while longer.  I’ll go make you some tea.”

“Thank you, mother.”

Amanda nodded then walked the few feet over to her son. He watched her hesitate but he nodded to her and then found himself wrapped in her warm embrace.

“Jim will get better," she told him, her voice cracking slightly. "It will take time, but he will come back to you and your sons.”

Spock hugged his mother back. “Yes, he will.”

* * *

 

About an hour later, the twins woke up and immediately wrapped their arms around Spock.  He felt their discontent as they lightly sobbed against his shoulders.

“Where daddy?”

“I want daddy?”

Spock hugged them both and tried not to become compromised. “Daddy is…resting right now.”

“We can’t feel him,” Xander sniffled.

“I cannot either, sa-fu, but daddy is at the hospital sleeping.”

“He’s sleeping?” Soren questioned, lifting his head up and looking to his sa-mekh. His brown eyes where watery and his cheeks tinted green. “He needs wake up.”

Spock nodded as Xander looked to him as well, the other twin’s eyes and cheeks matching his brothers.

“He will awake when he is well enough to.  He got hurt and needs to heal.”

“Is he in a trance?” they both asked.

Spock nodded again. Close enough he figured. “Yes, daddy is in a healing trance.”

“Can we see him?”

“Of course, but breakfast first,” Amanda told them from the doorway. “Nana made some French toast.”

Spock stood up with a twin on each hip and carried them to the kitchen table to eat.  They both dove into their breakfast as Spock grabbed a bowl of cut fruit from the table and took a few bites.

“You need to eat more than that,” his mother told him.

“I do not require much nourishment at this time.”

Amanda reached her hand to him and gently caressed the back of his head. “Jim’s not going to like it if you neglect your own health.”

Spock nodded then grabbed a few slices of the French toast and sat at the table with his sons. “Where is father?”

“He and Selik went to see what help they can be with all the damage,” Amanda replied, sitting at the table as well.

“Admiral Marcus…”

“We’re aware.  Your friends filed reports quite quickly.  They didn’t want Jim to be blamed for this like Marcus wanted they said.”

“Can we see daddy now?” Soren asked. 

Amanda and Spock looked to the boy and found he still had French toast on his plate as well as syrup all over his hands, face, and pajama shirt.  They looked to Xander and found he looked the same.

“Finish your breakfast first, then showers, then we will go,” Spock told them.

“I’ll make sure they get showers while you meditate.”

“Mother…”

“I know you need to.  When was the last time?”

Spock lowered his head. “Two point four three days.  I will meditate.”

* * *

 

Spock meditated for an hour. He healed the severed end of his bond and hoped that it would become complete again soon.  His Jim, his las'hark, his t’hy’la, his everything wasn’t there to bring him any peace of mind. He did have the boys; their bonds were shimmering and giving him enough comfort to keep going.

He came out of his meditation and found said sons sitting cross legged in front of him, staring at him with their big brown eyes.

“All clean now,” they told him.

“I see that.”

“You smell though,” Xander said.

“Yeah, you need a bath,” Soren agreed.

“Nana can give you a bubble bath.”

Spock blinked then shook his head. “I have not required a bath from Nana since I was your age.”

“But she’ll give you rubber duckies,” Soren said.

Spock internally chuckled.

* * *

 

Spock watched his sons walk over to Jim’s biobed as Bones reviewed Jim’s vitals. His mother had gone to Starfleet headquarters to meet his father and Selik.  They boys stood on their tiptoes and looked at their daddy. Soren lifted his hand and grabbed Jim’s hand.

“He’s cold,” Soren said.

Xander looked to his brother then grabbed Jim’s hand as well. “Yeah, cold.”

Spock walked over and stood near them as Bones looked to his godsons.

“Must be that the AC is on,” Bones told them with a smile. “How about I go get them to put some heat on?”

“That would be best,” they both said. “Daddy can’t be cold,” Xander told him. “Not while he’s healing,” Soren added.

Bones nodded. “I’ll go get some heat on then.”

Soren and Xander nodded then looked back to their daddy.  Spock picked up one and lifted him onto the bed then picked up the other.  Soren carefully moved to one side of Jim and cuddled against him.  Xander did the same, cuddling against Jim’s other side.

Xander’s head rested over Jim’s heart and he commented that he could hear it beating.

“That means he is healing properly,” Spock said. Spock looked to the monitor and looked over Jim’s vitals.  His heartrate was low, but there. His brain activity was the same as last night.

Spock looked away and back to his sons.  He heard them start to purr.

“Are you trying to make daddy heal faster?” Spock asked them.

“Yeah,” they both said.

“That is logical.”

* * *

 

The boys were napping against Jim as Spock typed reports about Marcus and Khan on his PADD.  He sent them both to Starfleet as the door to the room slid open and Selik entered.

“Spock,” Selik greeted, walking to the foot of the bed.

“Selik,” Spock said, placing his PADD down beside him.

“Dr. McCoy is hopeful that Jim will recover.”

“We all are hopeful.”

“Yes,” Selik agreed before looking to Spock.

“How did you survive?” Spock asked.

“It was a…complicated experience.”

“Did Khan’s blood…”

“No, but I will be here to help with Jim’s recovery when he wakes in any way I can.”

“Thank you.”

Selik nodded then looked back to Jim and the twins.  He gave a light smile at the sight. “They are purring.”

“They believe it will help Jim heal faster,” Spock said, looking to his family.

“Logical.”

“Indeed.”


	15. Awake

_Two Weeks Later_

Spock stared at the normal brain activity on Jim’s vitals monitor.  They had been normal for a little over a week now and Jim’s other vitals were much improved. It gave Spock hope that his mate would return to him soon.  The past two weeks without his bond with Jim had been quite taxing on his mental facilities.  He had the twins and their bonds to focus on and that kept him going.

Spock looked away from the monitor and placed a hand over Jim’s.  It wasn’t cold anymore.  Jim’s skin was slightly pale, but there was pink to his cheeks and lips.  Now, whenever Spock touched him, he could feel Jim’s mind reaching for him weakly.  Spock desperately wanted to meld with Jim, but he’d been advised by his father, Selik, and a mind adept to be patient.

Jim’s eye lids twitched as was the norm the past couple days.  Leonard was sure it wouldn’t be too much longer until Jim woke up.

Spock caressed Jim’s hand then stood up and kissed his clean shaven cheek. He’d shaved Jim that morning after growing irritated by the stumble.  Gaila had stopped by the day before and given Jim’s hair a trim.  Both knew how Jim likes to keep his appearance neat and knew that Jim would be fussy if he woke with a beard and shaggy hair.

Spock nuzzled Jim’s cheek before whispering into his ear, “It would be best for you to wake soon, t’hy’la. Please.”

Spock moved back from the bed. Jim’s hand switched slightly.  Spock sighed then hung his head and reluctantly left.

* * *

 

Jim’s eyes snapped open.  He breathed in and out for a few moments before staring up at the ceiling and realizing where he was.

_Hospital? What?_ Jim blinked a few times and found Bones standing next to the biobed he was in. Bones looked to his friend, relief evident on his face.

“Glad to see you’re back with the living,” Bones said, running a tricorder over Jim’s head.

“Wha…” Jim croaked out, his mouth dry.

“Here, ashayam,” Jim heard.  He turned and found Spock standing on the other side of the biobed, holding a cup of water with a straw. Jim’s eyes lit up and he tried reaching out through their bond but found nothing there.  He winced at the uncomfortableness of being alone in his head.

“Jim, drink,” Spock said, holding the straw to Jim’s mouth.

Jim nodded and took in several big gulps of the water before releasing the straw.  He couched a few times before settling and licking his lips.

“What happened?” Jim asked again, his voice better.

“You were barely dead, that’s what happened,” Bones said as Spock placed a hand over Jim’s.  It tingled where they touched and Jim relished it.

“I died,” Jim said. “But I didn’t?”

“No you died, but you still had some minor brain activity,” Bones told him, placing the tricorder down. “Put your butt into a cryotube for a bit until Spock delivered Khan and his blood to me to do a transfusion.”

 “Khan’s blood has regenerating properties,” Spock said, stroking the back of Jim’s hand with his thumb. “It took two weeks but now you are back to us.”

Jim blinked and took in what his husband and best friend just said. “Transfusion.”

“Your cells were heavily irradiated. We had no choice.”

“Khan’s blood.”

Bones nodded. “I synthesized a serum from his superblood.” Bones then leaned down close to Jim. “You feeling crazy or homicidal? Power mad?”

Jim smiled. “No more than usual.” Jim looked to Spock and licked his lips again. “You caught him?”

“I did.  He harmed you so I had to harm him,” Spock said simply.

“Why can’t I feel you? Our bond?”

Spock looked to Bones and arched a brow.

Bones sighed. “Fine, I’ll give you a few minutes alone.  Just a few though. No funny business. I mean it. Jim has a ways to go to heal before that can happen.”

“Damn, you always take the fun out of everything,” Jim chuckled weakly.

Bones lightly patted Jim’s other arm.  “I’m glad your back, Jim.”  Bones smiled then turned and left the room, giving Spock and Jim there alone time.

Before Jim could ask Spock anything else, the Vulcan carefully climbed onto the bed and laid on his side beside Jim.  Spock pressed his face into Jim’s neck and gently put an arm around his middle. Jim chuckled and moved one of his arms around Spock’s back and rubbed up and down.

“Our bond broke didn’t it?” Jim asked, feeling something wet against his neck. 

“Yes,” Spock breathed out. 

Jim closed his eyes. “It doesn’t feel right.”

“It hurts,” Spock sniffled, rubbed his face into Jim’s neck and breathing in his mate’s sweet scent.

“It’s okay,” Jim assured him. “I’m here. I’m okay now.” Jim smiled when he felt Spock’s chest rumbling. “Again with the purring while I’m in a biobed.”

Spock adjusted himself on the bed, moving his head away from Jim’s neck and propping himself up on his elbow to look down at Jim.  Jim opened his eyes and raised a hand to Spock’s cheek.  He used his thumb to wipe away the tears.

“Can you put the bond back?”

“Yes,” Spock told him. “I will soon.  It would be best to reestablish your bonds with the boys first.”

“The boys.” Jim moved his hand away and tried sitting up but Spock placed his hand on Jim’s chest.

“They are well and my mother will be here soon with them.”

“They’re well?”

Spock nodded. “The broken bonds hurt them at first, but they have gotten better. They have been told that you were not well and had to sleep for a while to heal.”

Jim chuckled. “That’s good.  They’re too young to understand daddy died for a bit but came back.”

“Indeed,” Spock said, trailing his hand up to Jim’s cheek. Jim leaned into the touch as Spock caressed him. Spock’s brown eyes were still watery.

“No more crying,” Jim told him softly. “I was promised an emotionless robot when we got together.  You’re acting human.”

Spock snorted. “You have been awake less than ten minutes and have already insulted me.”

“I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t insult my husband occasionally.”

“Indeed.”

Jim chuckled then grabbed Spock but the collar and pulled him down for a kiss.

“I said no funny business!” Bones fussed from the doorway.

Spock pulled back and growled before kissing Jim’s cheek and getting off the biobed. Jim leaned his head back against the pillow, his eyes getting heavy.

“I’m a bit tired,” Jim admitted.

“Get some rest, Jim,” Bones told him. “You’re going to be weak, I think, for a little while so resting is good.”

Jim’s eyes flutter closed as he felt Spock kiss his temple. “Rest, ashayam. The boys will be here when you wake.”

Jim hummed in response before falling asleep.

* * *

 

The next time Jim woke up it was to the sound of Bones grumbling, something breaking, and two sweet giggles.

“…I told you not to let them grab it,” Jim heard Bones say.

“I did not let them do anything,” Spock replied. “You should not keep breakables in their presence.”

“We’re in a hospital. Everything is breakable.”

Jim smiled as he opened his eyes to see his husband and best friend standing at the foot of his bed. The head of the biobed had been raised up a bit so Jim wasn’t laying completely down.

“What’s up?” Jim asked, causing the two to turn to Jim.

“Your sons,” Bones grumbled, pointing to the side.

Jim turned his head and looked down beside the bed.  His smile went bigger at seeing his blonde-haired, pointy-eared sons destroying a tricorder on the floor.  Jim’s heart fluttered.  He remembered thinking he’d never get to see those beautiful boys again and here they were.

“What are you two terrors doing, huh?” Jim cooed.

Identical brown eyes turned to him. “DADDY!” they both exclaimed before standing up and moving over to the bed. 

Spock walked over and picked up Soren, placing him on the bed where Jim immediately grabbed him and pulled him into a hug.

“My baby boy,” Jim sniffled as Soren cuddled against him. 

Spock picked up Xander and placed him on the bed as well.  Jim moved his other arm out and pulled Xander in for a hug.

“My other baby boy,” Jim said.

“Daddy,” both boys said again, cuddling their daddy.

“I missed you two so much,” Jim told them, trying to not to burst out crying.

After a few moments, Xander and Soren sat back and stared at Jim.

“You better?” Soren asked.

“You sleepy for a long time, daddy,” Xander added.

Jim blinked back tears and nodded. “I know I slept a long time, but I am better now.” He touched their little cheeks and smiled at them. “Look at you two.  You must’ve grown a foot, huh?”

They giggled. “Yep.”

“They have not,” Spock spoke up.

Jim gave Spock a look then focused back on his boys. “Have you boys been behaving for dada?”

“No,” they said, shaking their heads and grinning.

“Good,” Jim chuckled before pulling his sons back in for a hug.


	16. Reestablished Bonds and Midnight Snacks

“Amanda, can’t breathe,” Jim forced out as his mother-in-law hugged him tightly.

“Oh, sorry,” she said before pulling back.  She sniffled then gently touched Jim’s cheeks. “I’m just so glad you’re awake.”

“Me too.”

Amanda stepped back from the bed to stand next to Sarek.  Jim and Sarek had already nodded to one another and that was about as much Jim was going to get from the Vulcan and that was alright with him.  Selik walked over to the bed and went to touch Jim but Spock growled.

“Spock,” Jim tried but Selik lightly chuckled.

“It is alright, Jim,” Selik said. “His mate is awake and he wants touching from others kept to a minimum.”

“No, I want a hug,” Jim demanded before reaching out and pulling the older Vulcan to him.  Spock kept quiet as Jim and Selik hugged for a few seconds then broke away from one another.

“It is good to see you awake as well, Jim,” Selik softly said.

Jim smiled at him then looked to the familiar Vulcan standing near the door. “Didn’t you bond Spock and I a couple years ago?”

“I did,” Iria confirmed before stepping further into the room towards Jim. “Your parental bonds with your sons need to be reestablished.”

Jim nodded. “Yes, I’d like to get that done. I miss the little guys.”

Spock turned towards the small couch in the room and picked up one of the twins, Soren, and placed him on the bed with Jim.  Xander made a face then held his hands up to be picked up as well.

“One moment, Xander,” Spock said before patting his other son on the head. Xander nodded and waited for his turn. He and Soren missed their daddy very much. 

Jim wrapped his arms around Soren, the boys back to his chest, as the mind adept came to stand next to the biobed.

Iria held her hands out to Jim and Soren’s faces and was a mere inches from touching Soren’s meld points when the boy shook his head.

“No,” he fussed.

Jim looked to his son. “Honey, she has to do it.”

“It hurts,” Soren said, touching his head and looking back to his daddy.

_Dammit, don’t cry Jim._ “It will be alright, Soren. She’s going to make it so you and I are connected again. The pain will go away.”

Soren reluctantly nodded and Iria gently put her hands to Jim and Soren’s meld points.

* * *

 

Jim closed his eyes and concentrated on the shimmering bonds he now had back with his boys.  Soren and Xander had been immediately relieved, as had Jim, when the bonds were put back.  Jim cuddled with both of them for a while and sent as much love and affection to them as he could muster.

After an hour, though, dinner time was coming near. The boys didn’t want to leave and neither did Spock so an extra bed and bedding was brought into the room while Amanda and Sarek managed to took the boys to get dinner with the promise that they would be back so everyone can sleep. 

When Jim opened his eyes and found two Vulcans staring at him.  Jim smiled at Spock and Selik. “Can I help you?”

“Are you hungry?” Spock asked.

“Are you tired?” Selik asked.

Jim chuckled. “No and no.”

“You should eat,” Spock said.

“I’m not hungry,” Jim told him as Bones came into the room.

“Doctor, he should eat,” Spock said to Bones.

Bones shook his head. “We just stopped the IV nutrients, Spock. Jim’s fine right now.”

“Fine has variable…”

“Spock,” Jim warned. “I’m not hungry at the moment, but I promise when I do get hungry, I’ll let you know.”

“Yes and when that happens, Jim, here is the menu,” Bones told his friend with a smile as he handed Jim a small laminated paper.

Jim scanned the sheet before making a face and looking to his bestie. “This looks like a senior menu.”

Bones nodded. “Yep. Soft, bland food for you.”

Jim pouted. “But…bacon cheeseburger.”

“No,” Selik, Spock, and Bones said.

Jim rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

* * *

 

Jim watched Spock gently place Soren into the extra bed before coming back over to Jim and taking Xander. Jim smiled as he placed the book he’d read the twins on the table beside his biobed.

“What happened to my pendent?” Jim asked as Spock tucked the sleeping boys into bed and placed their blanket over him.

Spock looked to Jim. “It was exposed to the radiation.”

“I figured that. Couldn’t it be fixed?”

Spock stood and walked over to his mate. “Negative.  It was destroyed.”

“Oh,” Jim sighed before looking past Spock to the twins. “I…I guess that is alright.”

Spock sat on the bed and moved a hand to Jim’s cheek. “I will procure a new one for you.”

Jim smiled and looked to Spock. “Really?”

“Of course.  I have their fetal heartbeats saved on my computer terminal.”

“That’s great, Spock. Thank you.”

“It is no matter.”

Jim moved his hand to Spock’s shirt and pulled him close.  He closed his eyes as their lips gently met.

“I missed you,” Spock said against Jim’s lips.

“Missed you too.”

Spock rested his forehead against Jim’s. “Taluhk nash-veh k'dular.”

“I cherish you as well, Spockums.”

“Please do not call me that.”

Jim chuckled then rubbed their noses together. “Spock?”

“Yes?”

“Will you bond with me?”

Spock pulled back a bit from his mate and cocked his head slightly to the side.  “Why?”

Jim blinked then grinned. “Oh shut up. You said that the first time I asked you.”

Spock gave him a small smirk. “I will bond with you, t’hy’la.”

“Then what are you waiting for, Pointy?”

“You to shut up.”

“Well you’re going to have to wait a long time for that to happen, my love,” Jim teased before kissing Spock again.

When they stopped kissing Spock carefully moved his fingers to Jim’s meld points. The first touch against Jim’s skin was electric. Spock and Jim both sighed in relief as Spock initiated the meld and they were, once again, instantly bonded.

Jim gasped as he closed his eyes and felt that gold bond form between them and he was bombarded with feeling Spock all around him.  He felt that Spock was still scared and hurt from their bond breaking.

_Spock,_ Jim said softly before reaching out and mentally embracing his mate. _I’m here. I’m not going anywhere._

_I am so relieved to have you back,_ Spock replied, his voice quivering. _I missed this._

_As did I and the boys I’m sure._ Jim then yawned as Spock broke the meld and pulled back.

Jim blinked, feeling his eyes get heavy. _Hate that I get tired easily._

_You went through a traumatic experience. Your mind and body need time to fully recover._

Jim nodded and laid back against the bed as Spock kissed his cheek and adjust the head of the biobed down a bit.

“Where are you going?” Jim asked, trying to keep his eyes open.

“Nowhere, ashayam. I will change into pajamas then lay on the couch.  Your bed is too small for both of us to sleep comfortably.”

Jim yawned. “Okie. As long as you’re here when I wake up.”

“Ditto,” Spock replied as Jim drifted off, both comforted that their golden bond was back.

* * *

 

Jim slowly woke up when he felt someone touch his hair.  He waved his hand at the person before mumbling, “Stop it, Spock.”

“I’m not Spock,” the person whispered.

Jim immediately opened his eyes and saw Pike standing over him.  Jim blinked then realized he wasn’t dreaming and grabbed the man and pulled him down into a big hug.

Pike grunt at being manhandled but relaxed and hugged Jim back. “Well it’s nice to see you too, son.”

Jim sniffled, keeping himself back from crying as he clung to Pike. “Thought…thought you were gone.”

“Thought you were gone as well,” Pike said before managing to get Jim to let him go. 

Jim wiped his eyes as he sat up and Pike took a seat on the edge of the bed. “Marcus said you were dead.”

“Nah, I wasn’t. Not completely. Like that princess movie…I was a little dead while you were mostly dead.”

Jim laughed but then stopped when he heard Spock make a sound in his sleep.  He looked over to the Vulcan and saw he was still asleep before huffing out a laugh at Pike. He looked to Pike and smiled. “Did true love bring you back?”

“No, Bones and some magic serum did.  That Khan guy and his blood. Almost makes me feel twenty years younger.”

“Well you don’t look younger.”

“Brat,” Pike said before poking Jim’s leg.  “I still have a ways to go before I’m back to 100%.” Pike nodded to his cane near Jim’s bed. “A lot of physical therapy too.”

“I think I’ll need it as well,” Jim responded before looking at his legs. “Haven’t actually moved them yet.” Jim wiggled his toes for good measure then moved his legs.  They protested a bit but did move. He looked back to Pike and smiled before remembering that Pike had almost died. He blinked back the tears again as Pike touched his shoulder.

“Its okay, Jim.  Everything is fine now.”

“Fine has variable…”

“You finish that and I won’t share the snacks I nicked from the nurses station.”

Jim sniffled and smiled. “I just…thought you were gone, dad, and there’s just so much that…that we needed to talk about and…”

“We have time, son,” Pike interrupted, moving his hand to Jim’s cheek. “We’ll talk about a lot of stuff, just not tonight.”

Jim nodded. “So um…what snacks do you have?”

Pike moved his hand away and dug into his robe’s pockets before pulling out a couple jello cups, candy bars, juice pouches, and fruit snacks.

“You nicked a lot,” Jim chuckled as he reached for candy bar.

“No,” they heard Spock say.

Jim sighed as he glanced to his sleeping mate who was laying on his side on the couch, staring at them.  Jim held Spock’s gaze as he moved his hand to the orange jello cup.  Spock nodded.  Jim shook his head then took the jello and a spoon from Pike before starting to eat his snack.

“Can we have the candy?” the twins then asked, appearing beside the bed.

“No,” Jim and Spock both said.

“PawPaw?” the twins looked to Pike and asked, staring up at him with their big brown eyes.

“How about some fruit snacks?” Pike offered.

“That is acceptable,” Spock replied.

“Eat the snacks then back to bed,” Jim told his sons as they took the fruit snacks from their PawPaw.

The twins grinned then turned and took off running out of the room.  Jim sighed as Spock jumped from the couch and quickly went after them.

“Terrors,” Jim chuckled.

“But they’re cute,” Pike said before sneaking a piece of chocolate to Jim while Spock was out of the room.

Jim popped the candy piece into his mouth and grinned as Spock mentally fussed at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Semester is done! Just waiting for one grade to come in and then I can relax :)  
> I am going out of town next week, so I will try and get some chapters finished before then :)


	17. Bacon Cheeseburger

Jim panted lightly as he dropped down to the floor in the physical therapy room.  Spock was immediately there, kneeling next to him.

“I’m fine,” Jim told him.

“Fine has…” Spock trailed off when Jim glared at him.

Jim moved his legs under him before grabbing one of the parallel bars above him.  Spock gently touched his waist as Jim struggled to pull himself back to his feet.

“I hate this,” Jim fussed as he kept himself steady holding onto both bars on either side of him. “I just want to walk out of here.”

“Soon, ashayam,” Spock told him. “It has only been four days since you came out of your coma. Your recovery will take some time."

Jim nodded then tried walking again.  He just needed to make it to the end of the bars.  His legs protested and shook but Jim yelled at himself not to fall again. With Spock’s gentle hold, Jim made it to the end and promptly plopped down into the wheelchair there.

“Fuck,” Jim groaned. “I hate this.”

“You have already stated that.”

Jim shook his head at his mate as Spock knelt before him and massaged his legs. Jim admired his Vulcan for taking care of him despite Jim’s bitching.

“I love you.”

Spock’s brown eyes looked up to him. “I know.”

Jim chuckled. “Pointy eared jerk.”

“If you continue to insult me than you will not get that bacon cheeseburger later.”

Jim’s eyes widened. “You snuck me some contraband into the hospital?”

“Against my better judgement, yes.  You have been working quite hard lately and I do not see the harm in a small bacon cheeseburger.  If you can walk from here back to the room.”

Jim threw his head back and groaned.  He then thought about that juicy burger and nodded. “Fine, I’ll do it. Just help me up.”

“Of course,” Spock said before standing up and taking Jim’s hands.  Jim smiled as his Vulcan gently helped him out of the chair to lean against him.

“Let’s do this,” Jim told Spock. 

* * *

 

Jim made grabby hands and pouted as Bones grabbed the bag with the burger in it away from Spock.

“No, it’s mine,” Jim whined.

“I want you on soft food, Jim,” Bones grumbled.

Jim glared. “My bodily functions are fine, Bones. I want that damn burger. I'll get whatever you tell me after this, I promise.”

“Just one burger, Leonard,” Spock tried, looking to the doctor. “Please.”

Bones blinked at the Vulcan. “Did you just say…please?”

“Yes and I will not repeat it.”

Bones sighed but then handed over the burger. “Just this once until I say you can have more.”

Jim smiled brightly and nodded before grabbing the bag and tearing the burger from it.

Bones shook his head and he looked over Jim’s vitals as Jim took a big bite of his bacon cheeseburger.  Spock sat on the edge of Jim’s bed and went to pick up his PADD when he noticed Jim’s face turn a little green.

“Jim?” Spock questioned.

Jim blinked before throwing up on Spock. 

“Dammit, Jim!” Bones fussed, paging a nurse to come assist with the cleanup.

“’m sorry,” Jim sighed.  He looked to his husband. “Really sorry.”

“It is…alright,” Spock told him, standing up and starting to remove his clothes.

Jim nodded as a nurse came in with clean sheets and a new gown for Jim. 

“At least I get to see you undress,” Jim lightly chuckled. “That’s always nice.”

“Jim,” Bones grumbled as Spock arched a brow at his mate.

* * *

 

A few hours later, before it was time for bed, the twins wanted to play with Jim.

“Daddy, I win,” Soren announced, moving his checker piece five spots to the end then push off all of Jim's checker pieces.

Jim chuckled as Spock arched a brow at the move.

“That is not a…”

“He wins, Spock,” Jim interrupted.

“I play now,” Xander said, climbing onto the hospital bed next to his daddy.

“No, I play,” Soren told him.

“Nuh-uh!”

“Boys, behave,” Jim said. “Soren, it is your brother’s turn.  You get to play with sa-mekh right now.”

Soren pouted but nodded and allowed his father to lift him off the bed so Xander could take his spot. Soren grabbed a toy starship and held it out to Spock as Xander and Jim started playing checkers.

Spock lightly smiled at his son and took the starship. He pretended to fly it around the boy as he made the appropriate noises causing Soren to giggle.

Jim looked to his husband and other son fondly before focusing back on Xander. “You move first.”

Xander smiled then grabbed a piece and moved it four spots before saying ‘king me’.

Jim chuckled and placed a checker piece on top of Xander’s before moving his own piece a few times on the board. 

_That is not how checkers is played, Jim._

_It is when you have two two-year-olds, Spock._

_Illogical._

_Indeed._

* * *

 

Later that night, Jim sighed and kicked off his covers. He looked to Spock and found him in deep meditation on the floor in the corner. He sat up and saw the twins snuggled together sound asleep.  Jim sighed again before carefully getting out of bed and slowly walking to the door. 

He let himself out and managed to make it down the hall to an empty wheelchair before plopping down in it. 

 _I hate this,_ he thought before rolling himself down the hallway further until he came to a waiting area that overlooked the city.  He wheeled himself to a window and stared out at San Francisco.  There were still cranes and other machinery in the distance continuing with the clean up after Khan.

“Making a break for it?” Pike’s stepped next to Jim and asked.

“Wish I could.  Spock and Bones wouldn’t let me get far.”

Pike nodded and pulled a seat over and sat next to Jim.  “Can’t sleep?”

“I sleep alright for a few hours then wake up.  Spock usually helps me get back to sleep but he’s meditating right now.”

“Bad dreams?”

“Yeah. Khan’s made a nice home right here for the time being,” Jim said, pointing to his head. “But I had bad dreams before this and Spock…being close to him when we sleep helps a lot.  He can’t really join me in the small hospital bed.”

“I am sure once you’re out of here, you’ll sleep better.”

“Me too,” Jim said before looking to Pike. “Since…Marcus is gone…who’s in charge now?”

“Nogura.”

Jim nodded. “Nogura is a good man. Good officer.”

“He’s what Starfleet needs right now.”

“You would have been good too.”

Pike chuckled then placed a hand on Jim’s shoulder. “Not quite ready for that.”

Jim looked out at the city and shook his head. “What was the loss of life?”

Pike squeezed his shoulder. “You don’t want to know that right now, son. Just focus on your recovery. Spock has filed his reports as well as the rest of your crew.  No one blames you at all for anything of this.”

“I still…feel there was more I could’ve done to prevent this,” Jim told him feeling his heart grow a bit heavy.

“Don’t do that to yourself, Jim.  You all did the best you could stopping Khan.  He would’ve done so much more damage if it wasn’t for you and your crew.”

Jim nodded. “Where is he by the way?”

“Frozen away. Hopefully for good. Spock did a real number on him.”

Jim snorted. “And they say Vulcans are pacifists.”

Pike chuckled. “When it comes to you and your sons, Spock surely is not.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without him.”

“Be more of a pain in my ass.”

Jim laughed and nudged against Pike.

 _Jim, where are you?_ Spock asked, sounding just a little worried.

_Down the hall in a waiting area with Pike._

_Come back._

Jim sighed and looked to the older man. “Spock calls.  Have to get back.”

“Need a push?”

Jim raised a brow and looked to the other man’s cane.

“Oh shut up,” Pike huffed before standing up.

Jim smiled then wheeled himself away from the window and back down the hall with Pike.  When Jim was almost there, he saw Spock standing in the doorway to his room.  Jim stopped the chair and then stood up.  He wobbled on his feet slightly but Pike grabbed him by the elbow to steady him as Spock watched.

“I got it,” Jim told him before slowly making his way towards his husband, keeping one hand on the wall just in case.

“I made sure he didn’t cause any trouble,” Pike told Spock when they got to the room.

Spock nodded and helped Jim back to the bed.

“Night, Chris,” Jim called as he got into bed.

“Goodnight, Jim. And Spock, help him with those nightmares,” Pike said before glancing to the sleeping terrors and leaving.

“Nightmares?” Spock asked, tucking Jim back into the bed.

“Just a small one,” Jim sighed.

“You should have roused me from my meditation. I would have assisted in helping you back to sleep.”

“I don’t want to have to rely on you to help me sleep, Spock.  I…I was fine with my nightmares before we got together.”

Spock arched a brow at his mate. “We are t’hy’la. Mates. It is my responsibly to help you in any way I can.  Were those not also our wedding vows as well?”

Jim chuckled. “Yeah, yeah, in sickness and in health blah blah.  I just…”

“Please, Jim,” Spock asked, placing his hand to Jim’s cheek and caressing him.

Jim looked into those big brown eyes and caved.  Spock was his everything and Jim sort of like having a good nights sleep. He gave Spock a warm smile before nodding.

Spock’s hand moved and spread out on Jim’s meld points.  Jim closed his eyes as Spock eased into his mind and helped him push away the nightmares that had earlier plagued his sleep.  Jim watched the image of Khan smirking at him dissolve and be replaced by a happy memory of the twins.

Jim felt himself grow tired as Spock eased out of his head. 

“Sleep, ashayam. I will be here when you wake,” Spock said softly before kissing Jim’s forehead.

Jim fluttered his eyes closed and nodded. “Never leave.”

“As you wish.”

Jim huffed out a light laugh as he grew sleepier. “Don’t quote _Princess Bride_ at me.”

“Go to sleep, Jim.”

“You got to sleep.”

“Both you go sleep!” Xander and Soren fussed at them.


	18. Goodbye Hospital

Jim sat outside in the small garden behind the hospital and relaxed; basking in the sunlight and enjoying some peace away from the nurses, Bones, and his hovering husband.  Spock had left an hour previous for a meeting with the brass with Chris who had been released a day prior.

 _Lucky,_ Jim thought.  It had been a little over a week since he’d woken up and he was quite tired of the hospital.  He was glad he managed to escape outside when he had the chance.

“You are looking well, Jim,” a familiar voice said from behind him. 

Jim smiled as he turned his head and looked to Selik. “All thanks to Bones and not letting me have junk food or fun.”

Selik nearly smiled as he walked over to Jim and sat next to him on the bench. “I take it that no one is aware you are out here?”

“I don’t think so.  Maybe.  I just needed some fresh air.”

“Understandable.  Where are Xander and Soren?”

“Amanda picked them up after breakfast. I don’t want them cooped up with me in the hospital all day.  I think she took them to the children’s museum to play.”

“She loves doting on her grandsons.”

“She’s amazing. Especially keeping up with the twins right now. Don’t know what I’d do without her. Or Sarek,” Jim paused then looked to Spock Prime. “Or you for that matter.”

“And your mate.”

Jim chuckled. “Yeah, him too.”

Selik chuckled as well. 

Jim leaned his shoulder against the older Vulcan’s and relaxed. “I want to get out of here.”

“I am aware,” Selik replied as he wrapped an arm around Jim. “Perhaps soon.”

“Perhaps today.  I could easily just get into a cab and leave.”

“I am certain that Doctor McCoy will allow you to leave quite soon, young one.  You are walking much better now and are on semi-solid foods.  Your health is his and all of our top priority.”

Jim nodded. “Spock told me you died in your time. How long was your recovery?”

“My recovery was quite different than yours, but it was months…almost a year before I was back to my old self.”

Jim groaned. “Months to a year. Fun.  I just want to stop being fussed over. I want to spend this down time playing with my sons, teaching at the academy, doing something other than being babied.”

Selik turned his head and kissed Jims’ temple. “Soo..”

“If you say soon, old one, I’ll change all your clothes to pink ones with floral prints.”

Selik shook his head and kept quiet.

“That’s what I thought.”

“You thought what, ashayam?” Spock asked, walking up to where Jim and Selik sat. Spock stared pointedly at Selik’s arm around Jim.

Jim moved back from Selik slightly as his mate’s counterpart removed his arm from around Jim’s shoulders.

“We’re just talking, Spock,” Jim said, standing up from the bench without struggling.

“About what?”

“Jim is ready to leave the hospital,” Selik replied.

Spock opened his mouth to respond but Jim held his hand up and stopped him.

“Spock, don’t, okay. I’m tired of being here. I’m tired of being fussed over. The boys being here all the time isn’t good either. I walked my ass down here all by myself, granted I got a little tired, but still, I got here. I am ready to leave.”

Spock blinked then asked, “May I speak?”

Jim nodded.

“I was going to say, before you interrupted me, that I know you want to leave. I discussed this with Leonard upstairs a few moments ago and he has agreed to release you. Today.”

Jim’s eyes slowly widened as he took in this new information.  He then smiled brightly and threw himself into Spock’s arms. “YES! I get to leave! My own bed! My boys at home! Spock, you are the bestest Vulcan ever!”

Spock hugged his mate back and held him as he looked at Selik over Jim’s shoulder. “I saw you kiss him.”

Selik chuckled. “I am not sorry.”

* * *

 

Jim held his sons’ hands as they exited the elevator and headed towards their apartment door. Spock, Bones, and Selik followed right behind with Spock holding the bags.

“We made you pictures,” Soren said.

“Yes, and cards,” Xander added.

Jim smiled, so happy that he was finally home. “I can’t wait to see them.”

When they got to the door, Bones used his spare key to open the door.  The twins pulled their daddy into the apartment and into the living room where they were greeted by their friends.

“Welcome home!” they all shouted.

Jim was taken back for a moment but then smiled cheerfully at seeing them all: Sulu, Scotty, Chekov, Uhura.  Amanda and Sarek had already said they would stop by later.

“Hey!” Bones fussed. “I said no parties!”

“Its not a party,” Sulu replied.

“Yeah, its more like a wee social gathering,” Scotty added.

“I bring Borscht!” Chekov spoke up pointing to the kitchen. “Good for illness and making one stronger.”

Uhura walked up to Jim and pulled him into a hug. She whispered into his ear, “We didn’t tell him to bring that purple stuff, Captain.”

Jim chuckled and hugged her back. When they parted, Jim was then hugged by the rest of his friends.

“Jim needs to rest, not be manhandled by all of you,” Bones gripped before ushering Jim to sit down on the couch.

“You’re the one manhandling me, Bones,” Jim told him as the twins climbed onto the couch beside their daddy and showed him the cards and pictures they made. Jim took them and looked at each one. “These are great, boys.  I love the colors.”

“Nana said use happy colors,” Xander told him.

“We use all colors,” Soren nodded.

Jim smiled at his boys. “I see that. I love all of these. Thank you.”

“You welcome!” they both replied before getting down off the couch and running towards their room.

“They are a handful, huh?” Sulu asked.

Jim looked to him and sighed. “Handful is an understatement.”

“Indeed,” Spock agreed.

“How are…” Uhura tried to ask but Jim gave her a look.

“Look, everyone, can we just…forget I was in the hospital and talk about normal stuff, please.  I’m…”

“Tired of being fussed over,” Selik, Bones, and Spock interrupted at the same time.

Sulu, Uhura, and Chekov laughed as Jim shook his head.

“Hey, Spock has to stay,” Jim said before pointing at Bones and Selik. “You two can be made to leave.”

Selik gave a small smile before holding his hands up and moving to take a seat in an empty chair nearby.  Bones put his hands on his hips and stared his friend down.

“I am a doctor and…”

“Spock, throw him out.”

“Gladly,” the Vulcan said before advancing on the Bones. 

Bones’s eyes widened as he backed away from Spock.  Jim laughed and shook his head.

“Nah, never mind, Spock.  Leave him be.”

Spock glanced to his mate before looking back to Bones. “A pity.” Spock then turned and went back over to Jim and sat down next to him.

Bones gaped at Spock before puffing out his chest and walking back to the group.

“Anyway,” Jim said, looking around the room at his friends. “I just want to thank you all for everything. What happen with…Khan…and afterwards with Starfleet and the reports.  You all didn’t have to…”

“Jim, we did have ta,” Scotty interjected with Sulu, Uhura, and Chekov nodding in agreement.

“You do so much for all of us, Jim,” Sulu said.

“We’re a family. We look out for each other,” Chekov added.

“And you…may be the best captain and friend any of us could have,” Uhura finished. “We love you and we’d do anything to protect you. And Spock.”

Spock felt Jim’s amazement, happiness, and love for their friends well up in their bond.  Spock sent the same emotions back before taking Jim’s hand in his.

“Thank you. All of you,” Jim finally spoke, trying to keep tears back. “You’re the best crew a captain could ask for.”

"We know," they replied. 

Jim laughed. 

* * *

 

A few hours late and after his friends had left, Jim sat at the kitchen table with his sons in their booster seats on either side of him while Bones, Selik, Spock, and Amanda argued in the kitchen over what should be dinner.  Amanda had brought a bag of some items, one of which had smelled good to Jim.

Sarek sat across from Jim with a blank expression.

“I’m thinking I’d rather just eat that borscht,” Jim said.

“I would not mind partaking in the Russian dish either, James,” Sarek replied.

“Ucky purple soup,” Soren said with his brother nodding in agreement.

Jim chuckled then ruffled his sons’ hair. “Yeah, ucky soup.”

“Okay, here is dinner,” Amanda announced coming out of the kitchen when a tray.  She placed the tray on the middle of the table and then setting plates down in front of the twins that had chicken and rice and a small salad. For Jim she sat down a big bowl and for a moment Jim was scared it was the borscht.

Jim looked down and smiled at seeing a delicious looking seafood stew. “Did you just make this?”

“No, I bought it from that place you like down the block,” Amanda replied.

“Yes!” Jim exclaimed before digging into his seafood stood.  He moaned as Spock and the others came out of the kitchen.

 _T’hy’la, do not be obscene,_ Spock said as he placed a bowl of borscht down in front of his father before sitting next to Soren with his own bowl of purple soup.

 _Spock, this is delicious and after a week of ucky hospital food, I will moan if I want to,_ Jim replied.

Spock looked at him with a raised brow before shaking his head. _You are illogical._

_You love me._

_I cherish thee._

Bones and Selik took their seats along with Amanda. Bones had some of the seafood stew while Selik and Amanda had the borscht.

* * *

 

The twins were surprisingly well behaved and didn’t try and start any food fights throughout dinner.  After everyone had finished, Jim hugged Selik goodbye as the older Vulcan had to leave. 

“I shall return tomorrow if you wish,” Selik said.

Jim smiled and shook his head. “I’m going to have to say no. Its not that I don’t love your company, I just want…”

“Some peace and quiet with your mate and sons,” Selik finished. “I understand.  Please do not hesitate to contact me if you need anything.”

Jim hugged Selik again before pulling away and seeing him out the door. 

Jim turned around after shutting the door behind Selik to find Bones standing there with a tricorder in his hands.

“Bones,” Jim groaned. “I am feeling fine.”

“I just…”

“No, stop it,” Jim snapped, snatching the tricorder from his friend. “I love you, but stop right now.” Jim regretted snapping when he saw Bones’ eyes sadden.  “Oh, Len,look..”

“Jim, I wish I could just stop, but I can’t,” Bones said. “You…you were gone and there was nothing I could do and then there was and now…now I have to make sure you’re not going to leave again.”

Jim sniffled and dropped the tricorder before the two friends hugged each other tightly.  “I’m sorry to say this but you’re stuck with me forever, Bones.”

Bones snorted and then sniffled. “That’s just fine.  Always wanted an annoying little brother.”

Jim chuckled. “Can’t get any more annoying than me, huh?”

“No.”

 .

.

.

“Jim?”

“Yes.”

“That tricorder was expensive.”

Jim sighed and pulled back from his friend. Jim smiled then planted a kiss a big kiss on Bones’ cheek.

“Ugh, Jim, don’t do that,” Bones fussed, pulling himself away from Jim and wiping off his cheek.

Jim laughed. “Love you too, Bones.”

“Yeah, yeah, love you too, kid, but stop kissing me. The hobgoblin always growls at me even if its your fault.”

Jim smiled and nodded. “I know.”  Jim then yelled down the hallway, “Spock! Bones is trying to get friendly with me!”

Bones’ eyes widened as Spock appeared and narrowed his eyes at him.

“Doctor, I believe you were leaving,” Spock said, holding a hand out to his mate while keeping his eyes locked on Bones.

Jim took Spock’s hand and was pulled to his Vulcan’s side.

“Right, yes, I was leaving,” Bones said. “I left all the care plan items in the kitchen and some hypos if he needs it.”

“Thank you, Leonard.”

“Care plan? Hypos?” Jim questioned but was ignored as Bones left the apartment and Spock ushered Jim back to the living room. “Ya’ll ganging up on me again?”

“Of course.”

Jim shook his head then looked to his in-laws sitting with the twins. “Amanda, I told Selik not to come around for a few days.”

Amanda looked quizzical. “I see.”

“And the same goes for you.”

“Pardon?”

Jim walked over to his mother-in-law and saw down next to her on the couch. “I am so, so grateful for everything you’ve done since Spock and I left to deal with Khan. But I think now is time for you and Sarek to have a break. Let me and Spock take care of our sons now.”

“Jim, I love helping you two with Soren and Xander.”

“I know and I want you to be as involved as you want, but now is time for you to have a much needed break. Play with your husband.”

Sarek arched a brow as Spock closed his eyes and shook his head.

Amanda chuckled. “Alright.  I’ll take a break, but you will…”

“Call you if we need you,” Jim interrupted. “We promise.”

* * *

 

A few hours later, Jim sat on the bathroom floor soaking wet as Soren slashed around in the tub.

Spock appeared in the doorway holding a dripping wet and soapy Xander in his arms.

Jim looked to his mate, “We’re not calling her.”

Spock internally sighed but nodded. “They are our sons. We can manage them.”

“Right. We did so for nearly a year without her just fine. We can handle this.”

“Affirmative,” Spock agreed, walking over and placing Xander in the tub with his brother.  He went to turn around but his footing slipped on the wet floor and backwards he went, landing in the tub between his sons.

Jim’s eyes widened for a moment but then he laughed.  Soren and Xander joined in the laughter before dumping more water onto their sa-mekh in the tub with them.

 _You okay, Spock?_ Jim asked.

_I am fine._

_Fine has variable definitions._

_I will take you back to the hospital._

Jim feigned a look of horror before grabbing the bubble bath liquid and dumping more into the tub. “Boys, make dada all bubbly.”

“Yay!” the both explained before doing just that.

Spock stared straight ahead at his mate while bubbles were put all over him. _You will pay, ashayam._

Jim gave him a warm smile in return. His blues eyes twinkling in wonderment. “Oh how I missed this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that I haven't been updating this once a week like usual. I am starting to get done with this story. I thought I had it in me to write more with Jim's recovery and so on but I just don't. I have really enjoyed writing this story but I will be ending it soonish. Not sure how many more chapters, but I have a plan...sort of :)  
> Thank you all who have read, commented, and left kudos!


	19. Need You

Jim stared at the sight of his sleeping sons in their beds where they belonged. He hated seeing them sleeping in the hospital.

“They are beautiful,” Spock said softly beside him.

“Well I did make them,” Jim replied, leaning against Spock’s side.

“I helped.”

Jim lightly chuckled and turned to his mate. “You made a deposit in a cup. I did all the work making and carrying them.”

Spock shook his head then nudged Jim out of the room.  He closed the boys’ door a tab, leaving enough of a gap for the hallway light to stream in.

Jim smiled at Spock before taking his hand and pulling him towards their bedroom. Spock obediently followed but hesitated in the doorway to their room, causing Jim to drop his hand. Jim faced him and wrapped his arms around Spock’s shoulders.

"Spock," Jim sighed out, sending lusty feels through their bond. 

“I do not believe copulation would be…”  Spock tried but Jim silenced him with a chaste kiss.

“I’ve missed you,” Jim said, his lips brushing Spock’s.

Spock swallowed and rested his forehead against Jim’s. “I have not gone anywhere, ashal-veh.”

“No, but we haven’t been able to sleep together in weeks. I need you.”

“You just woke…”

“That was a week ago, Spock. I am feeling better. I just…I need you. Please.”

Spock pulled back slightly to look into Jim’s electric eyes. He could feel Jim’s need but also felt some anxiety. “Jim, perhaps you need more time…”

“Fuck that, Spock,” Jim interrupted. “Sorry. I just...please stop treating me like an invalid. Yes I died and came back and I’m sure they’ll be some more side-effects to that that will pop up later. I just…I need you to stop treating me like I’m about to break, because I assure you, I am not. Its been ages since you’ve held me and that’s what I need right now. Not rest and taking it easy…”

Spock cut him off by pulling him close and claiming his mouth.  Jim gasped into the kiss before relaxing and giving back just as good as Spock gave.  The Vulcan’s chest rumbled in a deep groan before he moved his hands down to Jim’s ass and squeezed. He lifted Jim up and carried him to the bed, kicking the door shut behind him.

Their bond flared up as Spock laid Jim down on the bed and got on top of him, breaking the kiss and nuzzle Jim’s neck.

“I have missed you as well, t’hy’la,” Spock sighed before biting not so gently at Jim’s neck.

Jim mewled before arching up against Spock. _Need you._

Spock sat up and quickly divested them of their clothes before grabbing protection from their night stand. Jim stroked Spock as the Vulcan make work at preparing his mate. After a few weeks, Jim was almost unbearably tight around Spock’s fingers.

When Spock finally settled over Jim a few moments later, the blonde ran his hands down Spock’s bareback as Spock slowly eased his arousal into him.

“Spock,” Jim moaned, wrapping his legs tight around Spock’s hips. He looked up at Spock, his blue eyes shimmering and wet.

Spock stared down, his own eyes equally turbulent. Through their bond, both were overwhelmed by the other.  Spock started to move his hips, keeping his eyes on his mate. Jim moved one hand to Spock’s cheek and caressed it.

“Meld with me,” Jim said, his voice gentle and slightly quaking.

Spock nodded and raised a hand to Jim’s meld points and pushed in. Jim latched onto him and sent as much love and passion as he could as Spock’s thrusts sped up. Jim clenched around him as they both drew close to completion. Jim arched his back and moaned Spock’s name as the Vulcan was in him and around Jim.

_Jim,_ Spock mentally groaned before manipulating their bond to give Jim more pleasure as his thrusts grew erratic.

Jim threw his head back and cried out, reaching his climax and coating his and Spock’s stomachs with his release.  Spock thrust a few more times before Jim sent a pulse of lust to him and told him to come. Spock broke the meld and buried his face in Jim’s neck as thrust into Jim deep and came.

Jim wrapped his arms around him and held him as they calmed down.

_I love you,_ Jim said.

_Taluhk nash-veh k'dular._

* * *

Spock woke early and found the spot where Jim should be next to him was empty. He creased his eyebrows together before hearing the television on in the living room.  Spock got out of bed and pulled on a robe before leaving the room to find his mate.

The sun had not fully risen outside as Spock entered the room. The window blinds where still down and the living room was dark except for the light of the TV.  Jim sat on the couch cross legged with a PADD in his lap.

“It is early,” Spock said. “Come back to bed.”

Jim looked up from the PADD and shook his head. “Not tired.”

“Did you have a bad dream?”

Jim shrugged and looked back to the PADD.  Spock walked over and sat next to him. He saw Starfleet reports pulled up on the PADD’s screen and internally sighed.

“Ashayam, you shouldn’t concern yourself with…”

“Spock,” Jim warned.

Spock shut up. 

Jim sighed and leaned back against the couch. “Sorry. Look, I’ll need to look over everything sooner or later and I don’t want to wait.”

“Your mental health…”

“Is the same as it’s always been,” Jim said before looking to Spock. “I died and came back. Like I said last night, side-effects to that will probably pop up but besides the coma and other shit, my mental health is the same. My nightmares include another lunatic now. What’s new?”

“Perhaps seeing a psychiatrist?”

Jim groaned and pouted at Spock. “Can’t you just be my psychiatrist?”

Spock huffed. “I am not certified in the field of psychiatry.”

Jim chuckled. “But you’re my bondmate and make my bad dreams go away. You know more about me than anyone…maybe besides Bones. So what’s a psychiatrist going to do? I’ve been to one before, after Tarsus, didn’t like it.”

“What did you not like?”

Jim shrugged. “For one, I refused to talk about what happened there or to me. She knew I’d…lost a pregnancy and the events surrounding me getting pregnant, but I wouldn’t talk about it.”

“What did you talk about?”

“I don’t know. School, chess, what little arguments my mom and I got into.”

“What about your stepfather?”

Jim shook his head. “Mom wised up to his abuse after I had come home. Kicked him out so I saw no reason to talk about him. Anyway, the shrink would try and pry more stuff out of me but I’d change the subject. After a few months, I just stopped going. I’m better at just…keeping moving, you know. If I stop and dwell on all the bad shit that’s happened to me over the years, I’d get nowhere. So…no therapy.”

“What if Starfleet...”

“I’ll deal with that if it comes to it.”

Spock nodded. “I will stand by whatever you want, t’hy’la.”

Jim smiled at him. “Thank you, ashayam.”

Spock gave a small smile in return before grabbing the PADD from Jim. “I still do not think you should be worrying yourself over Starfleet business for another week or so. Rest, relax, and be here with me and our sons.”

Jim reluctantly nodded.

“Do wish to return to bed?” Spock asked.

“No. Wanna watch a movie with me. The two of us haven’t done that in a while.”

“I would like that,” Spock replied, pulling Jim into his lap and picking up the remote to choose a feature for them to watch.

* * *

Jim woke up when a little hand lightly slapped his cheek.  He opened his eyes and found two sets of brown eyes staring at him. Jim smiled and sat up on the couch.

“Morning, little guys,” Jim greeted his sons. "Who hit me?

“Morning, daddy,” they both replied.

"Who hit me?"

“Why you sleeping on the couch?” Soren asked, avoiding the question.

Jim chuckled. “Sa-mekh and I were watching a movie and I must’ve fallen asleep.”

“You did,” Spock replied, coming into the room from the kitchen and handing Jim a cup of coffee.

Jim took the offered cup and sipped it as Spock ushered the boys back into the kitchen.

“What time is it?”

“A little after 8. I made pancakes.”

Jim smiled. “What a perfect husband you are.”

Spock nodded. “Indeed.”

Jim chuckled and stood up before following after their sons.  "How wants to go to the zoo?"

"We do!" came excited replies. 

 

* * *

 

**_Two Months Later_ **

Jim and Spock stood at attention in their dress uniforms in front of Nogura and the other admirals in a conference room at Starfleet.

“Captain Kirk,” Nogura said. “How are you?”

“I’m good, Sir,” Jim replied.

“Doctor McCoy says your recovery is progressing well.  You’ve started taking an active role back in at Starfleet. Helping to oversee some recovery efforts and speaking to some classes.”

Jim nodded then glanced to where Pike was sitting.

“The admiralty and I have been having numerous discussion over where to go next. More specifically with you and your crew.”

_What’s going on?_ Jim wondered.

_I do not know,_ Spock replied.

Nogura smiled at Jim and Spock. “What do you think of a five year mission?”

Jim processed what the Admiral just said and kept his expression schooled as he mentally yelled for joy. “That…that is a wonderful idea, Sir.”

“Glad you think so,” Nogura said before looking to Pike.

Pike nodded and sat up straight and looked to Jim and Spock. “In one year, you and the crew of the starship Enterprise will be departing on Starfleet’s first ever five year mission.”

_Oh my god, oh my god! Spock! Five years!_

_I am aware. You are being loud, t’hy’la._

“Thank you, Admirals, ”Jim managed to say. 

“I believe that is a first,” Pike commented, chuckling and looking to his fellow admirals. “Kirk unable to say more than a few words.”

* * *

“Five years!” Jim shouted once they were outside the building.

Spock winced at Jim’s loudness before shaking his head and heading for their hovercar.

“Spock! Five years!”

“I heard, Jim. I was in the room.”

“You, me, the boys, the crew! Five years!”

Spock turned to his mate. “And you get to tell my mother.”

Jim’s smile fell. “Ah, dammit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe one more chapter left :)


	20. Space, the Final Frontier

**_February 12 th—Ten Months Later_ **

Jim smiled as he watched his almost three year old sons rush towards their grandparents and Selik as they disembarked the shuttle.

“Nana!” they both exclaimed, hugging Amanda.

“My boys have gotten so big,” Amanda cooed, kneeling down and hugging her grandbabies. “Its been so long since I’ve seen you both.”

“Mother, we were just on New Vulcan for Christmas and New Years one point…” Spock tried but went quiet when his mother gave him a look.

Jim chuckled and nudged Spock before walking over to Selik and hugging him. “How was the trip?”

“I have no complaints,” Selik replied, hugging Jim back for a moment before releasing him when Spock started growling. “I know, I know, he is yours.”

Spock nodded and wrapped his arm around Jim’s waist and pulled him back to his side.

Jim shook his head and smiled at Amanda as the boys went to Sarek and gave him hugs. “Good to see you again too, Amanda.”

Amanda nodded and kissed Jim’s cheek. “We have a birthday to plan don’t we?”

“Yeah, don’t remind me,” Jim sighed. “Can’t believe they’re three already.”

“They grow up fast but will still be your babies,” Amanda told him before pulling Spock in for a big hug and refused to release him for a while.

Spock looked to his father for help but the older Vulcan shook his head and proceeded to escort his grandsons out of the transport station.

* * *

 

Two days later, on the boys' birthday, Spock held Soren and Xander’s hands as their group walking into the children’s museum.  The boys wore birthday shirts and were itching to run into the play area. They tugged on Spock’s hands trying to their dad to move but Spock stayed put.

“We must wait for daddy to pay for admission,” Spock told them. “You both need stickers for entrance.”

“But there’s a treehouse!” Xander fussed.

“And dress up!” Soren added. “We gotta go!”

“You must wait,” Spock tried again but the boys started getting extra fussy and jumping up and down.

“Threenagers,” Bones chuckled, coming up to Spock.

“Pardon?”

“You had the terrible twos now you get the threenager stage.”

“You have to let us go right now,” Soren said to his sa-mekh with a grumpy expression.

“Its our birthday. We go play,” Xander added with an equally grumpy expression.

Spock blinked down at his sons as Jim and his mother approached.  The boys’ expressions went back to ones of innocence as their daddy knelt down and placed stickers on their shirts.

“Are we going to behave or are the birthday boys going into time-out for a little while?” Jim asked.

“We behave,” they both said. “We’re sorry.”

Jim smiled and nodded. “Thank you. You may go play now.”

Spock released the boys hands and watched them bolt from the museum lobby and into the play area.

Jim sighed and leaned against Spock. “They are definitely our sons.”

Spock arched a brow. “Of course they are. You gave birth to them.”

Jim, Bones, and Amanda laughed at the Vulcan.

* * *

 

Jim sat down next to Chris in the party room at the children’s museum. Chris smiled at him and patted Jim on the back.

“Kids age you, don’t they?”

Jim smiled back and nodded. “Especially part Vulcan ones.”

“Where’s Spock?”

“Trying to find the boys. One went into the enchanted cave while the other is hiding in the dino dig pit.”

Chris chuckled. “They’re a handful. Just like their dads.”

“Quiet you or else Paw-Paw is babysitting this weekend.”

“I wouldn’t mind. They behave for me.”

Jim laughed. “They behave for everyone but me and Spock. The little terrors.”

“And just think what havoc they can get into on the five year mission.”

Jim closed his eyes and sighed. “I don’t want to think about that.” He opened his eyes and looked to Chris. “Scotty has been working hard on child-proofing most of the ship since we’re allowing other crewmembers to bring their families and children.”

“Five years. The boys will be eight went the mission is complete.”

“Don’t remind me.”

Chris put his arm around Jim’s shoulder. “You and your crew will do great, Jim. I believe in you.”

Jim smiled and leaned into Chris’s side.

After a few moments they looked up to see Spock standing there with a blonde kid in his arms. “I found one,” he said.

Jim blinked then replied, “That’s not one of ours.”

Spock’s eyes widened as he turned the kid around and saw that the child was, indeed,  not one of his t sons.

* * *

 

After making sure they had the right children, Jim and Spock had all their family and friends gather into the party room for cake and presents.

The boys devoured their cakes quickly and had to be changed into new shirts before sitting them down and letting them open their presents.

Uhura gave them books to begin their linguistic studies, Bones gave them little pretend medic kits, Sulu and Chekov went in on some big building block sets together, Carol and Christine gave them toy cars and trucks while Scotty gave them credit chips.

“Scotty,” Jim laughed. “Really?”

“I’ve been so bloody busy with the ship refit, Jim,” Scotty fussed. “I thought the wee ones’ birthdays were next month!”

“Its okay, Mr. Scott,” Jim told him, hugging his friend. “Calm down and maybe stay away from those fumes down in engineering so much.”

“There aren’t any fumes.”

“Okay, whatever you say, but you and Keenser are going to take a break for about a week from the refit.”

“I just cannot take a…”

“Break, Scotty. Captain’s orders.  Oh and where is Keenser?”

“Did you forget to tell him about the party?” Uhura asked.

Scotty blinked. “I didn’t know about this party until an hour ago!”

Jim patted Scotty on the back then made him sit down. “Its okay. We’ll have you and Keenser over later.”

“Daddy look!” the twins then exclaimed, getting Jim’s attention.

Jim looked and saw his sons sitting on two mini hoverbikes. His eyes widened as he looked to Chris.

Chris held his hands up. “I didn’t do it. I gave play-doh and action figures.”

Jim looked to Selik.

“I did not either. I gave them board games and stuffed whales.”

“Jim,” Amanda said.

Jim looked to his in-law and saw her nodding towards Sarek. 

“Sarek?” Jim asked.

“They are logical gifts,” the Vulcan admitted.

Jim shook his head as the boys figured out how to start their presents. Jim was about to tell them not to drive but then Xander’s hoverbike lurched forward and knocked into his legs, causing Jim to stumble and fall back onto his butt.

“Sorry, daddy,” Xander said innocently.

Jim nodded and allowed Spock to help him. 

 _I think we should confiscate these presents,_ Spock suggested.

_Maybe, but they look so cool._

_Then you may sleep on the couch with them tonight._

Jim grinned before walking over to Spock and kissing his cheek as he stood up. _Love you._

 _I know,_ Spock replied being run into by Soren on his bike. 

* * *

 

Jim stood off to the side as his bosses and other officials lined up to walk onto the stage. It was a few days after the boys birthday and Starfleet was holding a memorial service to those who lost their lives a year previous because of Khan.

Jim had his hat in his hands and mentally repeated a speech Spock had helped him prepare. The past year of recovery had been rough for him and for his family.  Dying and coming back to life was not something to easily recover from. He knew he suffered from PTSD but he could make the case that he’d been suffering from that for years, ever since Tarsus. 

After being told they would get a five year mission several months ago, Jim and Spock took the boys on a much needed vacation to Lake Tahoe, just the four of them .  The boys had loved the lake and exploring the area and Jim had come back quite refreshed and ready to get back to work.  He was now feeling one hundred percent better and only suffered from the occasional bad dream which wasn’t new that Spock helped him thru.

Jim looked up when everyone started walking onto the stage.  He put his hat back on and took in a deep breath before releasing and walking onto the stage. 

* * *

 

After several speeches from his bosses and other officials, Jim was summoned to the podium.  He scanned the crowed of Starfleet officers and cadets before zeroing in on Spock.  He mentally nudged his mate and got a nudge in return as he felt his bond with his sons’ flair up. They were out there somewhere with Selik, Amanda, and Sarek. No doubt being bribed with treats if they sat quietly during the service.

Jim took in a deep breath and released it before starting his speech.

* * *

 

“Those were lovely words, Jim,” Amanda told him as they met after the service.

“Thank you. Spock helped,” Jim replied before looking down at his boys.  They were dressed a bit fancy with both wearing a long sleeve dress shirt and khaki suspender shorts. “You were quite well behaved.”

“Nana gave us candy,” the both replied.

"Amanda," Jim lightly fussed.

Amanda smiled innocently. "It kept them quiet, didn't it?

Jim nodded then looked down to see Soren holding his hands up to Jim to be held.

Jim smiled and picked Soren up and put his Starfleet hat on his son’s head as Xander went to Spock with be picked up. Soren yawned before wrapping his arms around Jim’s neck and snuggling into his arms.

“Someone’s ready for their nap, huh?” Jim asked, rubbing Soren’s back.

“No nap,” Soren replied sleepily. 

Jim watched as Amanda walked over to where Sarek stood speaking with Chris and Nogura.  Jim looked around as he felt Soren start to doze off in his arms.

“Captain Kirk?” A woman’s voice said from behind him.

He turned slowly as to not rouse Soren. He found a woman and a young girl standing there, immediately recognizing them from Thomas Harewood’s file.

“Rima, right?” Jim asked, adjusting Soren to hold him with one arm as he held out his other. 

Rima smiled and shook his hand. “Thank you for your words, Captain.”

“Of course,” Jim replied before smiling down to the girl and holding his hand out to her. “Hello, Lucille.”

“Hello, Captain Kirk,” Lucille replied, shaking his hand and smiling back.

* * *

 

“Emotional day,” Jim groaned as he cuddled into Spock’s side in bed when they returned home. They put the boys down for naps and Jim decided he needed one too.

“Indeed,” Spock replied, holding him. “I saw you spoke to Harewood’s family.”

“Yeah, just for a moment before I needed to leave. I hope they’re doing alright.”

“I am certain they are. Lucille’s health has greatly improved.”

Jim nodded and nuzzled into Spock’s neck before yawning. “I need like…ten…fifteen minutes before we can head up to the ship and check it out.”

“Take your time, ashayam,” Spock replied.

Jim closed his eyes and breathed in Spock’s scent. He was close to drifting off when his eyes snapped opened hearing something a crash outside their room.

“I believe the boys are awake.”

“No,” Jim groaned.

“And have found their hoverbikes.”

“No,” Jim groaned again. “They need naps. I need a nap.”

“Indeed,” Spock sighed in agreement.  _We all need naps._

* * *

 

**_One Month Later_ **

“Amanda, you have to let go now,” Jim told his mother-in-law as she hugged him tight.

“You’re leaving for five years and taking my boys with you, I get to hug you for as long as I want,” Amanda sniffled.

“I know, but we’ll see each other during those five years. We’ll have shore leaves and other stuff that will take us near New Vulcan.  Its not forever.”

Amanda reluctantly pulled back and nodded.  Jim kissed her cheek and told her not to cry.

“Oh I can’t help it,” Amanda sniffled before looking over and smiling at seeing the twins hugging Sarek.

“We will visit, Mother,” Spock said.  Amanda nodded then grabbed her son in a tight embrace.

Jim waved at Spock as he tried getting Jim to help him get out of Amanda’s hug but Jim walked away and over to Selik.

“Any advice?” Jim asked.

“No.”

“Hints?”

“Your path is yours to walk, and yours alone. I will not give you information that could…”

“Please? One hint,” Jim asked, giving Selik his signature puppy dog look.

Selik gave him a warm smile before hugging him. He then whispered into Jim’s ear. “Keep Spock away from Omicron Ceti III, do not let the boys go on away missions, and whales.”

Jim raised a brow when Selik pulled back.

“That is all I will tell you, young one.”

“Omicron Ceti III, no away missions for the boys, and whales?”

Selik nodded.

“Okay, you have to tell me about whales now.”

“I will not,” Selik said before approach a newly released Spock. He held his hand up in a Vulcan ta’al.

“I overheard what you said to Jim,” Spock said. “Why must I be kept from…”

“Leila.”

Spock’s eyes widened and then he nodded. “Of course.”

“As I told Jim a few things, I will tell you to watch Jim around people named Edith and Charlie, there will be tribbles, and your Time is not too far away.”

Spock nodded, not quite understanding about Edith, Charlie or tribbles. He did understand his about his Time.

“Thank you.”

“You are welcome,” Selik replied. “Good luck.”

* * *

 

After making sure the boys were taken care of, Jim entered the bridge.

“Keptin on ze bridge,” Chekov announced from his station.

Jim smiled at him before bouncing over to where Bones stood nearby and clapped him on the shoulder.

“Five years, Bones!” Jim exclaimed.

“Five years in space,” he grumbled. “God help me.”

“Here Doctor,” Spock said, turning towards his friend from his station. He held out a book to Bones who took it and then glared at Spock.

“ _Conquering your Spacephobia_ ,” Bones read.

“To help you,” Spock told him with a small smirk before turning back to his station. 

Bones held the book out to throw at the Vulcan but Jim stood in front of him.

“That’s not nice. Besides, it’s going to be fun. All of us in space. Exploring…”

“Dying,” Bones interrupted.

“That is not the spirit, Bones. Besides, maybe you’ll come back with a little Leonard Junior with Carol?” Jim grinned before heading to his chair.

Bones’ eyes widened. “I…I…I need to make sure the birth control and condoms are fully stocked in medbay.” Bones then quickly turned and left the bridge.

Jim chuckled then eyed Sulu. “I see someone still likes that chair, huh?”

Sulu smiled and stood up from the chair. “ _Captain_ does have a nice ring to it.”

“And you’ll be Captain Sulu soon enough.”

Jim sat down and comm’d Scotty. “How’s our core?”

“Purring like a kitten, Sir,” Scotty replied. “She’s ready for a long journey.”

“Excellent,” Jim said as Spock came to stand next to him. Jim looked to his husband and smiled. “Commander, where should we go first?”

Spock looked to him and gave a little smile in return. “I defer to your good judgment, Captain.”

Jim grinned. “Second start to the right and straight on til morning?”

“Logical," Spock replied, reaching a hand down to stroke two fingers across the back of Jim's hand. 

Jim nodded then turned to Sulu. “Mr. Sulu, take us out.”

* * *

 

**_1 ½ Years Later_ **

Jim tucked his four year olds into bed before looking around their messy room and shaking his head.  He’d have them clean up tomorrow as he turned off the lights and left their room, shutting the door behind him.

He went to his desk and checked the newest star fleet orders before hearing Spock enter their quarters. Jim didn’t look up as he said, “Boys are sleeping and I need to have a conference with…umf.” Jim found himself bent over his desk with a Vulcan sprawled over his back, rutting against him.

“Spock?”

Spock growled and nipped at Jim’s neck.

_Spock, what is up? Can’t you wait until the bedroom?_

_I need you, t’hy’la,_ Spock replied. _Burn for you._

Jim’s eyes widened before realizing what was happening. _Oh god. Its…Its your time right? Pon Farr?_

Spock growled and continued rutting against Jim’s backside.

Jim struggled and managed to get Spock off of him, pushing back and causing the Vulcan to fall sprawled out on the floor. 

Spock blinked and shook his head. “I…I was in the labs.”

“And then you were in here humping me,” Jim replied. “Go meditate while I make arrangements.”

“Arrangements for what?” Spock asked, unsure of how he’d come to be here and why.

 Jim quickly sent Spock, through their bond, what had just happened.  Spock’s cheeks tinted green as he hung his head.

“I have shamed myself,” Spock said which made Jim chuckled.

“No you haven’t. I am all for some humping and you know that. And I am totally up for, what is it, a week? A week of hot, crazy, passionate sex?”

Spock looked to his mate and stood up. “I will lose all control. It is not a matter to be taken lightly.”

Jim grinned and his eyes twinkled. “My Vulcan losing control. I like that.”

“James.”

Jim shook his head. “Go meditate and I’ll make arrangements for us to be alone and for the boys to be watched.”

Spock sighed and nodded. “It is still not something to look forward to, ashal-veh.”

Jim went to Spock and wrapped his arms around his neck. “Hey, you’re most fertile right now right?”

Spock nodded.

“Should we…another baby?”

Spock considered it. “We have three and a half years left on our mission. We can wait.”

“What if we wait and find out we can’t have another baby? Now seems like a decent time. The boys are still young and would love a little brother or sister to play with. And we did promise your mother another grandbaby.”

Spock nodded. “Then we shall attempt to conceive.”

Jim smiled and kissed Spock who turned growly again and tried carrying Jim to the bedroom. “Spock, you have to wait!”

“No, mine!” Spock replied before hoisting Jim over his shoulders and carrying to him to the bedroom.

* * *

 

**_Eight Weeks Pregnant_ **

“Be one baby, be one baby,” Jim quietly said to himself as he laid back on the biobed and waited for Bones to begin the exam.

“It will be one. The odds are having twins again is…”

“Spock,” Jim said.

Spock went quiet and nodded. “One baby.”

Jim smiled as Bones came into the room and started up the fetal monitor.

“Why don’t you and Carol have one so she and I can be prego buddies?” Jim asked.

“Quiet or else,” Bones replied before putting the transducer on Jim’s exposed abdomen. “I see someone’s starting to show.”

“No, its fat," Jim chuckled. 

“It’s the start of a baby bump,” Bones told him as he looked to the monitor.

After a few minutes of silence, Jim poked Bones on the arm. “Well? How’s the baby doing?”

Bones blinked then looked to Jim and Spock and grinned. “Both babies are developing wonderfully.”

It took a moment for Jim and Spock to process what Bones said but when they did, Jim and Spock’s eyes widened.

“No, you’re lying. There’s one baby,” Jim said.

Bones shook his head as Jim and Spock looked to the monitor. Bones pointed to the two heartbeats on the screen. “I wouldn’t lie about this, Jim. Twins. Again.”

Jim looked to his friend. “But…but we have twins.”

“Indeed, we have twins,” Spock repeated, his face starting to look paler that usual.

“And now you get another set. Isn’t space travel fun?” Bones smiled.

“Twins. Again.” Jim sighed.

“Indeed,” Spock said before his eyes rolled back and he passed out on the floor.

Jim didn’t even glance his way as he stared at the heartbeats on the monitor. “Just…please be girls,” he begged.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All done! I hope you enjoyed reading the story! 
> 
> I may be able to be convinced to add an extra small chapter about Jim's pregnancy and the new twins :)
> 
> Update: I did write about Jim's next pregnancy :) it's the next story in this series and is up now. Bundles of Joy

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments are most appreciated!


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